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Posted (edited)

Let me describe the white trash wedding I get to attend this weekend.

 

  • I have to drive 90 minutes to my hotel after work tonight. That's still 30 minutes away, but the town the wedding is in has literally zero hotels. For those who know Houston, I'm driving from Clear Lake to Livingston, and going to the wedding in Onalaska. 

 

  • Groom is wearing a cowboy hat, jeans, boots, and lime green button up.

 

  • There will be no alcohol served due to court orders on the Groom's behalf.

 

  • One of the groomsmen, who is the groom's cousin, had to drop out because he got into a fistfight with the groom, 10 days after Thanksgiving, about the amount of mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving.
Edited by The Real Buffalo Joe
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Posted
1 minute ago, The Real Buffalo Joe said:

Let me describe the white trash wedding I get to attend this weekend.

 

  • I have to drive 90 minutes to my hotel after work tonight. That's still 30 minutes away, but the town the wedding is in has literally zero hotels. For those who know Houston, I'm driving from Clear Lake to Livingston, and going to the wedding in Onalaska. 

 

  • Groom is wearing a cowboy hat, jeans, boots, and lime green button up.

 

  • There will be no alcohol served due to court orders on the Groom's behalf.

 

  • One of the groomsmen, who is the groom's cousin, had to drop out because he got into a fistfight with the groom, 10 days after Thanksgiving, about the amount of mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving.

 

  • Just found out the person that was supposed to DJ lost their aux cord, so there will be no music at this thing.

Somebody get that effing DJ an aux cord, Stat!

Posted (edited)

Is the bride in her second or third trimester?

 

Any shotguns involved?

 

 

Edited by WhoTom
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Posted

I got dragged to the bachlor/bachlorette party last week. It was a combined thing because apparently these two lovebirds don't trust each other enough to have a night out with the guys/girls. The groom's recently paroled, sorry, just probation because he was only in county and it was for less than 60 days,  mulleted brother, ordered chicken fingers instead of steak at Texas Roadhouse. When the groom and all of his friends started teasing him for ordering chicken tenders at a steakhouse, again, a fistfight almost ensued. 

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Posted
4 hours ago, The Real Buffalo Joe said:

Let me describe the white trash wedding I get to attend this weekend.

 

  • I have to drive 90 minutes to my hotel after work tonight. That's still 30 minutes away, but the town the wedding is in has literally zero hotels. For those who know Houston, I'm driving from Clear Lake to Livingston, and going to the wedding in Onalaska. 

 

  • Groom is wearing a cowboy hat, jeans, boots, and lime green button up.

 

  • There will be no alcohol served due to court orders on the Groom's behalf.

 

  • One of the groomsmen, who is the groom's cousin, had to drop out because he got into a fistfight with the groom, 10 days after Thanksgiving, about the amount of mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving.

Does his tux include an ankle bracelet?

Posted

I might have rather gone to Popeyes and endured all that resulted. @plenzmd1 know how that turned out. But if it got me out of THAT wedding? 

 

And you know these people how, exactly? 

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Posted
5 minutes ago, BarleyNY said:

This is fantastic. Please update with all possible details. Thank you. 

 

Updates? Details? I want PHOTOS!!!!

 

?

 

 

Video is preferred, but I hate to be greedy. 

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Posted
5 hours ago, The Real Buffalo Joe said:

Let me describe the white trash wedding I get to attend this weekend.

 

  • I have to drive 90 minutes to my hotel after work tonight. That's still 30 minutes away, but the town the wedding is in has literally zero hotels. For those who know Houston, I'm driving from Clear Lake to Livingston, and going to the wedding in Onalaska. 

 

  • Groom is wearing a cowboy hat, jeans, boots, and lime green button up.

 

  • There will be no alcohol served due to court orders on the Groom's behalf.

 

  • One of the groomsmen, who is the groom's cousin, had to drop out because he got into a fistfight with the groom, 10 days after Thanksgiving, about the amount of mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving.

 

Why didn't you politely decline?

 

Regardless, let us know if the beef/chicken/fish comes with a side of garlic mashed.

Posted

I assume you have a connection via the bride’s side of the event?

I might go for the people watching and future storytelling, but I don’t think I would go in anticipation of actually enjoying myself. 

Posted
5 hours ago, The Real Buffalo Joe said:

Let me describe the white trash wedding I get to attend this weekend.

 

  • I have to drive 90 minutes to my hotel after work tonight. That's still 30 minutes away, but the town the wedding is in has literally zero hotels. For those who know Houston, I'm driving from Clear Lake to Livingston, and going to the wedding in Onalaska. 

 

  • Groom is wearing a cowboy hat, jeans, boots, and lime green button up.

 

  • There will be no alcohol served due to court orders on the Groom's behalf.

 

  • One of the groomsmen, who is the groom's cousin, had to drop out because he got into a fistfight with the groom, 10 days after Thanksgiving, about the amount of mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving.

Guess that makes you the pick of the litter.

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