Misterbluesky Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 1 hour ago, Tiberius said: My older brother is kind of a mess. He went through that with mom and dad, but things had calmed down when I was young and dad passed away when I was nine. A friend of mine and his wife were totally like you describe. Once we were going to work out in the garage on his cars and his wife took the kid who was afraid of the dark, put him out on our side of the fence in the dark, locked the gate and left him just to be a bi tch and the kid freaked out and we had to run and get him and it was for what? She use to shake his hand when they would argue and the kid would scream on key. It was nuts. Friend of not,you should have notified CPS.Odds are,if that young lad was being abused in front of you,he was probably going through pure,evil hell when the doors were closed and nobody was around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Royale with Cheese Posted September 19, 2018 Author Share Posted September 19, 2018 10 minutes ago, GaryPinC said: Sorry to hear you have to go through all this. It's been 5 years since for me now and things are great. It was the most emotionally painful thing I've ever gone through for the first 3 months, but in the end it was definitely for the best. Kids were 10 and 6 at the time of the split, we co-parent 50/50 and always put them first. Well, I do for sure no matter what. I pick up the kids health insurance, end up paying more for clothes, school fees, etc. because I earn significantly more than her. But I don't pay her anything monthly and haven't used or even glanced at our divorce agreement in years. I'm very lucky, but a good part of it was from knowing her strengths and weaknesses and accurately reading the situation. And, both of us want to move forward in life, not drag each other down. What I learned from what I went though and hopefully can help you is this: 50/50 parenting is a must, try like hell to be the custodial parent but it is probably too late for that. Never talk bad about your spouse, she is a part of who your child is and talking bad about her means you're talking bad about him. But, answer these questions: 1. Emotionally, who owes who in this split? 2. How much is your ex willing to accept the state government being involved in your family's parenting? 3. How much can you get away with before upsetting her emotional apple cart and she goes nuclear? 4. Can you make her life as miserable as she could make yours and do you each feel this? 5. Is she someone that has no problem being vindictive or instead prefers to move forward? Question 3 is most important, for the remainder of the divorce. They all are perspective for post-divorce peace. If she goes nuclear, nice-nice goes away and that must be avoided until you can't stand it anymore. Women have the advantage in court. Definitely use the lawyer and definitely (but nicely) stand up for what you need to protect yourself. Depending on how you answered the 4 questions should guide how aggressive of a lawyer you use and how much you fight for yourself. Your agreement will be the precedent, once the court accepts the agreement, you are bound and any disproportionate agreement will never balance out in the future, only snowball. #3....not much. In fact, when the documents are produced and my Lawyer reviews it and wants to make changes to protect me, I will worry she will not be able to reason. We've been fine but she was upset this morning that I seem to be more accepting of what's happening. It's not that, I'm just not as emotional as her. I told her its killing me inside too but I just don't show it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo_Gal Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 I am sorry to hear you are going through this. Divorce is never easy, regardless of how "amicable". My ex and I did mediation, and for the most part NYS designated child support numbers. I completely agree with the advice to get your own attorney. People can get squirly after a divorce is final, even if divorce proceedings go well. Having someone representing your interest now can save you potential pain in the future (and a provision the the person bringing future litigation is responsible for all fees if they lose in court - which saves frivolous law fare). Best wishes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boyst Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 (edited) I've been lamenting on my single days and the married women after me. Sorry y'all. A former Bills RB wife was all about me. ? Edited September 19, 2018 by Boyst62 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiberius Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 34 minutes ago, Misterbluesky said: Friend of not,you should have notified CPS.Odds are,if that young lad was being abused in front of you,he was probably going through pure,evil hell when the doors were closed and nobody was around. Looking back on it all these years later I think you are right. I mean I was not around them all that much, not living with them or anything, yet I saw him hit her twice, saw her almost crash a car chasing after us once and saw her get in this huge fight with his brother that was real close to getting physical. What did happen when I wasn't around?? No wonder I quit talking to them both cold turkey and never looked back. I very much doubt either of them hit the kid, but there was a serious level of crazy there. Once the kid found a friend and she went nuts when the kid wanted to go see him. The kid was actually conceived without his permission, she just decided for both of them to stop taking birth control. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cripple Creek Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 Man, that thread title had me worried. In all seriousness, I hope things work out well for you. If you ever need it, @Gugny has a pot you can piss in. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pine Barrens Mafia Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 16 minutes ago, Cripple Creek said: Man, that thread title had me worried. In all seriousness, I hope things work out well for you. If you ever need it, @Gugny has a pot you can piss in. I don’t know man I’ve seen @Gugny‘s pot. It’s pretty sketchy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gugny Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 41 minutes ago, joesixpack said: I don’t know man I’ve seen @Gugny‘s pot. It’s pretty sketchy. Medicinal grade! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 8 hours ago, Royale with Cheese said: This is what I hope happens and the way it stays. I'm giving her all the furniture because I make a lot more than what she makes. I don't want her to struggle because she is the mother of my child. Our son comes first, if we don't get a long and constantly have tension, he's affected. We don't want that. We're still in the same house now and will be for the next at least 30 days...so far so good. She actually went with me to look at an apartment. We have agreed to keep him in the same school district. We're going to live close to each other. Still have dinner with all of us maybe once a week or every other week. We don't hate each other, we just aren't good together. I'm talking to a few lawyers later today to make sure I'm protected. Sorry to hear about this difficult time. I’m glad to hear he’s keeping his school district. With that comes his friends and familiar teachers and routines, etc. That’s helpful in a time with so much change. I’d be sure teachers/guidance counselors are aware so they can keep an eye out for behavior changes, but that’s me. Best of luck moving forward. God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Jack Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 9 hours ago, Royale with Cheese said: I don't want another relationship for a very long time. I just need another divorced mom who doesn't want that either and we can give each other what we need and that's it. Remember that when looking for one night stands/short term relationships, you can lie about your age, to score younger chicks/women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob's House Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 11 hours ago, Royale with Cheese said: I mean yeah...I'm a guy. But the other thing is my ex is going to be still a close person in my life because of the kid. Whoever I start seeing again is going to have to understand that. We will see each other every couple of days, we will be together at ball games, school events etc..... Never happened. Once the ex knows about the new girl it's going to get ugly fast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 (edited) 11 hours ago, Royale with Cheese said: He told me he was 18. Well, that clears things up! Keep your sense of humor. Really! 13 hours ago, teef said: after reading through this relatively short thread, i've come to the conclusion that if anything happens to my marriage, i'm going to have to murder my wife. I hope your marriage goes well, because something tells me you will get caught. Just a hunch. You may get a new “marriage” partner in prison. I’d suggest a little more attention to details....flowers on her birthday, an anniversary brunch, don’t announce homicidal intentions on a message board, etc. Edited September 20, 2018 by Augie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gordio Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 21 hours ago, joesixpack said: Depending on your state, support is irrelevant to income disparity. My divorce is proof of this, the ex makes way more than I do, yet I pay her a hefty support payment which she managed to get increased...twice. Because I didn't have a lawyer and tried to be a nice guy. ? The is absolutely ridiculous. Sometimes the courts make no sense. You probably had a broad for a judge is my guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pine Barrens Mafia Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 4 minutes ago, Gordio said: The is absolutely ridiculous. Sometimes the courts make no sense. You probably had a broad for a judge is my guess. Yep, there's no justice for fathers in PA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 allegedly 11 hours ago, Just Jack said: Remember that when looking for one night stands/short term relationships, you can lie about your age, to score younger chicks/women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pine Barrens Mafia Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 11 hours ago, Just Jack said: to score younger chicks/women. Why would you want to? Women don't gain sanity until their 40s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boca BIlls Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 6 minutes ago, joesixpack said: Why would you want to? Women don't gain sanity until their 40s. The crazy ones are the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pine Barrens Mafia Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 1 minute ago, Boca BIlls said: The crazy ones are the best. yeah no thanks. I spent 15 years married to crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teef Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 8 hours ago, Augie said: I hope your marriage goes well, because something tells me you will get caught. Just a hunch. You may get a new “marriage” partner in prison. I’d suggest a little more attention to details....flowers on her birthday, an anniversary brunch, don’t announce homicidal intentions on a message board, etc. you guys know i wasn't being serious...right? i actually do those things. I married into a family of women who enjoy "gestures", so i knew what i was getting into. flowers at work, nice gifts for the anniversary, date night, etc. i don't mind doing it because i know she really appreciates, but murder is never really off the table is all i'm saying. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlimShady'sSpaceForce Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 6 minutes ago, teef said: you guys know i wasn't being serious...right? i actually do those things. I married into a family of women who enjoy "gestures", so i knew what i was getting into. flowers at work, nice gifts for the anniversary, date night, etc. i don't mind doing it because i know she really appreciates, but murder is never really off the table is all i'm saying. sometimes you need humor in situations like this ... So when are you and Royale moving in together? We all know you've been "best friends" way back in the BBMB You actually look like a cross between Bert and Ernie oops wrong thread 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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