Mermaid: Top Half Fish ... Or Top Half Human?

[Gugny]

If you had to be stranded on an island with a mermaid, would you choose the mermaid to be fish on top/human on bottom?  Or human on top/fish on bottom (classic mermaid)?

 

Please be Seinfeld-ish with your reasoning .... if you know what I mean.

[RaoulDuke79]

Top half human, bottom half clam.

[Augie]

I’m a traditionalist when it comes to my mermaids. 

 

I might change my mind after an anatomy lesson. 

[Mike in Horseheads]

Anybody that saw Daryl Hannah in Splash knows top half!

 

[Gugny]

I'd love to hear @GoBills808's reasoning ............

 

[frostbitmic]

Top half Daryl Hannah and I'll refrain from going further.

[GoBills808]

1 minute ago, Gugny said:

I'd love to hear @GoBills808's reasoning ............

 

 

Look- you're stranded on an deserted island. In this scenario we're assuming that both mermaids will be equally amphibious (ie the top half fish will be able to survive on land, the top half human will be able to live underwater). It boils down to three categories of importance, explained below in order of importance:

 

SURVIVAL- 50%

 

We're along, on an island. We need to build shelter, scavenge for food and water. There are a million tasks to accomplish daily in order for us to stay alive. To this end, wouldn't you rather have someone who can walk to the forest and gather firewood (albeit carry it back in several trips owing to her flippers), or catch a fish with her sharp teeth (granted it will have to be a very slow and stupid fish because she can only swim 1.5x faster than a normal human), and can survive drinking saltwater (way underrated quality in a mermaid)? Your top half human traditional mermaid is basically useless on land; without a pair of crutches you'd have to carry her around wherever she wanted to go, expending precious energy you should be using to gather supplies and sustenance. Winner- Top Half Fish

 

COMPANIONSHIP - 50% 

 

I understand the traditionalists saying human company would be crucial. I hear you. I understand your argument. But to suggest that a top half fish mermaid would be unable to learn some sort of sign language, or that the squeaks and chatters fish vocal chords can produce couldn't be put into some sort of primitive language is just speciesist. You're on a deserted island forever, one (or both) of you will adapt and learn to communicate. It will keep you mind sharper. Plus...what are you going to talk to a traditional mermaid about anyway? How her hair is somehow never wet? For some reason I always think top half human mermaids would be sulky and stuck up and a real drag being marooned with anyway.

 

Now- potential romantic involvement. It must be discussed. Here it seems (to the uninitiated) that the traditional mermaid wins hands down no pun intended. Your initial reaction to a physical encounter with a top half fish mermaid, however, MUST be weighed against the very non-human reproductive system you'll be attempting to deal with. Now I don't suppose any of you rookies have ever initiated ***** with a fish so let me be first to tell you: it neither easy nor satisfying. In fact, owing to scales and spines and without a well-stocked first aid kit I'm guessing 99% of you wouldn't attempt it a second time. Our top half fish mermaid suffers from none of these issues. She's clearly the better choice for companionship.  Winner- Top Half Fish

 

You winner by unanimous decision:

 

 

 

[Chandemonium]

 

[ExiledInIllinois]

1 hour ago, GoBills808 said:

 

Look- you're stranded on an deserted island. In this scenario we're assuming that both mermaids will be equally amphibious (ie the top half fish will be able to survive on land, the top half human will be able to live underwater). It boils down to three categories of importance, explained below in order of importance:

 

SURVIVAL- 50%

 

We're along, on an island. We need to build shelter, scavenge for food and water. There are a million tasks to accomplish daily in order for us to stay alive. To this end, wouldn't you rather have someone who can walk to the forest and gather firewood (albeit carry it back in several trips owing to her flippers), or catch a fish with her sharp teeth (granted it will have to be a very slow and stupid fish because she can only swim 1.5x faster than a normal human), and can survive drinking saltwater (way underrated quality in a mermaid)? Your top half human traditional mermaid is basically useless on land; without a pair of crutches you'd have to carry her around wherever she wanted to go, expending precious energy you should be using to gather supplies and sustenance. Winner- Top Half Fish

 

COMPANIONSHIP - 50% 

 

I understand the traditionalists saying human company would be crucial. I hear you. I understand your argument. But to suggest that a top half fish mermaid would be unable to learn some sort of sign language, or that the squeaks and chatters fish vocal chords can produce couldn't be put into some sort of primitive language is just speciesist. You're on a deserted island forever, one (or both) of you will adapt and learn to communicate. It will keep you mind sharper. Plus...what are you going to talk to a traditional mermaid about anyway? How her hair is somehow never wet? For some reason I always think top half human mermaids would be sulky and stuck up and a real drag being marooned with anyway.

