Worst breakup you ever had

[LSHMEAB]

9 hours ago, C.Biscuit97 said:

Not a big poster on this board but looking for a little company in misery.  I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years a few months ago.  Went back and forth for awhile but it is officially over.  It was the longest relationship of my life and the first girl I ever seriously though of marrying.  Lately, I’ve just been beating myself up about screwing things up (she said I won’t grow up, which there is some truth sadly).  Hardest thing is telling my mom because she thought for sure this was it.  Can’t even pretend it didn’t hurt real bad because despite some annoying qualities she had, she was a great girl and I might have ruined having a beautiful family.  And I know she is the type of girl that another guy will marry so that is going to suck real bad. So it’s been a tough few weeks.

 

but now, I’m embracing the pain.  I want to write a book and just make myself stronger.  So if any of you have any advice or similar stories, this guy could use them right now.  Growing up is hard. ?. 

 

P. S. She hated the Bills. 

Do NOT contact her if you want to have any chance of getting her back! It sucks man. The worst.

 

My EX of 7 years ended up with someone else when I was living in Seattle. We weren't really together at the time. I don't know how you'd describe it. As soon as she was gone, I knew I'd screwed up. I would get drunk and give away ALL my leverage trying to get her back. Nothing turns a woman off quicker than too much attention. 

 

At this point, I have a great deal of control back and that's really all I care about. She came over to my house a few months ago telling me I was right about such and such. I had to tell her to beat it because I'm just not prepared for that pain. She played me too many times, so I decided I just wanted to win. I've been with several women since we broke up 5 years ago, but I don't believe I'll love again. I still love her and I think you only find one. If it's never gonna happen, at least maintain CONTROL.

 

Like I said, NO CONTACT.

Edited June 12, 2019 by LSHMEAB

[Misterbluesky]

6 minutes ago, RaoulDuke79 said:

Maybe he's just technologically advanced.....I was curious about the growing up statement because it can mean several different things. Is it staying out and partying until 4am several days a week? Is it not being on a solid career path, or is it just a matter of different interests? Maybe he likes to play video games and she like to visit museums. Who knows? To your point though, after 5 plus years and not taking the next step, maybe subconsciously his heart wasn't in it.

I doubt we would have been invited to the wedding,anyway.

[Buffalo_Gal]

@C.Biscuit97 I am very sorry you are going through this. Platitudes aside, it can be devastating when a long-term relationship breaks up. 

Hopefully your forever person is right around the corner, and you both living happily ever after. ? 

As far as my worst break-up? When my ex-husband and I got divorced. And the only reason it was bad was because it was a long, long time in coming. If I had a do-over, I'd have filed 10-years (minimum) earlier.  Moving on was for the best for both of us (we (my ex and I) are both now happily married to other people).

[RaoulDuke79]

5 minutes ago, Misterbluesky said:

I doubt we would have been invited to the wedding,anyway.

It's  a strange trip this game of life. I was part of a lot of weddings when we were all younger and getting married. In my close circle of friends I'd say there's been about a 50% success rate. Some are onto #2 by now. Some are just getting used to being single again. There's certainly a big difference between the first wedding and the second. 

[Augie]

4 minutes ago, RaoulDuke79 said:

It's  a strange trip this game of life. I was part of a lot of weddings when we were all younger and getting married. In my close circle of friends I'd say there's been about a 50% success rate. Some are onto #2 by now. Some are just getting used to being single again. There's certainly a big difference between the first wedding and the second. 

 

At my sister’s wedding 40+ years ago all the priest talked about was “why bother, more than half get divorced anyway”. Small wedding, but I think 100% of those  present were appalled. Cranky old goat, that one! He’s probably long dead, she’s still married. He sounded like some of the negative Nancy’s on this board!  

[Doc Brown]

7 hours ago, RaoulDuke79 said:

It's  a strange trip this game of life. I was part of a lot of weddings when we were all younger and getting married. In my close circle of friends I'd say there's been about a 50% success rate. Some are onto #2 by now. Some are just getting used to being single again. There's certainly a big difference between the first wedding and the second. 

I was the best man to a friend at his first two weddings.  He got divorced both times.  When he got married the third time I told him not to even invite me as I'm apparently bad luck.  He did make me a groomsman but not the best man.  He's been married happily for over a decade now.  BTW, preparing for a best man speech sucks.

