Pathetic Youth Sports Stories

[Needle]

I am a parent of a 7, 4, and 3 year old. I have been warned for years about the ridiculous intensity of kids to high school sports today. I played a few sports as a kid up through highschool. I spent most days playing games in the neighborhood. We invented quite a few games as well. I'm 39 years old and I would guess most of you around my age and older have similar experiences.

 

I have no clue about today's world. 

 

I was blown away by something I heard from a friend last week. I told him my daughter is into soccer right now and she has been playing for a couple of seasons. She scores most games and is really confident on the field. This is low skill 7 year old soccer. She hustles and never stops running but that's all you need at this level. My friend told me his 8 year old got cut from the travel team tryouts last year. I said no big deal, she has a whole lifetime of soccer if she is into it. He said that as they were walking off the field on cutdown day he heard the coach say to the 8 year olds....."look at the faces around you, this is your varsity team". I laughed and said the guy has to be the biggest douchebag ever. He told me point blank that I was wrong and they were going to try another sport!

 

The conversation blew me away. Does anyone else have any interesting stories of youth sports? Good or bad?

[SDS]

 I have more youth soccer stories than you can shake a stick at. I have been heavily involved with my kids careers the last 12 years from rec to the highest travel level. 

 

 The two people you reference in your story know absolutely nothing about youth development. At that young age it’s all about early birthdays and early bloomers. I can tell you once they get to be around age 14 to 15 the talent range compresses significantly. The late bloomers eventually figure it out and the early bloomers were never truly anything special other than being older and well an early bloomer. 

[Augie]

My son used to play up 1-2 years in travel league soccer until they made that against the rules. Not much older than your daughter. OK, so he went to tryouts for his age group, only to be told he didn’t make it. You see, they already had a group that had played together  2-3 years, and you couldn’t crack that group. We were flabbergasted as he was one of the top 3 kids playing up. 

 

We called the coach and raised some valid points, but didn’t want to be “those parents“.  Apparently someone else with more clout in the league also questioned the decision. He was invited back for a couple more practices. He was their MVP that year, and was first team all area in HS. Could have played in college. 

 

At that level clowns who know little are often in charge. They pick their buddies kids, and last years team is generally next years team. Want a GOOD team? Make every kid earn it every year. 

 

Having said ALL THAT.....It’s kids playing a game. Looking back I’m appalled at how seriously everybody took things. Ourselves included, until we started seeing the light. 

 

 

. 

Edited May 8, 2019 by Augie

[KD in CA]

I know almost nothing about soccer but will be coaching my 8 year old twins again in the fall.  We had a fun time last year with all their buddies, but two of the better girls are dropping out this year to try out for the 'competitive' or 'developmental' league.  It's all good as long as there is an outlet for the non-douche, non-I live vicariously through kids sports crowd.

[Augie]

13 minutes ago, SDS said:

 I have more youth soccer stories than you can shake a stick at. I have been heavily involved with my kids careers the last 12 years from rec to the highest travel level. 

 

 The two people you reference in your story know absolutely nothing about youth development. At that young age it’s all about early birthdays and early bloomers. I can tell you once they get to be around age 14 to 15 the talent range compresses significantly. The late bloomers eventually figure it out and the early bloomers were never truly anything special other than being older and well an early bloomer. 

 

Oh, ain’t THAT the truth! There was always the big kid in rec league hoops whose parent’s though he was the next LeBron! By HS they are lucky to get past JV. 

 

Also, having an older brother plays a real part. Our son had a brother 3.5 years older. He was used to competing with him, and ALL his friends. Being a competitive little bugger, he saw NO reason he should ever lose......and he rarely did. He would not have been the same athlete in any sport had he not grown up competing against kids he should have had no business with. We have a video (wife recently did the Legacy Box thing) of the little one wrestling against the older son’s buddy. The buddy started out laughing about how silly and easy this was going to be, but was near tears by the end. I’m laughing just typing this! 

[Augie]

28 minutes ago, KD in CA said:

I know almost nothing about soccer but will be coaching my 8 year old twins again in the fall.  We had a fun time last year with all their buddies, but two of the better girls are dropping out this year to try out for the 'competitive' or 'developmental' league.  It's all good as long as there is an outlet for the non-douche, non-I live vicariously through kids sports crowd.

 

A kid from my other son’s AAU hoops team was playing my kid’s 8th grade team. He came up to my son pre-game and said “I don’t even know you!” My kid was taken aback by such “jerkiness ”, but went out and had a nice game. He did um......prevent his “buddy” from dunking (in the 8th grade!) on a breakaway without getting a tech, robbing the giant roar. 

 

I went up to his dad after the game and he explained “my son is like Lebron, he’s the reason people are here to watch this game!” Wow?  Really? He was normally a decent guy, and I was shocked. His son was really good, but not THAT good. He played at Wake Forest, but never had a shot at making money playing. He was just lost in the delusion. 