 

Now- potential romantic involvement. It must be discussed. Here it seems (to the uninitiated) that the traditional mermaid wins hands down no pun intended. Your initial reaction to a physical encounter with a top half fish mermaid, however, MUST be weighed against the very non-human reproductive system you'll be attempting to deal with. Now I don't suppose any of you rookies have ever initiated ***** with a fish so let me be first to tell you: it neither easy nor satisfying. In fact, owing to scales and spines and without a well-stocked first aid kit I'm guessing 99% of you wouldn't attempt it a second time. Our top half fish mermaid suffers from none of these issues. She's clearly the better choice for companionship.  Winner- Top Half Fish

 

You winner by unanimous decision:

 

 

 

With no hands?  Great she can walk... Then what.

 

I think @Gugny is right... You're quite the sicko.  ?

[ExiledInIllinois]

2 hours ago, Mike in Horseheads said:

Anybody that saw Daryl Hannah in Splash knows top half!

 

Sorry to be the harbinger of bad news.

 

She's a whack job tree hugger something now.

 

She's outta Chicago... Lemont, Illinois.  Her family owned Hannah Marine.  It was a shipping company that moved barges, etc... Along the Great Lakes and Chicago Area Waterways (CAWs).

 

They used to have a towboat/tug named the: Daryl C. Hannah that would push tanker barges through the lock where I work. 

 

Sorry be a killjoy.  Want me to post a current picture?  She looks like a hazmat petrol-chem barge now.?

 

Stop making the case for that twisted sicko @GoBills808

 

Enough said... Change your mind?  ??

[Augie]

4 minutes ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

Sorry to be the harbinger of bad news.

 

She's a whack job tree hugger something now.

 

She's outta Chicago... Lemont, Illinois.  Her family owned Hannah Marine.  It was a shipping company that moved barges, etc... Along the Great Lakes and Chicago Area Waterways (CAWs).

 

They used to have a towboat/tug named the: Daryl C. Hannah that would push tanker barges through the lock where I work. 

 

Sorry be a killjoy.  Want me to post a current picture?  She looks like a hazmat petrol-chem barge now.?

 

Stop making the case for that twisted sicko @GoBills808

 

Enough said... Change your mind?  ??

 

That’s all well and good, but let’s get to the bottom line:

 

Where does she stand on Asian Carp.

 

I’ll check back next week.   ?

 

[ExiledInIllinois]

2 minutes ago, Augie said:

 

That’s all well and good, but let’s get to the bottom line:

 

Where does she stand on Asian Carp.

 

I’ll check back next week.   ?

 

She is probably against them.  Racist!

 

She's an environmentalist.

[Augie]

3 minutes ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

She is probably against them.  Racist!

I plan to set a one week timer, but it’s late. I’ll get to that in the morning.

 

 

Carp. 

[ExiledInIllinois]

2 minutes ago, Augie said:

I plan to set a one week timer, but it’s late. I’ll get to that in the morning.

 

 

Carp. 

I am just saying... She's a typical environmental hypocrite.  Her family made tons of money in the petrol-chem shipping business... Now she wants to save the world.  She is probably anti-carp, anti-shipping... Now that her family is rich.

 

Again, just saying... That's how it always is.  They got theirs.

[Augie]

2 minutes ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

I am just saying... She's a typical environmental hypocrite.  Her family made tons of money in the petrol-chem shipping business... Now she wants to save the world.  She is probably anti-carp, anti-shipping... Now that her family is rich.

 

Again, just saying... That's how it always is.  They got theirs.

Lalalalalalalalalalalala.....I can’t hear you! 

 

?

[LeGOATski]

I'm tired of females making the fish face.

 

Top half human, please.

