Jets Gase ask wife "you good?" right after giving birth and then leaving

[oldmanfan]

21 minutes ago, AllenLongBall said:

 

You are simply wrong, go do some research instead of reacting emotionally. There are statistics to back up the differences between male and female humans.

 

IQ scores in one country -Scotland - in 1932.  Part of my job is research and understanding statistics.  This kind of data for 2019 is meaningless.  To begin with, educational opportunities back then were considerably different. 

 

When you can come up with a statistically valid claim to back up what appears to be a misogynistic opinion get back to me.

[Say When...]

14 hours ago, Hapless Bills Fan said:

 

Yeah, but the profile is all about what a great guy he is and how fantastic and supportive he is of all his players and assistant coaches and their families.

 

To me, if a guy is like that with his wife, it shows his "supportiveness" stems from a desire to manipulate people by showing support, and not from a base of being a genuine caring concerned man>  If you're genuinely caring and concerned, then you "get it" that, you know, wives are people too and need support around difficult life events like surgery and childbirth.

 

I read this and can't blame your thought process but at the same time think how wrong you've got it.  it's not manipulation, it's understanding where your success comes from as a leader, simply put, it's the people you're leading and some guys give all they got to their teams and there's not much left when you get home.

 

also have to understand the point of time in his career, he's not 'managing' a 10 year career here, he has a new job and let's be real, the expectations for any HC, regardless of tenure is off the charts, probably nothing we'll ever feel in our careers.  now, someone could argue "you've got a contract that protects you" yea, a single lump sum, but if you fail in one position, it gets less and less until you have nothing so dedication and perseverance may just pay off.

 

does this hit home for me?  absolutely.  I don't carry near the career of an HC but when i decided to get married and my wife and I talked about it i told her "as long as you're OK with being #2 as my job will always be #1; love don't pay the bills..."  and i was dead serious.  now, this was a different scenario, I didn't want kids and neither did she; it was later in my life (36) and really our only "big" life moment was going to be vacation or buying  house.

 

in my career i've managed teams of 300-500; been away from home 3+ months straight; during a merger i spent 276 days a year in a hotel for 3 years and I have always said when i'm at work everyone gets my attention, 'coaching', care and concern (whilst i'm not a family man; in my own or even the family i grew up with - i'm quite sincere about others and ensure they are comfortable in how they care for their families), development in career, etc.  and i "leave it all on the field" meaning i come home with 'not much more' and to expect that.  We're still married 12 years later and while it's not your average marriage it works.  Honestly i thought she was going to wait for the 10 year mark and then take half :).

 

Now, i've got 20 years with the same FI(Financial Institution), i've accomplished many of the goals i had set; we've recently moved from LA to far south Miami and there's many more "8 and skate" workdays for me so we have more time together.  she still understands work has priority (travel, on-call, etc.) but at the level i sit within the company it's lass frequent, i'm now managing the people that do what i spent the last 20 years doing, do i expect they put in the same dedication?  absolutely not, but i do expect results and they, as well as I, need to know what that means to attain results and that's both of us working together.

 

My wife may have some comments, some of them very honest, i love the candor she brings, but this has worked for us, would i have said "you good" at the delivery room?  not sure, but if there was a work need we both would have our expectations set and would know what scenario would play out.

 

I'm not condoning Gase's actions but i can see his thought process and the point in time of his career and his wife should know what she's in for being married to an HC and that might mean she has to accept some things she doesn't like.

 

lastly - his track record isn't good but i'm nervous what's coming out of New Jersey; if he's laser focused, gets Greggggggg under control (thats not easy) and puts this all together he could find his first success as an HC.  he has a heck of a lot more autonomy (and better FO) than he did in Miami, if the players buy in this could be a good thing but it's going to be fragile, very fragile.

 

[AllenLongBall]

13 minutes ago, oldmanfan said:

IQ scores in one country -Scotland - in 1932.  Part of my job is research and understanding statistics.  This kind of data for 2019 is meaningless.  To begin with, educational opportunities back then were considerably different. 

 

When you can come up with a statistically valid claim to back up what appears to be a misogynistic opinion get back to me.

 

That chart is pretty much common knowledge in intelligence research.  Yes, educational opportunities can change the curves a bit, however there still exists a greater variability in male intelligence vs. female intelligence, that is scientific fact and it has not changed over many decades of testing.