 

 

. 

Edited May 8, 2019 by Augie

[Misterbluesky]

I coached baseball for years...the kids were great,the parents were the pain in the asses.

I had 14 kids one year(Southline Baseball)..a mother screamed at me after a game because her son played just one inning. "We came in from our cottage on Lime Lake for that?" .I didn't have the courage to tell her that her son is simply not cut out for the sport.The following year..girls were allowed in the league..I quit.

[Augie]

My son was like 14 years old and reffing the 6 year olds rec hoops league. The kids don’t even know when to dribble, or what the lines on the floor mean. He’s trying to teach them, blowing the whistle as needed. Some 45 year old coach/dad is SERIOUSLY worked up. My 14 year old has to T him up, before eventually booting him. A 14 year old has to DQ a 45 year old crazy man. If you’ve never seen this world, you would be SHOCKED! 

 

 

...and I’m sure dismayed. 

[BritBill]

I was a product of the youth set up of a professional soccer club here in England as a teenager and also represented my city as in the schoolboys (the best players from schools in the York area).

 

Man, I loved it for the first 3 years. Top level coaching twice a week. Travelling the country playing games on a weekend and the team we had were a great, tight knit bunch with whom I'm still friends with these days. 

 

However, I fell out of love with it all at the age of 16. It became more of a cattle market scenario the closer it got to it being decided if you were to become a professional at the club. The individual coaching stopped and the club quickly stopped caring once it was clear I wasn't going to be a professional (I just wasn't good enough). 

 

I could have easily made some money from the game playing semi-pro but the desire to do so had gone. 

 

My boy is now 8. We took him down to the local grass roots club I played at for some training sessions a couple of years ago. I was set watching him and his team mates train when another of the parents sat next to me shaking his head and he said "our lad is never going to make it". I just looked at him and said "but he's having fun?" 

 

A few sessions later we were walking back to the car and my son whispered to me "Dad, I don't want to go football training anymore". His poor little face. I had a feeling he'd wanted to tell me for a while but was building his confidence to tell me. 

 

Oh and a story for you all. As i mentioned above I represented my city. There were also trial to play for my county. I wasn't that bothered about this as I was already playing 2/3 games a week plus training. However, I wanted to go for my coach who was a good man and was proud of his team.

 

I did alright in the trial but nothing special. I wasn't picked to represent the county but a few of my city team mates were. After the first game they played they told me they were in the changing rooms before the game and the coach of the county team did the pre-match team talk with no clothing on the bottom half of his body. Had his wang out. 

 

For some reason, they struggled to get a squad of 11 players for the next game. This coach phoned my Dad up to see if I wanted a chance to play.My old man didn't snap very often but he did on that phone call. 

 

I wasn't surprised when there was a flood of child abuse in soccer scandals a couple of years ago. Child safety is unrecognizable these days though. The only problems seems to be the parents. 

[row_33]

My youth soccer years....

 

my years were dominated by a team owned by a sponsor who claimed an interesting path as a soldier of fortune and wrote a series of books on how to kill people (available through means  like the Amok Catalogue....)

 

he made sure to protect his dynasty through the handful of years by keeping the same kids and moving sponsorship as they aged 

 

I was a decent goalie and also had a knack for scoring goals and when I was placed on an Italian-based team, that only spoke Italian, I was benched without reason. My father lost it, in an undignified argument that didn’t escalate, after the second benching and my youth career was over. It was good he stood up for me.

 

 

 

[BeginnersMind]

I wouldn’t take back a minute of coaching travel soccer. But without a doubt, the best part was the practices and the worst part were the games. The parents on both sides are tough. Luckily I got the majority of our team young and got some good advice. 

 

We we had a parent only meeting each season and through some good humor but also honesty, set forth a list of parent expectations. The first year required that we revisit it from time to time but after that, we established a baseline culture that the parents passed on to each new family. 

 

Our biggest rules were:

 

1) Criticize no one. Not the other team. Not the parents. Not the ref. Not the coaches. 

2) Cheer good play of your team and compliment good play of the other. We are building up all kids and our future community.

3) No coaching from the sidelines. None.  

4) If someone breaks 1-3, call them on it. 

 

I think the worst thing we would ever have happen was the occasional “come on ref.” 

Edited May 8, 2019 by BeginnersMind

[oldmanfan]

Two stories come to mind for me, both involving my older daughter. 

 

One was when she was in first grade, playing on a T ball softball team.  I helped coach.  One game day I noticed one of the kids wasn't there, so I asked the head coach what was up.  He told me she was on the travel team and wouldn't be there.   You heard that right, a travel team for first graders for T ball.  Travel team for 5 and 6 year olds. 

