Ol Dirty B Posted March 29, 2019 Posted March 29, 2019 (edited) Hey everyone. I know I'm not the greatest poster at times, totally get any annoyance I might cause people. I'm posting this not for sympathy, because I know a lot of you and a lot of people deal with way worse. Honestly feel kind of guilty for how much it is bothering. Really just searching for advice I've been googling for weeks and haven't really found any good advice on the topic. I don't live with my childhood dog, shes still at my moms, my mother lives just a few miles away so I'm always around. Anyways, my dog, shes 16, and she has been a task to take care of the last year almost. Not that we mind, we all really appreciate and given that besides my step dad we all work random hours. I work retail as does my brother, my moms a nurse. It has been to the point where we always make sure someone is with her to make sure she, the dog, is okay. She's not in pain, still loves to eat and see people. Anyways for months, I've been dreading going over because you never know if that's going to be the day. Well two Tuesdays ago was the day. I came over and she greeted me. My brother told me it was the first shes stood up on her own in 3 days. She walked into me and fell and I felt awful. I've been over everyday since, they thought she was getting better but my mom called me today and said it's time. It's been an awful feeling for two weeks. She can't get up, still eating and wagging her tail so we have no idea what to do. You know what I mean? If she's still happy despite being as disabled as she is, how do you do that? Idk I'm not a huge pet person, just wondering how you pet people do it or have any advice on moving on. Sorry for the LAMP post, but I struggle talking about it in person especially when I know people who have recently lost loved ones or fighting cancer. We're really generally blessed. Not sure if this is the right place for the thread, again just seeking advice from those who been through it. Edit- sorry just saw a very similar thread only a couple threads down. Feel free to merge or delete. Edited March 29, 2019 by Ol Dirty B 3
BuffaloBill Posted March 29, 2019 Posted March 29, 2019 Sorry to hear about your loss. You need to let yourself grieve. The process and magnitude of it are different for each person. 1
WhoTom Posted March 30, 2019 Posted March 30, 2019 Sorry to hear about your dog. It's never easy to make that decision, but when the pet is in constant discomfort, it's the right thing to do. Sometimes the dog knows it before the people do. And I agree with BuffaloBill about the process. 1
Ol Dirty B Posted March 30, 2019 Author Posted March 30, 2019 8 minutes ago, WhoTom said: Sorry to hear about your dog. It's never easy to make that decision, but when the pet is in constant discomfort, it's the right thing to do. Sometimes the dog knows it before the people do. And I agree with BuffaloBill about the process. That's the thing that is tough. People say you'll know when it's time, but my mom said this morning when she woke up the dog was wagging her tail at her. She still loves to eat. She doesn't yelp or make any signs that she is in pain. Still likes being around people. It's just over the past week it has become increasingly difficult to walk. We definitely don't want her to endure pain, but we don't see signs of it. And we don't wanna just make the decision prematurely because you can't reverse that. Appreciate your response though and definitely taking it to heart.
Wacka Posted March 30, 2019 Posted March 30, 2019 (edited) My brothers dog was 19 and we knew it was time. He ate less and less. Then he wouldsn't even eat. He was laying on the floor and was sweating. Dogs don't sweat. It was time. Edited March 30, 2019 by Wacka 1
Buffalo_Gal Posted March 30, 2019 Posted March 30, 2019 It is the worst thing about having pets - knowing when it is time to say goodbye. I am very sorry you will be faced with this decision soon. 1
Reed83HOF Posted March 30, 2019 Posted March 30, 2019 (edited) It's not easy. Lost my first cat 3 years ago, she was 18, lost her sister in October, she was 21 neither were easy, but they had good long lives. Up until March 1,we had a 1yr old pup and 5 cats (2-7 year olds from the same litter, 2-1.5 yr olds and a 6 month old). 28 days ago we lost my favorite little cat man Butters, he was 7. The pup brought flea into the house on Tuesday that week, we had to give the cats a topical and he looked to be in rough shape, lethargic and not eating (which isnot like him and could be a likely side effect from the frontline). Took him to the Vet Thursday and they ran some tests, found out he had an enlarged heart and the cause was not known, but it looked like it might be lymphoma, nope it was FIP (an uncurable fatal disease) he was gone Friday night. We took him to the vet and honestly put him down just before it got real bad as his body was shutting down. I'm still torn up over it. The other cats are too - going around looking for him and staying very close to us. You will know when its time. My 18 yr old had kidney disease as she aged and he had her on subcutaneous fluids, but she just wasted away until she couldn't walk and would fall over. It was time and she knew too. We spent about $3k and we got about 1 extra month out of her, but it was a selfish decision on our part. The 21 yr old had the same ending, but we ended it sooner for her and feel much better we didn't let it dragon... Edited March 30, 2019 by Reed83HOF 1 1
/dev/null Posted March 30, 2019 Posted March 30, 2019 Dogs become part of the family. You love them and would do anything for them, but you also do not want see them suffer. Say your goodbyes and ease her pain. take some solace knowing that when your time comes, she'll be there wagging her tail for you 2 2 2