 

It is definitely interesting how different groups of humans express willful scientific ignorance, be it climate change, vaccination or intelligence research...

[Your Brown Eye]

People are honestly arguing over if the Jets HC is a good husband or not....thank God there's a Bills game today and will bury this thread into the bowels of TBD

[AllenLongBall]

11 minutes ago, Your Brown Eye said:

People are honestly arguing over if the Jets HC is a good husband or not....thank God there's a Bills game today and will bury this thread into the bowels of TBD

 

I mean, if his wife dated and married him while he was a coach, this is what she signed up for IMO.  Calling someone who is a workaholic a "jerk" because they don't conform to societal norms is not the correct approach.  They should be trying to understand what it is to be a workaholic. It's akin to calling someone with autism the derogatory r-word.

 

I will watch the game tonight but preseason is preseason...

 

EDIT:  Actually hmm, I have Direct TV, will I be able to watch the game? lol

Edited August 8, 2019 by AllenLongBall

[apuszczalowski]

14 hours ago, NoSaint said:

 

Ultimately, everyone’s different and if it works for their relationship, it’s hard for me to judge. Plenty of couples out there do things that would never work for me.

 

its entirely possible he’s a caring guy and his wife’s just not into having a real partner. Sometimes the right people find each other.

Or she realises he only has limited time to make a few million as a head coach til people figure him out as a bad HC so she takes comfort in the pool boy and mailman until then when she will take half in the divorce settlement........

[oldmanfan]

45 minutes ago, AllenLongBall said:

 

That chart is pretty much common knowledge in intelligence research.  Yes, educational opportunities can change the curves a bit, however there still exists a greater variability in male intelligence vs. female intelligence, that is scientific fact and it has not changed over many decades of testing.

 

It is definitely interesting how different groups of humans express willful scientific ignorance, be it climate change, vaccination or intelligence research...

I went and researched some of this, and what the data seems to show is that, overall, there is no difference in mean IQ scores between sexes..  If one looks at top IQ scores it seems to skew towards men, and if you look at low IQ scores it skews towards men.  In other words, there are more really smart and more really dumb men vs. women.   Now, whether that has to do with true biologic differences, differences in educational opportunities, or what remains open to question.  Why you chose to pull a Scottish study from 1932 when there is data that is more to the point and more up to date suggests you may have a poor understanding of the value of studies.

 

I have been active in research for over 35 years with multiple peer reviewed publications.  You may want to whine about understanding research elsewhere.  And you may want to reconsider the statement about women needing to know what they're getting into, as that statement first of all has nothing to do with IQ scores and second is pretty much misogynistic. 

 

 

 

Edited August 8, 2019 by oldmanfan

[oldmanfan]

17 minutes ago, Say When... said:

 

I read this and can't blame your thought process but at the same time think how wrong you've got it.  it's not manipulation, it's understanding where your success comes from as a leader, simply put, it's the people you're leading and some guys give all they got to their teams and there's not much left when you get home.

 

also have to understand the point of time in his career, he's not 'managing' a 10 year career here, he has a new job and let's be real, the expectations for any HC, regardless of tenure is off the charts, probably nothing we'll ever feel in our careers.  now, someone could argue "you've got a contract that protects you" yea, a single lump sum, but if you fail in one position, it gets less and less until you have nothing so dedication and perseverance may just pay off.

 

does this hit home for me?  absolutely.  I don't carry near the career of an HC but when i decided to get married and my wife and I talked about it i told her "as long as you're OK with being #2 as my job will always be #1; love don't pay the bills..."  and i was dead serious.  now, this was a different scenario, I didn't want kids and neither did she; it was later in my life (36) and really our only "big" life moment was going to be vacation or buying  house.

 

in my career i've managed teams of 300-500; been away from home 3+ months straight; during a merger i spent 276 days a year in a hotel for 3 years and I have always said when i'm at work everyone gets my attention, 'coaching', care and concern (whilst i'm not a family man; in my own or even the family i grew up with - i'm quite sincere about others and ensure they are comfortable in how they care for their families), development in career, etc.  and i "leave it all on the field" meaning i come home with 'not much more' and to expect that.  We're still married 12 years later and while it's not your average marriage it works.  Honestly i thought she was going to wait for the 10 year mark and then take half :).