[BuffaloBill]

14 hours ago, Augie said:

Sorry for your rough times. Sometimes it sucks, but thing happen for a reason, and life unfolds as it’s mean to unfold. Mine wasn’t really even a break up. I was just out of school working at a bank and she was a couple years younger. We had only been together for months, not years, but it was different. I can’t explain it. Anyway, she was scheduled to spend a year in Spain. I knew I’d miss her, but I didn’t know how much. This is before cell phones and Face Time. Gone for a year with an unknown return date. 

 

I assumed she was having a great time and living her life, so I went about mine. It was hard, as it was rough to get her off my mind. During that year I met my wife. Luckiest thing that ever happened to me. Her father had cancer and we got married a little faster  than we might have (a little over a year from meeting) because we weren’t sure if he would last to walk her down the aisle. 

 

The week after I get engaged she returns from Spain and comes to the bank to see me.”My flight just landed and I came straight here.” THAT was an awkward moment! But it turned out to be the best for both of us. She still had to finish school and start her life. She became a sports producer for one of the major networks and met her wildly successful husband while working in Europe. (You might even recognize his name.) And I’ll have my 35th anniversary in February. (The only loser in this might be my wife, but she doesn’t seem to notice, so if you ever meet her, please don’t mention it!  ?)

 

Sometimes you wonder “what if” especially during dark times (and we’ve had some of that), but there is no question this is how it’s supposed to be and I am so thankful. 

 

Give it time....the right thing will happen.

 

.

 

 

I agree with Angie that when in the situation you may not clearly understand why the outcome you are in the midst of is better.  However, with time you see that it is.  

[Gugny]

3 hours ago, I am the egg man said:

Worst breakup ?

 

My 2nd wife. Her 1st, my 2nd marriage. No kids. Mine from 1st lived with their Mom. 

 

Were weekend warriors, closing the old Pink regularly on Fri. & Sat. in the late '80's & '90's.

 

Fun woman. Same height, 6'0", all legs, thin and strong. Could put her back and feet up on an alley wall.

 

Was tough to get over. Hit paydirt 3rd wife. Married 20+ years. At a thin 5'9" she to can do the alley thing.

 

I've  been blessed.

 

I'm shocked that such a romantic man ever had marriage problems!

[The Jokeman]

20 hours ago, plenzmd1 said:

First, dont ever grow up..you will just get old. Ask one who has met me from this board, they  will attest i need to grow up too..and i just give em a big middle finger emoji!

 

2nd ...don't worry bout the family thing..plenty o time for that, trust me. 

 

3RD I"ve been dumped so many times in my past..they all kinda sucked. But looking back prolly all a blessing they dumped me..for both of us!

I agree to a degree on the first statement as me and my fiancee (both in our early 40s) still act a little immature at times yet when we have to we "adult".

 

Agreed, plenty of time to have a family if ultimately you want one.

 

I've had a few relationships that didn't work, the hardest breakup was one when I was fresh out of college as still had a wandering eye but eh in the end the one I eyed  I ended having a  longer friendship than had the one relationship with. Yet now in a lasting relationship with someone different and have no complaints. 

Edited June 12, 2019 by The Jokeman

[thenorthremembers]

Very few things in life dont come with an end to the season.     If you keep looking back at seasons that have come to a natural end, you're going to miss the one that you're in.

 

I forced a marriage with someone because I spent 7 years of my life with her, and ended up divorced after I found out she'd been cheating on me the entire time.   I wasted 7 years because a small part of me thought I should be married to her because she was with me for so long. 

 

When you find the one, the person who will choose you everyday no matter if you need to grow up a bit or not,  marry her.   Generally someone who will stick it out with you will either be the catalyst for your growth, or will grow with you.   

 

I am married to an amazing woman now.   We didnt date for 7 years before we got married, but we have spent 7 years married making a life together.  She has my back good and bad.   She also loves the Bills.  Onward and upward my friend.   The best part about being at the bottom is your trip back to the top!

[row_33]

finally agreed to go out with one who chased me during late high school/early undergrad, after 3 years of her pursuit, what the heck

 

didn't turn out well, i think she was seeing someone else, anyway i broke it off after a few months

 

she was very upset, later called me from her hospital bed to hassle me that she just had a child out of wedlock, well past any of my concern.

 

oh well, that was 28 years ago.

 

 

[Jauronimo]

I don't think I've ever shared this story on TBD.  @Gugny is the only person here that knows, but I think its particularly relevant to this thread so here it goes...

