WhoTom Posted September 6, 2018 Share Posted September 6, 2018 Don't fry bacon in the nude. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GaryPinC Posted September 6, 2018 Share Posted September 6, 2018 (edited) It's better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. When eating wings with hot sauce, always wash your hands before going to the bathroom. Edited September 6, 2018 by GaryPinC 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guffalo Posted September 6, 2018 Share Posted September 6, 2018 Do unto others before they do it unto you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philly McButterpants Posted September 6, 2018 Share Posted September 6, 2018 1 hour ago, GaryPinC said: It's better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. Beat me by an hour. This one drives my wife nuts. and the kids (well, they're 23 & 21) use it on her now too. ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Popinski Posted September 6, 2018 Share Posted September 6, 2018 If you go to the back of Islands of Adventure, in the Jurassic Park section there is a little watering hole that makes mixed drinks, get the rum runner on the rocks, it's good and they do a happy hour around 3pm. Wait, this may not be the kind of Universal advice people are looking for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gugny Posted September 6, 2018 Share Posted September 6, 2018 8 hours ago, joesixpack said: It's better to be pissed off than pissed on. Excuse me, Mr. Sixpack? There's someone calling you from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue who'd like to disagree with you. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pine Barrens Mafia Posted September 6, 2018 Share Posted September 6, 2018 1 minute ago, Gugny said: Excuse me, Mr. Sixpack? There's someone calling you from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue who'd like to disagree with you. I think he's both. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhoTom Posted September 6, 2018 Share Posted September 6, 2018 3 hours ago, GaryPinC said: It's better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cripple Creek Posted September 6, 2018 Share Posted September 6, 2018 A universal joint should never be passed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gray Beard Posted September 6, 2018 Share Posted September 6, 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhoTom Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 Don't go to a nude beach on your honeymoon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxx Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friend's nose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 Nope. Still got nuthin’. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Popinski Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 Keep dental floss in your car or at work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unbillievable Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 (edited) I overheard a coworker complain to the manager that he was always telling him what to do, while he left me alone. The manager's response was because I always looked busy. Walk with purpose, and everyone will assume you're doing something important. My advice to young people at work: put away the cell phones, it makes you look lazy, even if you're just walking. Personally, I try not to look at my phone unless I'm alone in a room. Edited September 7, 2018 by unbillievable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 Just because the commercials say Taco Nacho Fries are back, does not mean your local Taco Bell has Nacho Fries Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillsFanM.D. Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 Know what you know. Know what you don't. And know when to ask for help. Hear a person's intentions and not their words. Don't eat the yellow snow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
outsidethebox Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 Always change your underwear in case you get hit by a bus. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 Correct a fool and he will hate you Correct a wise man and he will thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unbillievable Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 You can't fly with the eagles, if you're surrounded by turkeys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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