Ol Dirty B Posted March 30, 2019 Author Posted March 30, 2019 2 minutes ago, /dev/null said: Dogs become part of the family. You love them and would do anything for them, but you also do not want see them suffer. Say your goodbyes and ease her pain. take some solace knowing that when your time comes, she'll be there wagging her tail for you Great post, appreciate it. I'm kind of cold and I'm not really a pet person. I don't have much family, as messed up as it sounds I love this dog more than some of my half brothers and sisters (if that doesn't explain it). We just wanna do right by her. 1 1
NoHuddleKelly12 Posted March 30, 2019 Posted March 30, 2019 Sorry you’re going through this ODB; it’s never easy losing or getting ready to say goodbye to a pet that’s basically become a part of the family. 2
Ol Dirty B Posted March 30, 2019 Author Posted March 30, 2019 11 minutes ago, Reed83HOF said: It's not easy. Lost my first cat 3 years ago, she was 18, lost her sister in October, she was 21 neither were easy, but they had good long lives. Up until March 1,we had a 1yr old pup and 5 cats (2-7 year olds from the same litter, 2-1.5 yr olds and a 6 month old). 28 days ago we lost my favorite little cat man Butters, he was 7. The pup brought flea into the house on Tuesday that week, we had to give the cats a topical and he looked to be in rough shape, lethargic and not eating (which isnot like him and could be a likely side effect from the frontline). Took him to the Vet Thursday and they ran some tests, found out he had an enlarged heart and the cause was not known, but it looked like it might be lymphoma, nope it was FIP (an uncurable fatal disease) he was gone Friday night. We took him to the vet and honestly put him down just before it got real bad as his body was shutting down. I'm still torn up over it. The other cats are too - going around looking for him and staying very close to us. You will know when its time. My 18 yr old had kidney disease as she aged and he had her on subcutaneous fluids, but she just wasted away until she couldn't walk and would fall over. It was time and she knew too. We spent about $3k and we got about 1 extra month out of her, but it was a selfish decision on our part. The 21 yr old had the same ending, but we ended it sooner for her and feel much better we didn't let it dragon... I gave you a thanks because I appreciate the response and empathy. Not really a proper reaction available that gives you props. I thought her being 16 and getting misdiagnosed 5 years ago would make it easier. That's what I told myself. She already died once at 11 but she's a fighter, it hurts even more this time. Thanks again, and sorry about butters. Can I ask where that name came from? 1 minute ago, NoHuddleKelly12 said: Sorry you’re going through this ODB; it’s never easy losing or getting ready to say goodbye to a pet that’s basically become a part of the family. Appreciate it, very much. I don't even know a lot of you, but it really is touching. Especially with how much of an ass I can be. Sincerely thank you
Reed83HOF Posted March 30, 2019 Posted March 30, 2019 3 minutes ago, Ol Dirty B said: I gave you a thanks because I appreciate the response and empathy. Not really a proper reaction available that gives you props. I thought her being 16 and getting misdiagnosed 5 years ago would make it easier. That's what I told myself. She already died once at 11 but she's a fighter, it hurts even more this time. Thanks again, and sorry about butters. Can I ask where that name came from? It's not easy, but they had a good life and the ones with us are having good lives as well. Having them definitely outweighs the pain from losing them, still is far from easy when it's time... Butters was orange and came from South Park, Token is his brother his name came from South Park as well
SinceThe70s Posted March 30, 2019 Posted March 30, 2019 2 hours ago, Ol Dirty B said: That's the thing that is tough. People say you'll know when it's time, but my mom said this morning when she woke up the dog was wagging her tail at her. She still loves to eat. She doesn't yelp or make any signs that she is in pain. Still likes being around people. It's just over the past week it has become increasingly difficult to walk. We definitely don't want her to endure pain, but we don't see signs of it. And we don't wanna just make the decision prematurely because you can't reverse that. Appreciate your response though and definitely taking it to heart. Your dog is eating and happy and showing no signs of pain. It sounds like your family has a shared responsibility that hasn't become an undue burden. That's awesome. Until either circumstance changes I'd be inclined to ride it out. 2 1
Buffalo716 Posted March 30, 2019 Posted March 30, 2019 This is a super tough decision that only you can make in the end... i went through a sick dog 4 years ago... she was my best friend... got cancer suddenly at 12 and stopped eating... I couldn’t put her down i tried spending as much time with her over her last 2 weeks... it was tough and I questioned if I made the right choice i would never take my time back with her 1 1
Ol Dirty B Posted March 30, 2019 Author Posted March 30, 2019 29 minutes ago, SinceThe70s said: Your dog is eating and happy and showing no signs of pain. It sounds like your family has a shared responsibility that hasn't become an undue burden. That's awesome. Until either circumstance changes I'd be inclined to ride it out. Thanks, good to hear that. The vet and people are telling us to make the other decision and I don't think we're in denial. We just can make it work, she seems happy but frustrated and most importantly pain free. We all work crazy odd hours but it works. Can't thank you enough for the input. Our thing has been when she doesn't like food or people that's when we know the times unfortunately up. But she still seems happy, eats, I'll carry her out to to do the business everyday. Again it's s dilemma, we don't want to be selfish. We want what's best for her.
