WhoTom Posted April 14, 2020 Posted April 14, 2020 35 minutes ago, Hapless Bills Fan said: #DadJokes 1 Quote
Talley56 Posted April 14, 2020 Posted April 14, 2020 Did you guys hear about the kidnapping today? Everything is okay now, the kid woke up. 4 Quote
Hapless Bills Fan Posted April 14, 2020 Posted April 14, 2020 57 minutes ago, WhoTom said: #DadJokes Oh, NOW you're for it! Don't spell part backwards........ ................................It's a trap. _________________________________________________ Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink. _________________________________________________ Do you know the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are a a buck ninety nine, but Deer nuts are under a buck! _________________________________________________ I saw an ad for burial plots I thought "this is the last thing I need!" __________________________________________________ I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but it doesn't matter none of them work. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do the French eat snails? They don't like fast food. ____________________________________________________ What would happen if a short psychic broke out of jail? You'd have a small medium at large! ______________________________________________________ 40 minutes ago, Talley56 said: Did you guys hear about the kidnapping today? Everything is okay now, the kid woke up. If the kid refused to sleep during nap time, would he be guilty of resisting a rest? 1 4 Quote
Warcodered Posted April 15, 2020 Posted April 15, 2020 23 minutes ago, Hapless Bills Fan said: Oh, NOW you're for it! Don't spell part backwards........ ................................It's a trap. _________________________________________________ Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink. _________________________________________________ Do you know the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are a a buck ninety nine, but Deer nuts are under a buck! _________________________________________________ I saw an ad for burial plots I thought "this is the last thing I need!" __________________________________________________ I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but it doesn't matter none of them work. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do the French eat snails? They don't like fast food. ____________________________________________________ What would happen if a short psychic broke out of jail? You'd have a small medium at large! ______________________________________________________ If the kid refused to sleep during nap time, would he be guilty of resisting a rest? We clearly need a groan reaction. 1 2 Quote
Simon Posted April 15, 2020 Posted April 15, 2020 39 minutes ago, Warcodered said: We clearly need a groan reaction. Don't worry, I just reported Hapless for Abusive Behavior.... 5 Quote
Hapless Bills Fan Posted April 15, 2020 Posted April 15, 2020 1 hour ago, Simon said: Don't worry, I just reported Hapless for Abusive Behavior.... ? Plenty more where that came from, just waiting for someone to #DadJokes hashtag me again...... Quote
Hapless Bills Fan Posted April 15, 2020 Posted April 15, 2020 5 hours ago, WhoTom said: #DadJokes Hehehehe 1 4 Quote
Blokestradamus Posted April 15, 2020 Posted April 15, 2020 8 hours ago, Hapless Bills Fan said: Hehehehe That is so bad and I love you for it. 1 Quote
WhoTom Posted April 15, 2020 Posted April 15, 2020 A three-legged dog walks into a saloon and says, "I'm lookin' fer the guy that shot my paw." A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!" #DadJokes 2 Quote
Chandler#81 Posted April 18, 2020 Posted April 18, 2020 I never wanted to, but the missus kept complaining that I NEEDED to.. Quote
DaBillsFanSince1973 Posted April 18, 2020 Posted April 18, 2020 (edited) Leave it to Cheers to do something almost 30 years ago that is funny and spot on in today’s world !!!! Edited April 18, 2020 by DaBillsFanSince1973 11 1 Quote
Hapless Bills Fan Posted April 18, 2020 Posted April 18, 2020 The lions don't sleep tonight during covid-19 lockdown. The lions sleep during broad daylight, in the middle of the road: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EVqAXZbXQAgLFHx?format=jpg&name=medium Quote
T&C Posted April 19, 2020 Posted April 19, 2020 A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, 'What is this Father?' The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son,I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.' While the boy and his father were watching with amazement,a fat old lady in a motorized cart moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. The doors opened and a young blonde stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son..... 'Go get your Mother' 2 9 Quote
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