A Quick Laugh to Get By

[ExiledInIllinois]

[muppy]

[muppy]

[muppy]

[muppy]

😏

[muppy]

😉

[qwksilver]

[Saxum]

On 4/14/2023 at 10:37 AM, Gregg said:

 

Easy to tell - one with most plastic surgery.

[WhoTom]

[muppy]

inspired by a recent OTW thread @teef

 

lol

[muppy]

 

Edited April 25, 2023 by muppy

[muppy]

[muppy]

[muppy]

[muppy]

😲

[muppy]

OMG LMAO

 

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for more than three decades she had “charged” him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, “If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!”

That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut!

[Fleezoid]

23 minutes ago, muppy said:

OMG LMAO

 

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for more than three decades she had “charged” him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, “If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!”

That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut!

 

My ex-wife did that. We divorced after 4 years. She felt guilty charging me for sex so she returned the money. Can't imagine what I'm gonna do with that 40 bucks.

[WhoTom]

A Mexican magician told the audience that he'd disappear on the count of three. He began, "Uno, dos ..." and POOF - he disappeared without a tres.

 

 

[ChevyVanMiller]

From the files of misheard song lyrics.

[ExiledInIllinois]