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Posted

Why do they ask me to press 1 for English, when they are going to transfer me to someone who i can't understand.

I just realized that Old age is coming at a bad time. When I was a teenager all I wanted was a car, allowance, no curfew, no school or work and my own pad. I got that now, and the woman I hang around with can't get pregnant.

 

Today I didn't go to the gym. That makes 5 years in a row.

The biggest lie I tell myself is I don't have to write that down, I will remember. 

 

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Posted
2 hours ago, Chandler#81 said:

Finally agreed to let my granddaughter go to the beach with her friends..

CFD6B72F-629F-4519-BF65-A1BDEB5D1047.jpeg

 

Just wait until she comes back from the beach with an S&M fetish.

 

 

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Posted

Wild turkeys can fly so he was correct. 

Idiot marketing director Herb got wrong type.

 

Dropping wild turkeys in Thanksgiving game in Dallass is a great idea.

 

Wild Turkey American Honey Bourbon Whiskey would be perfect complement to the half time show.

Posted

What happens if you get scared half to death.....twice

 

This is my step ladder...never knew my real ladder

 

Following reading too many posts by Chef Jim😀, I checked into the Hokey Pokey Clinic, .......... and turned myself around.😁

 

In the word "scent" is the s or c silent.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted
48 minutes ago, Niagara Bill said:

What happens if you get scared half to death.....twice

 

 

 

There's an old joke about a guy who is granted three wishes by a genie but the catch is his ex-wife gets twice whatever asks for. His third wish is to be beaten half to death.

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