A Quick Laugh to Get By

[qwksilver]

13 hours ago, Simon said:

 

I think that's supposed to be "tulips" 

Yes but by version is waaaayyyy better.

[gdabillsfan]

A young American businessman is in Japan on his 1st overseas trip to close a deal with his Japaneese counterpart. The next day the deal would be consummated over 18 holes of golf. He was so confident that everything would go well, he decided he would indulge himself at the Geisha house the night before. He found himself with the most beautiful girl, except she did not speak any English. As he engaged with her in *****, he could hear her softly moan and say hi shu, hi shu over and over again. He was very satisfied with his performance, and thought to himself that he must of been phenomenal with this girl for her to cheer him on like that.

The next day on the golf course, when he was golfing with his counterpart, the Japaneese man teed off and hit a great shot, it was a hole in one. Wanting to impress his counterpart with the new found phrase he learned the night before, he excitedly exclaimed hi shu, hi shu. At that point the Japaneese man turned to him and said "what you mean wrong hole"

[Patrick Duffy]

2 blonde girls car breaks down. So have to make a long walk to get to town. While walking a while they see a large field that has an abandoned row boat near the tree line.

 

One says to other..."hey, if we get in that boat we can get to town faster"....Other blonde responds..."You stupid ass b*t*h....If you think I'm gona swim all the way through that field"....

[gdabillsfan]

A young and very religious couple were on their honeymoon, and we're ready to engage in sex, but both of them were too embarrassed to be so blunt, and decided to say they were going to do the laundry. Unfortunately, they had an argument right before, and the bride stormed out of the room. After a few minutes she was ready to make up, and came in the room and asked her husband if he was ready to do the laundry, when he replied no thanks I already did it by hand.

[gdabillsfan]

Channeling Henney Youngman:

 

A giraffe walks into a bar. The bartender says whatta you have. The giraffe says a long neck. The bartender says I know but what are you drinking.

 

I live in a terrible neighborhood, the other day I saw two peanuts walking down the street, one was a salted.

 

A man goes in a restaurant and asks the host is the steak tender here. The host says yes and seats the man at a table

A termite comes in and asks the host is the bar tender here.

 

A horse comes into a bar. The bartender says hey fella why the long face

[ChevyVanMiller]

[ChevyVanMiller]

[ChevyVanMiller]

Your local tax dollars hard at work...

[Pete]

On 10/2/2021 at 7:32 AM, ChevyVanMiller said:

back to back laughs- thank you sir!

 

[WhoTom]

57 minutes ago, ChevyVanMiller said:

Your local tax dollars hard at work...

 

"They'll need it to get around this sign."

[Greg S]

[Warcodered]

 

[Greg S]

[Hapless Bills Fan]

[Hapless Bills Fan]

[WhoTom]

14 hours ago, Hapless Bills Fan said:

 

That reminds me of a time when we were on an interstate on-ramp and the car in the right lane refused to move over, even though there was nobody in the left lane nearby. I had to brake to get in behind her, and that's when we noticed a WWJD sticker on the back. My wife muttered, "Jesus would have let us merge, you b****."

 

 

[LeGOATski]

1 minute ago, WhoTom said:

 

That reminds me of a time when we were on an interstate on-ramp and the car in the right lane refused to move over, even though there was nobody in the left lane nearby. I had to brake to get in behind her, and that's when we noticed a WWJD sticker on the back. My wife muttered, "Jesus would have let us merge, you b****."

 

 

My FIL is one of those. He thinks you need to stay in the right lane at all times. He doesn't go 1 mph over the speed limit, usually slower, and happily clogs the merging lane. I try not to ever drive with him.

[ChevyVanMiller]

[ChevyVanMiller]

[Greg S]