A Quick Laugh to Get By

[WhoTom]

I'm not sure if this is a laugh or a cry, but ...

 

[WhoTom]

[Marv's Neighbor]

Worldwide virus reactions;

 

“The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent virus threat and have therefore raised their threat level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, level may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.”
The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.

The virus has been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let's Get the Bastard.” They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Mash more Grapes and Drink more wine”

The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.”

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from “No worries” to “She'll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

The Russians have said “Its not us”

The Irish have quarantined themselves in the pubs .....Again..!!

[ChevyVanMiller]

[ChevyVanMiller]

[Foxx]

 

 

 

 

[WhoTom]

[Foxx]

[Foxx]

 

[WhoTom]

 

[Chandler#81]

[Hapless Bills Fan]

6 minutes ago, Chandler#81 said:

 

I'm tempted to steal this and repost!

[Chandler#81]

[Hapless Bills Fan]

Punctuation matters!

[Augie]

3 minutes ago, Hapless Bills Fan said:

Punctuation matters!

 

So.....about a billion years ago at Casey Middle School our english teacher taught us the importance of punctuation with two sentences on the board. 

 

1) Let’s eat, Steve.

 

2) Let’s eat Steve. 

 

Steve cares about that subtle nuance. 

 

[Hapless Bills Fan]

1 hour ago, Augie said:

 

So.....about a billion years ago at Casey Middle School our english teacher taught us the importance of punctuation with two sentences on the board. 

 

1) Let’s eat, Steve.

 

2) Let’s eat Steve. 

 

Steve cares about that subtle nuance. 

 

 

I learned it with "Steve" replaced by "Grandma"

[ChevyVanMiller]

[T&C]

[Ridgewaycynic2013]

14 minutes ago, T&C said:

If you accept the probable scientific assumptions regarding what Jesus of Nazareth looked like, I have the feeling he (He, if you’re a purist) would have been referred to secondary inspection by CBP.

[Chandler#81]