Anyone ever go through a divorce with a child?

[Royale with Cheese]

3 minutes ago, Hapless Bills Fan said:

 

You have GOT to have an attorney, and some of the stuff you're saying sounds dubious under MO

 

In MO anyway, the child support is considered the right of the child, which the parent can not waive or sign away in favor of some other arrangement, and is a fixed percentage of your income unless you are wealthy way beyond the standard amount. 

 

When I read your first post  I worried you might wind up paying her health insurance AND years of back child support in arrears at some future date.  It may be legally better for you to have the amount you're paying considered as child support, and if she uses it to purchase her health insurance that's her look-out.

 

Tread very carefully here and be sure your lawyer is an experienced 'family practice lawyer'.

 

 

 

 

 

The Lawyer I'm going to is a Family Practice Lawyer only.....doesn't do anything else.

[Hapless Bills Fan]

5 minutes ago, joesixpack said:

 

In my experience you seeing the kid is irrelevant. They charge you what they charge you. And it's VERY easy for the custodial parent to !@#$ with the non-custodial parent, especially when the non-custodial parent is broke from mandatory payments and can't afford a lawyer's fees.

 

Better to have it ironclad up front.

 

 

In most states now to my knowledge, J6P is correct. 

Child support is considered the right of the child and is collected regardless of custody (but the amount does vary with the % of custody).

 

If one parent is @@#$!@$# with the other over visitation, that's considered a separate issue.

 

[Pine Barrens Mafia]

14 minutes ago, MILFHUNTER#518 said:

I  got my support negotiated down almost $100 per week that way two years ago. Still have to pay health ins and other stuff, but I am more than happy to pay all that stuff. Family law does vary state by state, maybe Jersey is different?

 

 

 

My agreement was done in PA. It's done on a percentage of the TOTAL GROSS INCOME of both parents. In my case, my wife earns 2x what I do annually, so I'm paying 40% of that amount a total month for one child. That's after even having a written agreement at the time of the divorce.

 

 

Edited September 19, 2018 by joesixpack

[Gugny]

4 minutes ago, Hapless Bills Fan said:

 

You have GOT to have an attorney, and some of the stuff you're saying sounds dubious under MO

 

In MO anyway, the child support is considered the right of the child, which the parent can not waive or sign away in favor of some other arrangement, and is a fixed percentage of your income unless you are wealthy way beyond the standard amount. 

 

When I read your first post  I worried you might wind up paying her health insurance AND years of back child support in arrears at some future date.  It may be legally better for you to have the amount you're paying considered as child support, and if she uses it to purchase her health insurance that's her look-out.

 

Tread very carefully here and be sure your lawyer is an experienced 'family practice lawyer'.

 

 

 

 

 

In NY, one can waive child support and/or spousal support.  It is law, however, that each party knows exactly what ($) he/she is waiving.  There is also a rule that if income changes 15% or more, then the person who waived support can go back and ask for it.

[ExiledInIllinois]

14 minutes ago, Royale with Cheese said:

 

I don't want another relationship for a very long time.  I just need another divorced mom who doesn't want that either and we can give each other what we need and that's it.

 

Georgia

 

What do You need that both are not getting?  Excuse Me for being so forward.  Don't have to answer.

[Hapless Bills Fan]

3 minutes ago, Royale with Cheese said:

 

The Lawyer I'm going to is a Family Practice Lawyer only.....doesn't do anything else.

 

[teef]

2 minutes ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

 

What do You need that both are not getting?  Excuse Me for being so forward.  Don't have to answer.

i think he's talking about taking his meat log to pound town.  ya know...giving her the noise.

[Royale with Cheese]

1 minute ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

 

What do You need that both are not getting?  Excuse Me for being so forward.  Don't have to answer.

 

Basically if I start dating someone down the road, they'll understand the situation.  I had a friend that went through a divorce, started dating again.  The girl he was dating was never married or had a kid.  They ended up breaking up because she wanted to get more serious and start becoming involved in his kids life.  I don't want that for a while.  

I don't want that pressure.  

I would want someone who understands what I'm going through and is cool with it because they've been there.

[Teddy KGB]

Is the new girl good in bed ?

[Royale with Cheese]

1 minute ago, teef said:

i think he's talking about taking his meat log to pound town.  ya know...giving her the noise.

 

I mean yeah...I'm a guy.

 

But the other thing is my ex is going to be still a close person in my life because of the kid.  Whoever I start seeing again is going to have to understand that.  We will see each other every couple of days, we will be together at ball games, school events etc.....  

Just now, Teddy KGB said:

Is the new girl good in bed ?

 

Never happened.

[teef]

1 minute ago, Royale with Cheese said:

 

I mean yeah...I'm a guy.

 

But the other thing is my ex is going to be still a close person in my life because of the kid.  Whoever I start seeing again is going to have to understand that.  We will see each other every couple of days, we will be together at ball games, school events etc.....  

 

Never happened.

yeah...you don't want to get into all that right now.  i've been through one awful break up in my life, and i certainly would never equate it to a divorce involving a child, but when i tried to date quickly after is was awful and completely not worth it.  i think you're right to let the dust settle first.

