SI Chronicles the Sad Saga of James Hardy

[26CornerBlitz]

 

[LSHMEAB]

That's the saddest story I've ever f'ing read. 

 

 

[Moulds_80]

13 minutes ago, LSHMEAB said:

That's the saddest story I've ever f'ing read. 

 

 

it really is

[whatdrought]

Wow. That's a tough read. 

 

I think it says a lot about how important fathers are in a young boys (and subsequently a man) life, and that sports are a dangerous thing to make an identity out of. 

[Formerly Allan in MD]

Sad stuff.  "The catch" was illusory.

[MrEpsYtown]

Very sad. He seemed to alienate a lot of the people around and he wound up so alone. He pushed them away and they kind of abandoned him. I always believe that the time when a person needs the most love and support is when they are at the bottom. People who are having issues often get pushed away, or push themselves away from family and friends. Those people need to do everything in their power to try and bring that person having issues back in. So please, if you know someone is having mental health issues, drug issues, etc etc, pushing them out is the worst thing you can do because the time when he or she are at the bottom, is the time when they need you the most. 

[machine gun kelly]

EPS- I hear you as we just lost a long time friend from St. Francis who lost his way, and was found at the mall.  He most likely OD’d and had been spiraling down for years even though. He used to have such a promising career, and was sharp as anyone.

 

It hit my family close as my cousin and brother were very close.

 

i didn’t see the link to the story, but know Hardy’s story.  Very sad.  RIP James.

[colin]

sad story, but he just seems like a total POS to me.

[MrEpsYtown]

43 minutes ago, machine gun kelly said:

EPS- I hear you as we just lost a long time friend from St. Francis who lost his way, and was found at the mall.  He most likely OD’d and had been spiraling down for years even though. He used to have such a promising career, and was sharp as anyone.

 

It hit my family close as my cousin and brother were very close.

 

i didn’t see the link to the story, but know Hardy’s story.  Very sad.  RIP James.

 

Sorry for your loss. 

[TroutDog]

4 minutes ago, colin said:

sad story, but he just seems like a total POS to me.

So terrible, in my opinion, that you would say this. 

[colin]

2 minutes ago, TroutDog said:

So terrible, in my opinion, that you would say this. 

 

Why, because he's dead?  Truth is truth, dude.  he made bad decisions and was pretty horrible to people.

[Juice_32]

3 minutes ago, colin said:

sad story, but he just seems like a total POS to me.

 

There is an old saying about walking a mile in another mans shoes. I'm all for personal responsibility and controlling your own destiny,  but this seems a bit harsh. RIP James.

 

 

[Freddie's Dead]

Devastating story.  RIP James Hardy.

[Dr. Who]

55 minutes ago, Juice_32 said:

 

There is an old saying about walking a mile in another mans shoes. I'm all for personal responsibility and controlling your own destiny,  but this seems a bit harsh. RIP James.

 

 

I agree. People in pain often act badly. It doesn't make bad behavior right, but understanding the complexity of human nature ought to engender a nuanced compassion that can censure what is objectionable without dismissing the person as merely contemptible.

[Canadian Bills Fan]

Such a sad read

[Hapless Bills Fan]

11 hours ago, LSHMEAB said:

That's the saddest story I've ever f'ing read.

 

I'm sorry for him and those his death impacts, but I'm having trouble understanding the "saddest story ever" thing.

 

Guy was born with incredible athletic talent and while he didn't have a father in his life and his family was unstable, it sounds like he had coaches, relatives, and friends who cared about him and spent a lot of time trying to help him along the way.

 

Per the article, he was given a "free pass" to bad behavior as a youth and college student - rules were for other people - and was putting all his eggs in the "athletic success" basket.  There are many talented HS and college athletes who get less help and fewer opportunities.  To me the take-home is that coaches and schools do their athletes no favors if they treat them as beyond consequences or don't push them to lay down a solid enough academic foundation to have success in life outside athletics.

