Augie Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 15 minutes ago, Pete said: a dry wedding? I do not see an adequate emoji for that comment.
RaoulDuke79 Posted January 13, 2019 Posted January 13, 2019 4 hours ago, Augie said: I do not see an adequate emoji for that comment. ?????? 1
Misterbluesky Posted January 13, 2019 Posted January 13, 2019 4 hours ago, Pete said: a dry wedding ? Muslim?
Hapless Bills Fan Posted January 13, 2019 Posted January 13, 2019 4 hours ago, Pete said: a dry wedding? Really common in the family I married into. Southern Baptist. Though this sounds ...different
Koko78 Posted January 13, 2019 Posted January 13, 2019 On 1/11/2019 at 4:52 PM, coloradobillsfan said: I get really defensive about mashed potatoes too.. not sure I'd go to war over it but maybe.. Insufficient and/or inadequate mashed potatoes are indeed a fighting offense. The only thing worse than not enough mashed potatoes is bad mashed potatoes. #SpudsMatter 2 1
DC Tom Posted January 13, 2019 Posted January 13, 2019 On 1/11/2019 at 3:20 PM, The Real Buffalo Joe said: There will be no alcohol served due to court orders on the Groom's behalf. That's awesome.
WhoTom Posted January 13, 2019 Posted January 13, 2019 19 hours ago, Pete said: a dry wedding? I went to one, but different circumstances. The wedding of a colleague's daughter, both sides of the family are uber-religious. It was a hot, humid summer day, outdoor ceremony and reception. I would have loved a beer - or even a Budweiser. 3
plenzmd1 Posted January 13, 2019 Posted January 13, 2019 19 hours ago, Pete said: a dry wedding? 19 hours ago, Augie said: I do not see an adequate emoji for that comment. I have a good chunk of relatives that live on The Eastern Shore ..or s a governor of Maryland once declared, the poop-house of the state. Bout 25 years ago, went to a cousins wedding in Salisbury MD. The reception was in the Delmarva convention center( made most VFW's look like a Ritz), my cousin had her pack of Marlboro reds tucked into her bra and clearly visable throughout the reception..and self-poured draft beer out of the keg was free...fountain soda was $.50 cent a plastic cup! Wife was so impressed with the family she was joining!! 1
ExiledInIllinois Posted January 13, 2019 Posted January 13, 2019 2 hours ago, plenzmd1 said: I have a good chunk of relatives that live on The Eastern Shore ..or s a governor of Maryland once declared, the poop-house of the state. Bout 25 years ago, went to a cousins wedding in Salisbury MD. The reception was in the Delmarva convention center( made most VFW's look like a Ritz), my cousin had her pack of Marlboro reds tucked into her bra and clearly visable throughout the reception..and self-poured draft beer out of the keg was free...fountain soda was $.50 cent a plastic cup! Wife was so impressed with the family she was joining!! Too funny. Married into some real class. Salt of the earth! ?
Nextmanup Posted January 13, 2019 Posted January 13, 2019 On 1/11/2019 at 3:20 PM, The Real Buffalo Joe said: Let me describe the white trash wedding I get to attend this weekend. I have to drive 90 minutes to my hotel after work tonight. That's still 30 minutes away, but the town the wedding is in has literally zero hotels. For those who know Houston, I'm driving from Clear Lake to Livingston, and going to the wedding in Onalaska. Groom is wearing a cowboy hat, jeans, boots, and lime green button up. There will be no alcohol served due to court orders on the Groom's behalf. One of the groomsmen, who is the groom's cousin, had to drop out because he got into a fistfight with the groom, 10 days after Thanksgiving, about the amount of mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving. One lives in Texas, and associates with Texans, at one's own peril.
