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Posted

 

Oldie but a goodie.

 

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic?

 

 

Someone who stays awake all night wondering if there is a dog.

 

 

 

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Posted

I had a rose named after me and I was flattered until I read the description. 

No good in bed but fine against the wall.

Eleanor Roosevelt

 

The secret of a good sermon is a good beginning and good ending and have the two be as close as possible.

 

George Burns

Posted
1 hour ago, Limeaid said:

 

 

Would be funnier if turkeys had teeth.

 

As God is my witness, I thought turkeys had teef!

 

 

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Posted
10 minutes ago, Simon said:

 

As God is my witness, I thought turkeys had teef!

 

 

I had no idea your real name was Richard Sanders!  (Colonel Sanders I may have guessed)

 

 

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Posted
3 hours ago, Warcodered said:

So perusing YouTube I've randomly discovered the source.

 

With that kind of "perusing" I might suggest you clear your browser history and for good measure, spray bleach on your hard drive.

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Posted
4 hours ago, Warcodered said:

So perusing YouTube I've randomly discovered the source.

 

Reported.

Account suspended.

Lazer equipped drone dispatched to your general location.

These 🔽 dispatched to your door.

image.jpeg.48cdfadb2637a8b65719d3d92ef49bc0.jpeg

Posted

So a man is on his way home from work and he stops to buy a bouquet of roses for his lovely wife.

 

He walks in the door and hands the flowers over to his bride with a big smile on his face.

 

Snidely, his wife says “Great, now I guess I have to spread my legs.”

 

The man replies “Don’t you have a vase or something?”

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