 

 

[Shaw66]

55 minutes ago, colin said:

 

Why, because he's dead?  Truth is truth, dude.  he made bad decisions and was pretty horrible to people.

No, Colin.  The truth that he made bad decisions is only a small party of the story.   

 

The whole truth, which is only hinted at in the story, is that this child spent the first fifteen years of his life, the years when just about all of his intellectual and emotional development takes place, effectively homeless.  His father was in prison and his mother often wasn't around.    He might have known where he would sleep tonight, but he had no idea where he would be sleeping in  a year.  He was poor.  It's a good bet the world he saw was filled with drugs, alcohol and violence.   

 

Over the last twenty years, there's been a lot of study that's shown that children who grow up in that kind of environment have close to no chance of making.   Yes, as adults they make bad decisions, but they do so because it's almost impossible for children living in that kind of environment to learn to make good decisions.   Think about the one thing they do tell us - that when he was in high school he'd walk into a clothing store, take what he wanted and walk out without paying and without any consequences.   Not learning lessons about honesty and good behavior when you're a kid makes it very hard to behave as an adult as though you did learn those lessons.  

 

The truth is very few guys make it out of that kind of life to have productive lives, including athletes.   The few who make it out often get their heads straightened out in prison or in the service.  Some do it because someone takes a really serious interest in them, commits to them.   That's what Michael Oher's story is about.   Whatever the truth is exactly, it's clear that those people who took him in when he was a homeless high school freshman changed his life.   Look at Marcel Dareus.   He continues to struggle trying to recover from that kind of childhood.   From our perspective, it's easy.   In truth, it's much, much more difficult to recover from that kind of a childhood than it is to learn to put a basketball in a hoop or to catch passes at Indiana.   

 

It's a tragedy.  

3 minutes ago, Hapless Bills Fan said:

 

I'm sorry for him and those his death impacts, but I'm having trouble understanding the "saddest story ever" thing.

 

Guy was born with incredible athletic talent and while he didn't have a father in his life and his family was unstable, it sounds like he had coaches, relatives, and friends who cared about him and spent a lot of time trying to help him along the way.

 

Per the article, he was given a "free pass" to bad behavior as a youth and college student - rules were for other people - and was putting all his eggs in the "athletic success" basket.  There are many talented HS and college athletes who get less help and fewer opportunities.  To me the take-home is that coaches and schools do their athletes no favors if they treat them as beyond consequences or don't push them to lay down a solid enough academic foundation to have success in life outside athletics.

 

 

I think it's much tougher than you think.   When everything around you as a kid is a disaster, when it's all poverty, drugs, unemployment, sex and violence, it's very hard to develop pitive life skills.   When your life is as chaotic as his was and you begin to have success in sports, it's not surprising that you'd put all your eggs in one basket.  It's an escape, it's the only thing that gives you gratification.   But it remains extraordinarily difficult to do the rest of things in your life successfully.   

 

I'm not advocating for anything.   I don't know how to fix the lives of people who live so dysfunctionally.   But I do know that kids growing up in that environment have a very difficult time growing into responsible, positive human beings.   That world is devastating to children.   

[colin]

jeez, the hallmark card moralizing is in overdrive today.  yeah, sounds like he had a rough life.  so do millions of others, but they don't all think they are above everyone else and just pss away their lives and a small fortune.  

 

the point made is that "maybe other people who are good would not be good if they had a tough life".  sure, there may be some truth to that, but this guy was DEFINITELY was not good after his tough life.  not good is not good.

 

 

[stevewin]

And to make the story even more tragic, Donte Whitner contributed to his downfall 

[Da webster guy]

26 minutes ago, stevewin said:

And to make the story even more tragic, Donte Whitner contributed to his downfall 

 

A personal stylist for $28k.   That's honestly the most ridiculous advice you could ever give a young kid. 

 

Or anyone.

 

Nice mentorship Lil Donte.    Also James had the unfortunate experience of having to listen to Chris "You Gotsta Have a Fall Guy" Carter's ghetto advice.