Mike in Horseheads Posted March 30, 2019 Posted March 30, 2019 Just plan sucks. Buster my last dog died 3 months after my dad 12 years ago. take care 1
mrags Posted March 30, 2019 Posted March 30, 2019 (edited) 28 minutes ago, Ol Dirty B said: Thanks, good to hear that. The vet and people are telling us to make the other decision and I don't think we're in denial. We just can make it work, she seems happy but frustrated and most importantly pain free. We all work crazy odd hours but it works. Can't thank you enough for the input. Our thing has been when she doesn't like food or people that's when we know the times unfortunately up. But she still seems happy, eats, I'll carry her out to to do the business everyday. Again it's s dilemma, we don't want to be selfish. We want what's best for her. I’m going to 2nd this from the reply. As as long as your pup is happy to be with you and family and not in pain, that’s all that matters. A year and a half ago, my wife’s pup was almost 17. The last year was pretty rough. Couldn’t go up and down stairs. Needed much help finding her way around as she was mostly blind and mostly deaf. But boy did she love being with us. Her favorite thing was sitting in my lap and falling asleep. And near the end she slept more and more. I often wondered when would be the time. I thought for years as things got worse, that it would soon be time. And honestly, even up until the day she left us, she was happy and wagging her tail. Until the night I came home. Took her outside. Gave her a treat and picked her up in my lap on the couch. All the sudden out of nowhere she seized up. Her front paws jetted straight out over her head (almost like she was stretching). Only she didn’t stop. She was clearly confused and extremely scared. Crying as loud as I’ve ever heard an animal. I rushed her to the emergency room where they said she had a brain aneurism and was going through violent seizures. All they could do was Medicate her to calm her. I waited until my wife and her mother and step father arrived to give her one last kiss before we put her down. I held her in my arms to comfort her as it happened. I’ve never had to do anything so hard in my life. It was like I lost a best friend. A family member. But if she had not been in pain and gotten so bad so quickly, I would have nursed her to live as long as possible. We didn’t want to get another pup right away but in our grief we went to look at pups and pulled the trigger just a few weeks after. I’ll never forget our old baby. But at the same time I love our little pup so much. It’s almost as if it was meant to be the way it turned out. I feel sorry for the decision ahead of you. Good luck with everything. Edited March 30, 2019 by mrags 1
NoHuddleKelly12 Posted March 30, 2019 Posted March 30, 2019 1 hour ago, Ol Dirty B said: I gave you a thanks because I appreciate the response and empathy. Not really a proper reaction available that gives you props. I thought her being 16 and getting misdiagnosed 5 years ago would make it easier. That's what I told myself. She already died once at 11 but she's a fighter, it hurts even more this time. Thanks again, and sorry about butters. Can I ask where that name came from? Appreciate it, very much. I don't even know a lot of you, but it really is touching. Especially with how much of an ass I can be. Sincerely thank you This kind of thing happening always helps put stuff in perspective—the back and forth on the boards over sports is in good fun and all, but at the end of the day there’s more important things, like living your life to the full with those you love (including your pets), and it sounds like you’ve had a good companion for many years, I’m sure that’s been a 2 way street too. Wish you all the best with this. 1
John from Riverside Posted March 30, 2019 Posted March 30, 2019 I have outlived my pets for too long and tired of going through the aftermath. I will have no more.....my girlfriends dog needed some kind of surgery today and rather then her lose her dog I just paid it I dont care if it left me broke till the end of the month. THis has given me some comfort over the years. I hope it does some for you: https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm 1
Gugny Posted March 30, 2019 Posted March 30, 2019 I have a 10-year-old dog (birthday is July 22) who has a cancerous growth on a lymph node near her groinal area. I opted to not do surgery (I had another mass removed from her stomach last year) or any kind of chemo. The vet prescribed prednisone and told me to give her Benadryl twice/day. So far, over a month later, the mass has not grown. Chloe acts perfectly normal. The way I explained it to my 16-year-old son is this: Once Chloe isn't happy anymore, then it's time to say goodbye. She's been the happiest dog I've ever known since we've had her. It's all she knows. Once that's taken from her, then it's time to let her go, because that's not how she's used to living. I'm happy that she's still going about her business as if nothing's wrong. I know how quickly things can change and I cherish every moment with her. But I know my girl. And I know when it will be time to let her go. I wish you, your dog and your family the best as you go through this difficult time. 3
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