 

The second was when she was in sixth grade.  She was playing club volleyball and was being groomed to be a setter for the high school team. She was going to play for the school team in seventh grade.  She also had been in the school musical, and wanted to be in it in seventh grade; she thought she'd be one of the leads.  Problem was there was about a two week overlap between the musical an the beginning of volleyball practice.   What was she told:  that at 12 years old she had to choose between music and volleyball.  Pisses me off to this day that two teachers couldn't figure it out.  She chose the musical, and it probably was a good choice as she is now a professional performer.  But still, when I was in school somehow we managed to play different sports, work a part time job, do school work, etc.  And it worked out fine.

[RaoulDuke79]

9 hours ago, Needle said:

I am a parent of a 7, 4, and 3 year old. I have been warned for years about the ridiculous intensity of kids to high school sports today. I played a few sports as a kid up through highschool. I spent most days playing games in the neighborhood. We invented quite a few games as well. I'm 39 years old and I would guess most of you around my age and older have similar experiences.

 

I have no clue about today's world. 

 

I was blown away by something I heard from a friend last week. I told him my daughter is into soccer right now and she has been playing for a couple of seasons. She scores most games and is really confident on the field. This is low skill 7 year old soccer. She hustles and never stops running but that's all you need at this level. My friend told me his 8 year old got cut from the travel team tryouts last year. I said no big deal, she has a whole lifetime of soccer if she is into it. He said that as they were walking off the field on cutdown day he heard the coach say to the 8 year olds....."look at the faces around you, this is your varsity team". I laughed and said the guy has to be the biggest douchebag ever. He told me point blank that I was wrong and they were going to try another sport!

 

The conversation blew me away. Does anyone else have any interesting stories of youth sports? Good or bad?

My daughter is 9 and has been playing soccer for several years. She made the travel team last year after not making the cut initially. When she finally did make the team she was one of the less skilled players. I'm probably a little biased, but she has made great strides,  and is now one of the stronger girls on the squad. At this stage of the game I have three main takeaways. 

 

1. You're friend is doing a huge disservice to his daughter not only in soccer, but life in general by just giving up and quitting after not making the cut one time.

 

2. There are a lot of politics that are apparent even at an early age with regards to who knows who, who coaches, who serves on which committee. 

 

3. Damn.....who would have known how much money youth sports cost. 

[\GoBillsInDallas/]

 

[BeginnersMind]

16 minutes ago, \GoBillsInDallas/ said:

 

 

I showed this at our annual preseason parent meeting. We all had to pick who each parent was most like in the brawl. Brought some levity and perspective. 

 

Sports is about winning. But the boundaries around winning are safety and sportsmanship (for fans, refs, and players). The minute those are pierced, the game is over. My families all knew that. 

 

Our travel team instituted a minimum play requirement but that was a personal philosophy that until age 14 or so, you have to give all of them a chance to play otherwise it’s just the early growth spurt kids who dominate. This made us play down probably one division from where we could have if we benched some kids but I’d argue it was much better for us as a team. Every kid bought into every practice and our team spirit was much better for it. The better kids often played more but no kid played less than half a game.

Edited May 8, 2019 by BeginnersMind

[Augie]

21 minutes ago, BeginnersMind said:

 

I showed this at our annual preseason parent meeting. We all had to pick who each parent was most like in the brawl. Brought some levity and perspective. 

 

Sports is about winning. But the boundaries around winning are safety and sportsmanship (for fans, refs, and players). The minute those are pierced, the game is over. My families all knew that. 

 

Our travel team instituted a minimum play requirement but that was a personal philosophy that until age 14 or so, you have to give all of them a chance to play otherwise it’s just the early growth spurt kids who dominate. This made us play down probably one division from where we could have if we benched some kids but I’d argue it was much better for us as a team. Every kid bought into every practice and our team spirit was much better for it. The better kids often played more but no kid played less than half a game.

While coaching my son’s rec league hoops team there was a formula for how much each kid would play. Near the end of a close game, the opposing coach kept his son, the designated scorer, in too long. Maybe he thought we wouldn’t notice. If so, he was wrong. I calmly approached him afterward and pointed out what he’d done. He admitted he knew what he was doing, pointed to the rest of the team and said “hey, look at them. What was I supposed to do?”

 

WHAT? Well, maybe don’t put down every kid on the team who’s not your son right in front of them? You could also plan ahead a little better, so your kid IS IN at the end. But how about don’t teach the kids that it’s OK to cheat. I was calm about it. Our assistant coach lit into him as I was leaving the gym. I was fine with that. 

 

Parents can be crazy! 