[Pine Barrens Mafia]

2 minutes ago, teef said:

yeah...you don't want to get into all that right now.  i've been through one awful break up in my life, and i certainly would never equate it to a divorce involving a child, but when i tried to date quickly after is was awful and completely not worth it.  i think you're right to let the dust settle first.

 

I was separated/divorced for four years before I started seeing someone. It was necessary in my position.

 

[teef]

6 minutes ago, joesixpack said:

 

I was separated/divorced for four years before I started seeing someone. It was necessary in my position.

 

i bet.  especially if there's legal matters dragging out.  it can be difficult enough to carve out time and energy for a new relationship, and with all of the other nonsense going on, it has to make it a chore.  

[MILFHUNTER#518]

23 minutes ago, joesixpack said:

 

My agreement was done in PA. It's done on a percentage of the TOTAL GROSS INCOME of both parents. In my case, my wife earns 2x what I do annually, so I'm paying 40% of that amount a total month for one child. That's after even having a written agreement at the time of the divorce.

 

 

That's crazy, in NYS she would pay 17% of gross to YOU since SHE is considered the "Moneyed Spouse"...

[Royale with Cheese]

12 minutes ago, joesixpack said:

 

I was separated/divorced for four years before I started seeing someone. It was necessary in my position.

 

 

You had a clause you couldn't see anyone else?

[Pine Barrens Mafia]

Just now, MILFHUNTER#518 said:

That's crazy, in NYS she would pay 17% of gross to YOU since SHE is considered the "Moneyed Spouse"...

We're talking support, not alimony.

 

Yeah, PA blows, man. And as I mentioned before because of that I have literally NO spare money per month which has negatively affected my relationship with my child.

 

1 minute ago, Royale with Cheese said:

 

You had a clause you couldn't see anyone else?

 

No, I did that for my own sanity. My ex is a vile human being who had an uncanny knack for making life miserable. I needed the time to heal and get my feet back underneath me.

 

[MILFHUNTER#518]

Just now, joesixpack said:

We're talking support, not alimony.

 

Yeah, PA blows, man. And as I mentioned before because of that I have literally NO spare money per month which has negatively affected my relationship with my child.

 

That is what I was referring to, Child Support. One child 17% of gross income from Moneyed Spouse, I believe it is 22% for 2, and so on.

 

They recently changed our law so if you have been married only 2 years the moneyed spouse has to pay Maintenance ON TOP OF child support. Luckily my attorney got me out of that one...

[Royale with Cheese]

1 minute ago, joesixpack said:

No, I did that for my own sanity. My ex is a vile human being who had an uncanny knack for making life miserable. I needed the time to heal and get my feet back underneath me.

 

 

Sorry you're dealing with that.  It sounds like yours is way, way more difficult to deal with.  I don't think mine is, I hope so at least.

I'm worried that if she finds out I'm seeing someone else, she might flip.  I've been mentally out of this marriage for over a year now even though I'm remained in it.

I think I'll get back out in the dating scene probably within 6 months.  Nothing serious, I will stress that to anyone I meet or friends that set me up.  

[Pine Barrens Mafia]

5 minutes ago, MILFHUNTER#518 said:

That is what I was referring to, Child Support. One child 17% of gross income from Moneyed Spouse, I believe it is 22% for 2, and so on.

 

They recently changed our law so if you have been married only 2 years the moneyed spouse has to pay Maintenance ON TOP OF child support. Luckily my attorney got me out of that one...

 

Oh I did forget to mention that I think it's 40% of a percentage of the total gross. You're right on that. But, still, it comes to about 50% more than what you're paying on a monthly basis. It's a lot for one kid.

 

And that's not inclusive of the 40% of her health insurance cost for the kid, as well.

 

3 more years.

 

On the plus side, I did manage to win 50% of her state teacher's pension upon her retirement. So there's that. Now I just have to outlive her.

 

 

3 minutes ago, Royale with Cheese said:

 

Sorry you're dealing with that.  It sounds like yours is way, way more difficult to deal with.  I don't think mine is, I hope so at least.

I'm worried that if she finds out I'm seeing someone else, she might flip.  I've been mentally out of this marriage for over a year now even though I'm remained in it.

I think I'll get back out in the dating scene probably within 6 months.  Nothing serious, I will stress that to anyone I meet or friends that set me up.  

 

Oh, it was fine until she started dating again. It was after that point that she went back to child services and demanded an increase in support.

 

Twice.

 

She was ALL nice until she didn't have to be. Nicer than when we were married, even. That's the risk.

 

As far as the ex goes, I haven't communicated with her in any way for nearly a year and a half. Best year and a half of my adult life, if I'm honest.

 

 

Edited September 19, 2018 by joesixpack

[MILFHUNTER#518]

1 minute ago, joesixpack said:

 

Oh I did forget to mention that I think it's 40% of a percentage of the total gross. You're right on that. But, still, it comes to about 50% more than what you're paying on a monthly basis. It's a lot for one kid.

 

And that's not inclusive of the 40% of her health insurance cost for the kid, as well.

 

3 more years.

 

So let me get this straight, you have to pay friggin 40% of your gross in alimony & support? On top of that, insurance and stuff? And insurance for her? And she makes almost twice as much of you gross?