 

When I was 7 years old my whole immediate family, mother, father, sister all died in a freak accident at the fair.  I was spared because I was too scared to go on the tea cups and refused to get on the ride.  After the funeral I was sent to go live with my grandparents.  I was consumed with guilt and extremely sad.  My grandfather sat me down and shared a short story with me from the old country.  He didn't say which old country, but it stuck with me.

 

It was a story about a young boy whose whole family died in a freak accident at the carnival.  His dad, his mom, his three brothers and his little puppy.   The boy, stricken with grief and sadness started to weep upon seeing the carnage.  The townspeople saw the young boy standing there, crying over his dead family. They held him down and sewed a scarlet "P" into his forehead.  He was banished to live on the outskirts of town and whenever he would come into the village to scavenge food scraps or beg, the townspeople would kick him and spit upon his face until the day he died friendless, alone, and scared.

 

The story was called "The Sad Little Pu$$y Boy Who Cried".  

[Gugny]

20 minutes ago, Jauronimo said:

I don't think I've ever shared this story on TBD.  @Gugny is the only person here that knows, but I think its particularly relevant to this thread so here it goes...

 

When I was 7 years old my whole immediate family, mother, father, sister all died in a freak accident at the fair.  I was spared because I was too scared to go on the tea cups and refused to get on the ride.  After the funeral I was sent to go live with my grandparents.  I was consumed with guilt and extremely sad.  My grandfather sat me down and shared a short story with me from the old country.  He didn't say which old country, but it stuck with me.

 

It was a story about a young boy whose whole family died in a freak accident at the carnival.  His dad, his mom, his three brothers and his little puppy.   The boy, stricken with grief and sadness started to weep upon seeing the carnage.  The townspeople saw the young boy standing there, crying over his dead family. They held him down and sewed a scarlet "P" into his forehead.  He was banished to live on the outskirts of town and whenever he would come into the village to scavenge food scraps or beg, the townspeople would kick him and spit upon his face until the day he died friendless, alone, and scared.

 

The story was called "The Sad Little Pu$$y Boy Who Cried".  

 

No matter how many times I hear this story .... it moves me every time.

[K-9]

[Pine Barrens Mafia]

13 minutes ago, Gugny said:

 

No matter how many times I hear this story .... it moves me every time.

 

Sure that's not the stewed prunes?

 

[teef]

33 minutes ago, Jauronimo said:

I don't think I've ever shared this story on TBD.  @Gugny is the only person here that knows, but I think its particularly relevant to this thread so here it goes...

 

When I was 7 years old my whole immediate family, mother, father, sister all died in a freak accident at the fair.  I was spared because I was too scared to go on the tea cups and refused to get on the ride.  After the funeral I was sent to go live with my grandparents.  I was consumed with guilt and extremely sad.  My grandfather sat me down and shared a short story with me from the old country.  He didn't say which old country, but it stuck with me.

 

It was a story about a young boy whose whole family died in a freak accident at the carnival.  His dad, his mom, his three brothers and his little puppy.   The boy, stricken with grief and sadness started to weep upon seeing the carnage.  The townspeople saw the young boy standing there, crying over his dead family. They held him down and sewed a scarlet "P" into his forehead.  He was banished to live on the outskirts of town and whenever he would come into the village to scavenge food scraps or beg, the townspeople would kick him and spit upon his face until the day he died friendless, alone, and scared.

 

The story was called "The Sad Little Pu$$y Boy Who Cried".  

i've heard disney is turning this into a movie.

[Royale with Cheese]

My senior year in college.  A girl I met and had been with for a while cheated on me.  We were supposed to move back to my home town and get married....awwwwww!

But instead, she had another man doing the horizontal mambo with her.   Oh well, she had to pay for her own engagement ring because the jewelry store wouldn't but it in my name because I didn't have enough established credit.  We had to put it in her name.....

 

She actually texted me a few months later and said I agree to pay for the ring......oh snap! 

[Gugny]

5 minutes ago, Royale with Cheese said:

My senior year in college.  A girl I met and had been with for a while cheated on me.  We were supposed to move back to my home town and get married....awwwwww!

But instead, she had another man doing the horizontal mambo with her.   Oh well, she had to pay for her own engagement ring because the jewelry store wouldn't but it in my name because I didn't have enough established credit.  We had to put it in her name.....

 

She actually texted me a few months later and said I agree to pay for the ring......oh snap! 

 

So she couldn't do the alley thing?

[Royale with Cheese]

Just now, Gugny said:

 

So she couldn't do the alley thing?

 

She could do it all.

[row_33]