 

Now, i've got 20 years with the same FI(Financial Institution), i've accomplished many of the goals i had set; we've recently moved from LA to far south Miami and there's many more "8 and skate" workdays for me so we have more time together.  she still understands work has priority (travel, on-call, etc.) but at the level i sit within the company it's lass frequent, i'm now managing the people that do what i spent the last 20 years doing, do i expect they put in the same dedication?  absolutely not, but i do expect results and they, as well as I, need to know what that means to attain results and that's both of us working together.

 

My wife may have some comments, some of them very honest, i love the candor she brings, but this has worked for us, would i have said "you good" at the delivery room?  not sure, but if there was a work need we both would have our expectations set and would know what scenario would play out.

 

I'm not condoning Gase's actions but i can see his thought process and the point in time of his career and his wife should know what she's in for being married to an HC and that might mean she has to accept some things she doesn't like.

 

lastly - his track record isn't good but i'm nervous what's coming out of New Jersey; if he's laser focused, gets Greggggggg under control (thats not easy) and puts this all together he could find his first success as an HC.  he has a heck of a lot more autonomy (and better FO) than he did in Miami, if the players buy in this could be a good thing but it's going to be fragile, very fragile.

 

Interesting and causes me to think a bit.  None of us know of course what the relationship of Gase and his wife is, what discussions they had before they got married, and such.  But when it comes to having your wife having just given birth by C section, and you bail to go meet with Peyton Manning, you have to admit that seems unfeeling at the very least.  I'd also ask what the hell Peyton was thinking; if he knew the guy was coming from his child 's delivery I think I'd postpone the meeting for a while, right?

 

Regardless, I think Gase is the kind of guy that tops out as a position coach or maybe OC but flames out as a HC.

 

[FLFan]

23 minutes ago, AllenLongBall said:

 

That chart is pretty much common knowledge in intelligence research.  Yes, educational opportunities can change the curves a bit, however there still exists a greater variability in male intelligence vs. female intelligence, that is scientific fact and it has not changed over many decades of testing.

 

It is definitely interesting how different groups of humans express willful scientific ignorance, be it climate change, vaccination or intelligence research...

Well, excuse us if we do not just take the word of a self proclaimed expert on a sports message board backed by an obscure 80 year old study.  Your take to then generalize about willful scientific ignorance for those who do not take your word for it is ignorant and arrogant to the extreme. 

Edited August 8, 2019 by FLFan

[WhoTom]

31 minutes ago, AllenLongBall said:

That chart is pretty much common knowledge in intelligence research.

 

You know what else is common knowledge in intelligence research? IQ tests are NOT a valid measure of intelligence. They're a grossly oversimplified measure of certain cognitive abilities.

 

 

[AllenLongBall]

32 minutes ago, oldmanfan said:

I have been active in research for over 35 years with multiple peer reviewed publications.  You may want to whine about understanding research elsewhere.  And you may want to reconsider the statement about women needing to know what they're getting into, as that statement first of all has nothing to do with IQ scores and second is pretty much misogynistic. 

 

 

Hmm, not sure why you are getting so upset.  Certain women have certain traits and men need to know what they are getting into before marriage as well.  You are very quick to judge!

 

7 minutes ago, WhoTom said:

 

You know what else is common knowledge in intelligence research? IQ tests are NOT a valid measure of intelligence. They're a grossly oversimplified measure of certain cognitive abilities.

 

 

 

Well, said certain cognitive abilities lead to being a workaholic, or a genius, or etc... 

 

Anyways, not looking to upset anyone.  I find genetics interesting, and I also find the "men and women are exactly the same" argument equally interesting, mainly because it is so wrong yet so forcefully touted in today's society via a dogmatic approach instead of a scientific approach.

 

Bottom line is I don't think Gase is a "jerk" for doing what he did with his wife.  Maybe people should ask his wife if she thinks so, if she says no, then all this was purely reactionary nonsense.

[oldmanfan]

4 minutes ago, AllenLongBall said:

 

Hmm, not sure why you are getting so upset.  Certain women have certain traits and men need to know what they are getting into before marriage as well.  You are very quick to judge!

 

 

Well, said certain cognitive abilities lead to being a workaholic, or a genius, or etc... 

 

Anyways, not looking to upset anyone.  I find genetics interesting, and I also find the "men and women are exactly the same" argument equally interesting, mainly because it is so wrong yet so forcefully touted in today's society via a dogmatic approach instead of a scientific approach.