[/dev/null]

This is indeed a dilemma

 

Top half human, bottom half fish

Pros: human face.  boobs.  can give blowies.  ability to speak when you're in the mood for conversation

Cons: No human girl parts.  No legs means you have to help transport when on shore.  ability to speak when you're not in the mood for conversation

 

Top half fish, bottom half human

Pros: Human girl parts.  Can't speak

Cons: Has legs so she can follow you around.  No hands so she can't make you sammich.  No human face or boobs, so it's going to be all doggyfish style

[Foxx]

6 hours ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

Sorry to be the harbinger of bad news.

 

She's a whack job tree hugger something now.

 

She's outta Chicago... Lemont, Illinois.  Her family owned Hannah Marine.  It was a shipping company that moved barges, etc... Along the Great Lakes and Chicago Area Waterways (CAWs).

 

They used to have a towboat/tug named the: Daryl C. Hannah that would push tanker barges through the lock where I work. 

 

Sorry be a killjoy.  Want me to post a current picture?  She looks like a hazmat petrol-chem barge now.?

 

Stop making the case for that twisted sicko @GoBills808

 

Enough said... Change your mind?  ??

only you could make this topic about you.

Edited August 9, 2019 by Foxx

[Cripple Creek]

9 hours ago, Gugny said:

If you had to be stranded on an island with a mermaid, would you choose the mermaid to be fish on top/human on bottom?  Or human on top/fish on bottom (classic mermaid)?

 

Please be Seinfeld-ish with your reasoning .... if you know what I mean.

Can I get from just above the boobies to just below the veejayjay human?  Why does it have to be top half/bottom half?

9 hours ago, GoBills808 said:

 

Look- you're stranded on an deserted island. In this scenario we're assuming that both mermaids will be equally amphibious (ie the top half fish will be able to survive on land, the top half human will be able to live underwater). It boils down to three categories of importance, explained below in order of importance:

 

SURVIVAL- 50%

 

We're along, on an island. We need to build shelter, scavenge for food and water. There are a million tasks to accomplish daily in order for us to stay alive. To this end, wouldn't you rather have someone who can walk to the forest and gather firewood (albeit carry it back in several trips owing to her flippers), or catch a fish with her sharp teeth (granted it will have to be a very slow and stupid fish because she can only swim 1.5x faster than a normal human), and can survive drinking saltwater (way underrated quality in a mermaid)? Your top half human traditional mermaid is basically useless on land; without a pair of crutches you'd have to carry her around wherever she wanted to go, expending precious energy you should be using to gather supplies and sustenance. Winner- Top Half Fish

 

COMPANIONSHIP - 50% 

 

I understand the traditionalists saying human company would be crucial. I hear you. I understand your argument. But to suggest that a top half fish mermaid would be unable to learn some sort of sign language, or that the squeaks and chatters fish vocal chords can produce couldn't be put into some sort of primitive language is just speciesist. You're on a deserted island forever, one (or both) of you will adapt and learn to communicate. It will keep you mind sharper. Plus...what are you going to talk to a traditional mermaid about anyway? How her hair is somehow never wet? For some reason I always think top half human mermaids would be sulky and stuck up and a real drag being marooned with anyway.

 

Now- potential romantic involvement. It must be discussed. Here it seems (to the uninitiated) that the traditional mermaid wins hands down no pun intended. Your initial reaction to a physical encounter with a top half fish mermaid, however, MUST be weighed against the very non-human reproductive system you'll be attempting to deal with. Now I don't suppose any of you rookies have ever initiated ***** with a fish so let me be first to tell you: it neither easy nor satisfying. In fact, owing to scales and spines and without a well-stocked first aid kit I'm guessing 99% of you wouldn't attempt it a second time. Our top half fish mermaid suffers from none of these issues. She's clearly the better choice for companionship.  Winner- Top Half Fish

 

You winner by unanimous decision:

 

 

 

Those aren't opposable fins bub. Can't nuthin be picked up by them.

[ExiledInIllinois]

1 hour ago, Foxx said:

only you could make this topic about you.

Ain't about me... It's about that whack job half-fish Hannah... Just passing on a story about how that family made it's dough...

 

Stop being so insecure.