[shrader]

I went to my 8 year old nephew's baseball game last week while we were up in Boston.  It's very much a beginner league.  When a team is in the field, their coach calls the balls and strikes.  The weather that day was horribly, rainy and cold.  For some reason they decided to play even though they had to relocate to a grassy area because the diamond was unplayable.  Thanks to those conditions, pretty much no one got a hit all game.  It was 0-0 going into the last inning.  Somehow the nephew's team managed to load up the bases with only one out.  The other team's coach decided to call every single pitch a strike once that happened.  The last kid up was a beginner who barely even knew how to hold a bat.  He struck out on a called 3rd strike that was about a foot above his head.  The kids really didn't care who won or lost (neither team did that day), but you're never going to learn the game with that coach out there.

 

 

This other story isn't really a bad one, it just makes me laugh.  I'm not a basketball guy.  I never watch a second of it, but I'll hear the chatter about players.  I've never really understood the common one I hear about certain highly rated young players who can't shoot.  I would have thought that would be the thing they'd focus on the most.  Then I started working out at a local YMCA.  It had their treadmill area on a balcony that overlooked a basketball court.  So I'd see a bunch of youth games/practices while up there.  A bunch of these kids (up to maybe the early teenage years) would be out there doing a bunch of crazy dribbling moves.  Most of the time it looked like they were trying to humiliate the defender.  Then they'd pull up and take a shot... air ball.  Now I totally get it.

[BeginnersMind]

31 minutes ago, Augie said:

While coaching my son’s rec league hoops team there was a formula for how much each kid would play. Near the end of a close game, the opposing coach kept his son, the designated scorer, in too long. Maybe he thought we wouldn’t notice. If so, he was wrong. I calmly approached him afterward and pointed out what he’d done. He admitted he knew what he was doing, pointed to the rest of the team and said “hey, look at them. What was I supposed to do?”

 

WHAT? Well, maybe don’t put down every kid on the team who’s not your son right in front of them? You could also plan ahead a little better, so your kid IS IN at the end. But how about don’t teach the kids that it’s OK to cheat. I was calm about it. Our assistant coach lit into him as I was leaving the gym. I was fine with that. 

 

Parents can be crazy! 

 

In my first few games coaching, I did this once breaking my own time policy. Frankly, I got into some game and so did my assistant (a mom). After the game, a parent, who has since become a close family friend, approached me and noted it. 

 

I apologized to the parents in an email and also the team (8-year olds...yes it was an idiot moment for sure). I never did that again. But a lot of credit goes to that dad for calling me on my bad judgment. We need more of that—he made me a better person.

[Needle]

3 hours ago, RaoulDuke79 said:

My daughter is 9 and has been playing soccer for several years. She made the travel team last year after not making the cut initially. When she finally did make the team she was one of the less skilled players. I'm probably a little biased, but she has made great strides,  and is now one of the stronger girls on the squad. At this stage of the game I have three main takeaways. 

 

1. You're friend is doing a huge disservice to his daughter not only in soccer, but life in general by just giving up and quitting after not making the cut one time.

 

2. There are a lot of politics that are apparent even at an early age with regards to who knows who, who coaches, who serves on which committee. 

 

3. Damn.....who would have known how much money youth sports cost. 

I agree with all three of your points. I played in travel baseball as a kid but it wasn't the type of traveling kids do today. In my opinion the travel sports at a young age are too much. I have to believe that most areas can field competitive enough teams without having to go all over the country. Kids really don't need to live out of a hotel for youth soccer. It is costly and a strain on family time in my opinion. In addition to that I have 3 kids, I don't mind making personal sacrifices but I'm not going to make one child sacrifice for another's travel sports. 

 

I have another buddy who has a 10 year old son that plays baseball. The kid is a good player and loves the game. My friend is the parent who lives for this kids baseball, which is fine because right now the boy loves it. He literally plays in multiple leagues all year long. He meets with a hitting instructor a couple times a week. The newest league was an invite only tryout for a private team with a full time coaching staff. The requirements for this league are 1. Make the team 2. Pony up $6,000 and pay for all traveling 3. Quit all other teams. 

 

The kid isn't allowed to play with his friends anymore and my buddy is never home. He admitted to me that he has missed massive amounts of time with his younger daughter and put a little financial strain on the family for baseball.

 

Insanity to me

 

[Needle]

13 hours ago, SDS said:

 I have more youth soccer stories than you can shake a stick at. I have been heavily involved with my kids careers the last 12 years from rec to the highest travel level. 

 

 The two people you reference in your story know absolutely nothing about youth development. At that young age it’s all about early birthdays and early bloomers. I can tell you once they get to be around age 14 to 15 the talent range compresses significantly. The late bloomers eventually figure it out and the early bloomers were never truly anything special other than being older and well an early bloomer. 

I would imagine that it can be a lot of fun especially if the kids are close in age or even playing together. The family is together and invested the same thing. I would imagine it doesn't work for other families with different dynamics, different finances, or different career requirements.