ChevyVanMiller Posted January 27, 2023 Posted January 27, 2023 38 minutes ago, muppy said: hahahaa   This cartoon reminded me of a poem I wrote a few years back.  The Checkout Line  I saw you in the checkout line, Your items looked a lot like mine The fruit in your cart was bruised, The stems broken, the peels abused. You looked at me then away, In what passes as "Hi" today Your smile was cool like winter ice, Something there made me look twice Things moved along on the belt, Something was odd or so I felt You put no divider down, Just looked at me and stood your ground The sign said "Ten Items or Less," I counted 100 I must confess, A candy heart the cashier scanned, Then 99 glue tubes fell from your hand You'd pieced it all back together, The broken heart inside of Heather, The screen blinked out a final price, But you'd paid in another life I reached to my hip to pay the bill, As the sun streamed over the windowsill And thought of her eyes sweet like wine, The girl I met in the checkout line 1 Quote
DrW Posted January 27, 2023 Posted January 27, 2023 Inspired by the discussion on the main board about defensive coordinators, I remembered an incident of German soccer lore. Around the end of the 1960's, a German evangelist had a country-wide campaign with a poster stating "An Jesus kommt keiner vorbei", translated as "No one can get past Jesus". After a few days, some of the posters had been defaced by a comment scribbled on: "Ausser Libuda" ("except for Libuda"). Libuda was a German soccer player known for his dribbling skills. His nickname was "Stan" Libuda, named after the great English soccer icon Sir Stanley Matthews. Quote
muppy Posted January 28, 2023 Posted January 28, 2023 (edited) oh SNAP lmaooo @leh-nerd skin-erd Quote A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, "I've had enough and have left you...don't bother coming after me" Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction. After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom. She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone. "She's finally gone...yeah I know, about bloody time, I'm coming to see you, put on that sexy French nightie. I love you...can't wait to see you...we'll do all the naughty things you like." He hung up, grabbed his keys and left. She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed, seething with rage and with tears in her eyes. She grabbed the note to see what he wrote. "I can see your feet. We're outta bread; be back in five minutes." Â Edited January 28, 2023 by muppy 1 Quote
leh-nerd skin-erd Posted January 28, 2023 Posted January 28, 2023 1 hour ago, muppy said: oh SNAP lmaooo @leh-nerd skin-erd  🤣 1 Quote
DrW Posted January 28, 2023 Posted January 28, 2023 The German president during the 1960s was Heinrich Lübke. He was a very simple guy, sometimes even clumsy; his wife, Wilhelmine, had a much stronger personality. Fortunately, the German president's role is to "meet and greet"; he/she has no serious political function. There is a boatload of stories about Lübke's blunders, some true, some obviously invented.  True: On a visit to Madagascar, he addressed the wife of the president as "Mrs Tananarive" - Tananarive is the French spelling for Madagascar's capital, not the name of the president.  Of questionable origin: He supposedly started a speech in Cameroon with "Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Negroes".  Obviously invented (the Summer Olympics in Munich took place in 1972; Lübke's presidency had ended in 1969), but still funny: At the opening ceremony of the Olympics, Lübke addresses the audience, reading from notes that he had scribbled on official stationery: "Ladies and Gentlemen, oh...oh...oh...oh..." when his wife Wilhelmine interrupts him: "Heinrich, that are the olympic rings..." 1 Quote
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