Special K Posted March 12 Posted March 12 Saw a New York comedian talking about the difference between Chicago and New York.....he said: In Chicago, they're proud of things they shouldn't be proud of.....they named their Soccer team the Chicago Fire.....who names their sports teams after tragedies??? It would be like New York naming their football team the New York 9/11's!!!....No, we named them the Jets!!!....We name our teams after tragedies that haven't happened yet....that's confidence right there!!🤣 1 Quote
ChevyVanMiller Posted March 15 Posted March 15 Happy Ides of March everyone. Keep your head on a swivel. 2 3 Quote
ChevyVanMiller Posted March 16 Posted March 16 Directly after bringing this in for show and tell, Mark was sent to the school psychiatrist for evaluation. 1 Quote
Steve O Posted March 16 Posted March 16 The Dog’s Diary 8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 PM – Milk bones! My favorite thing! 1:00 PM – Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 PM – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 PM – Dinner! My favorite thing! 7:00 PM – Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 PM – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 PM – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! The Cat’s Diary Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He has obviously gone mad. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now. 3 4 Quote
Fleezoid Posted March 18 Posted March 18 On 3/16/2025 at 11:14 AM, Steve O said: The Dog’s Diary 8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 PM – Milk bones! My favorite thing! 1:00 PM – Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 PM – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 PM – Dinner! My favorite thing! 7:00 PM – Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 PM – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 PM – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! The Cat’s Diary Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He has obviously gone mad. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now. I read the Cat's Diary in Stewie's voice. Totally worked for me. 2 1 Quote
ChevyVanMiller Posted March 18 Posted March 18 Admit it, you just did it and are amazed that it’s spot on. 1 1 Quote
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