The Real Buffalo Joe Posted January 14, 2019 Author Posted January 14, 2019 (edited) When I walked into the venue, the first thing they had was a handmade sign that said "She was his Destyni, he was her saving Grace." Right then and there I knew it was gonna be awesome. The venue didn't have ice, and nobody thought about it. So the bride gave me her debit card, and told me to go to the gas station and told me to get "a ***** ton of ice." So I bought ten 20 lb bags of it. The Best man/Groom's brother had a literal mullet, belt buckle the size of a new iPhone, and one of those gigantic Band-Aid's on his face, from some cyst he had to have drained a few days ago. Since my wife was lucky enough to be the Maid of Honor, she got to walk down the aisle with him. His actual date was his girlfriend. She wore a skin tight camouflage dress, with matching stiletto boots. I wanted to take a picture, but I didn't even feel comfortable doing so, since I don't even think she was 18. The DJ I mentioned not having an aux cord, don't worry. He had a CD player. Not a double CD player where he could have the next song cued up. So the bridal party came down the Aisle to the Final Countdown. Then the Bride was supposed to come down to some pop country song. But the DJ played the wrong song, and it took almost two minutes of the wrong song playing for anybody to realize it. So we sat there awkwardly listening to some song, then another two minutes of silence, before the right song started playing. The DJ only brought the CDs specficially requested. So other than the stuff for the ceremony, the couple's first dance, and the mother/son, father/daughter dance, there was no music or dancing. Both the wedding cake, and grooms cake had pick up trucks on it. All the food was made by the family. Which would be fine. Mashed Potatoes, ribs, brisket, chicken, sausage. I love BBQ. The problem is, they didn't have any warming serving trays, so by the time we ate, the food tasted like it was taken straight out of the fridge. The bride was yelling at her husband during the picture taking, which impressed me. They hadn't been married 15 minutes, and already they were fighting. Also, as mentioned before, no alcohol was served. However, if it was, and I decided to take a drink every time I heard a lame joke along the lines of "There's still time to run" or "Is this a wedding or a funeral" etc, I would have died of alcohol poisoning before the wedding started. Edited January 14, 2019 by The Real Buffalo Joe 3
Turk71 Posted January 15, 2019 Posted January 15, 2019 (edited) 18 hours ago, The Real Buffalo Joe said: When I walked into the venue, the first thing they had was a handmade sign that said "She was his Destyni, he was her saving Grace." Right then and there I knew it was gonna be awesome. The venue didn't have ice, and nobody thought about it. So the bride gave me her debit card, and told me to go to the gas station and told me to get "a ***** ton of ice." So I bought ten 20 lb bags of it. The Best man/Groom's brother had a literal mullet, belt buckle the size of a new iPhone, and one of those gigantic Band-Aid's on his face, from some cyst he had to have drained a few days ago. Since my wife was lucky enough to be the Maid of Honor, she got to walk down the aisle with him. His actual date was his girlfriend. She wore a skin tight camouflage dress, with matching stiletto boots. I wanted to take a picture, but I didn't even feel comfortable doing so, since I don't even think she was 18. The DJ I mentioned not having an aux cord, don't worry. He had a CD player. Not a double CD player where he could have the next song cued up. So the bridal party came down the Aisle to the Final Countdown. Then the Bride was supposed to come down to some pop country song. But the DJ played the wrong song, and it took almost two minutes of the wrong song playing for anybody to realize it. So we sat there awkwardly listening to some song, then another two minutes of silence, before the right song started playing. The DJ only brought the CDs specficially requested. So other than the stuff for the ceremony, the couple's first dance, and the mother/son, father/daughter dance, there was no music or dancing. Both the wedding cake, and grooms cake had pick up trucks on it. All the food was made by the family. Which would be fine. Mashed Potatoes, ribs, brisket, chicken, sausage. I love BBQ. The problem is, they didn't have any warming serving trays, so by the time we ate, the food tasted like it was taken straight out of the fridge. The bride was yelling at her husband during the picture taking, which impressed me. They hadn't been married 15 minutes, and already they were fighting. Also, as mentioned before, no alcohol was served. However, if it was, and I decided to take a drink every time I heard a lame joke along the lines of "There's still time to run" or "Is this a wedding or a funeral" etc, I would have died of alcohol poisoning before the wedding started. Thnx for the update Joe. Sounds hilarious and painful at the same time. Edited January 15, 2019 by Turk71
The Real Buffalo Joe Posted January 15, 2019 Author Posted January 15, 2019 5 hours ago, Turk71 said: Thnx for the update Joe. Sounds hilarious and painful at the same time. I do stand up comedy, and this thing bought me five minutes of material. I don't even have to write jokes because half of this stuff is funny on it's own.
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