 

Bottom line is I don't think Gase is a "jerk" for doing what he did with his wife.  Maybe people should ask his wife if she thinks so, if she says no, then all this was purely reactionary nonsense.

I suppose my opinion is affected by having a wife who is at the top of her profession, as well as two daughters, one of whom graduated magna ***** laude from college and one of whom is getting free ride offers from several collages because of her grades and test scores. 

 

You are correct in that men need to know what their getting into before marriage.  So do women.  Couples who succeed in marriage have those discussions up front, and are willing to compromise for the other.  And I think a reasonable compromise would be to stick around after your wife has just given birth via C section to one of your children.  But that's just me, I guess.

[AllenLongBall]

1 minute ago, oldmanfan said:

I suppose my opinion is affected by having a wife who is at the top of her profession, as well as two daughters, one of whom graduated magna ***** laude from college and one of whom is getting free ride offers from several collages because of her grades and test scores. 

 

You are correct in that men need to know what their getting into before marriage.  So do women.  Couples who succeed in marriage have those discussions up front, and are willing to compromise for the other.  And I think a reasonable compromise would be to stick around after your wife has just given birth via C section to one of your children.  But that's just me, I guess.

 

Yes, it is just you, you're not in the Gase relationship. However, I get it, it's very difficult to not judge others.

[Rocket94]

Then again, people are talking this way now. You got this, I get it. and men calling their girlfriends 'Dude"

16 hours ago, John from Riverside said:

She will get even....they always do

Its early yet...no way she forgets. Somewhere down the line...maybe years!

[WhoTom]

30 minutes ago, AllenLongBall said:

I find genetics interesting, and I also find the "men and women are exactly the same" argument equally interesting, mainly because it is so wrong yet so forcefully touted in today's society via a dogmatic approach instead of a scientific approach.

 

I never said that men and women are exactly the same. I said there's no gender-based differences in intelligence, and that is based on scientific research. (Like oldmanfan, I also have a research background.)

 

 

[Big Turk]

Well, since she grew up the daughter of a football coach she kind of understands and actually was completely onboard with it if people would actually read the article and/or look up other things on it. She said all she wants him to focus on is football and she will take care of everything else and that she loves how passionate he is about it.

Edited August 8, 2019 by matter2003

[AllenLongBall]

9 minutes ago, WhoTom said:

 

I never said that men and women are exactly the same. I said there's no gender-based differences in intelligence, and that is based on scientific research. (Like oldmanfan, I also have a research background.)

 

 

 

I'm confused by your statement. There definitely is gender based differences in intelligence, it occurs at the extremes, but it is there. Cognitive ability impacts intelligence...

17 minutes ago, matter2003 said:

Well, since she grew up the daughter of a football coach she kind of understands and actually was completely onboard with it if people would actually read the article and/or look up other things on it. She said all she wants him to focus on is football and she will take care of everything else and that she loves how passionate he is about it.

 

Huh, whaddya know...

[Big Turk]

17 minutes ago, AllenLongBall said:

 

I'm confused by your statement. There definitely is gender based differences in intelligence, it occurs at the extremes, but it is there. Cognitive ability impacts intelligence...

 

Huh, whaddya know...

Yeah its funny the people on this board are more upset about it than the actual person it happened to...but i guess thats the way it works these days...everyone has to be up in arms about something that doesnt have any concern for them it seems.

[AllenLongBall]

57 minutes ago, matter2003 said:

Yeah its funny the people on this board are more upset about it than the actual person it happened to...but i guess thats the way it works these days...everyone has to be up in arms about something that doesnt have any concern for them it seems.

 

It's because we all have too much time on our hands.  Humans used to have to worry about eating so they didn't die, that kept people busy for their entire lives...

Edited August 8, 2019 by AllenLongBall

[WhoTom]

2 hours ago, AllenLongBall said:

I'm confused by your statement. There definitely is gender based differences in intelligence, it occurs at the extremes, but it is there. Cognitive ability impacts intelligence...

 

No. There is NO scientific evidence that men are more intelligent than women, simply by virtue of gender. None. Zero. Not a shred.

 

A graph from 1932, which is based on a flawed tool, is NOT conclusive scientific evidence. Nor is you shouting "Yes it is!"

 

 

Edited August 8, 2019 by WhoTom