Tell a story of someone you knew who was just stupid/dumb

[HereComesTheReignAgain]

I once heard about a fan base that thought their team's equipment manager was called the deflator due to his rapid weight loss.

[Gugny]

5 minutes ago, mrags said:

Gugny

 

stupid and dumb

 

end of story 

 

What the hell prompted this?!?!

[mrags]

17 minutes ago, Gugny said:

 

What the hell prompted this?!?!

The OP wanted a true story. Couldn’t help it 

[DC Tom]

25 minutes ago, Gugny said:

 

What the hell prompted this?!?!

 

Come on.  You know it's true.

[Gugny]

5 minutes ago, DC Tom said:

 

Come on.  You know it's true.

 

Well, yeah.  But there's no need to state the obvious.

[DC Tom]

2 minutes ago, Gugny said:

 

Well, yeah.  But there's no need to state the obvious.

 

Or there wouldn't be, if you weren't stupid and dumb...

[The Real Buffalo Joe]

My stepdad mother called my mother and told her that her car wouldn't start. My mom was busy, and told her to call AAA if she had a membership. About 20 minutes later she calls back and says she can't find "Triple A" in the phonebook anywhere.

[Cripple Creek]

I know a guy, he’s doing time now, who used the “but it was left out in the open” defense when he stole a $1500 outdoor grill from an elderly blind paraplegic lady. The police were none too happy and the jury did not buy his story.

[Misterbluesky]

17 minutes ago, Cripple Creek said:

I know a guy, he’s doing time now, who used the “but it was left out in the open” defense when he stole a $1500 outdoor grill from an elderly blind paraplegic lady. The police were none too happy and the jury did not buy his story.

bull ****.

[Cripple Creek]

8 minutes ago, Misterbluesky said:

bull ****.

I swear it’s true.?

[Misterbluesky]

12 minutes ago, Cripple Creek said:

I swear it’s true.?

Don't quit on me ,Tiger.I dislike cowards.Bring your best day.

[The Real Buffalo Joe]

I worked in a call center and the girl next to me didn't know how to use copy and paste. She just slowly and carefully typed 16-20 digit account numbers into the chat thread for (usually stupid) questions.

[Cripple Creek]

46 minutes ago, Misterbluesky said:

Don't quit on me ,Tiger.I dislike cowards.Bring your best day.

?my mother used to call me Tiger.

[stuvian]

On 8/9/2018 at 1:15 PM, Royale with Cheese said:

 

I was literally about to post that.  I learned that in college and it absolutely made sense...blew my mind there was actually a term for this.

 

This is one of my favorite quotes.  There were several other memes with this quote but I picked this one because there's an Asian in it.

 

The identification derived from the cognitive bias evident in the criminal case of McArthur Wheeler, who robbed banks with his face covered with lemon juice, which he believed would make it invisible to the surveillance cameras. This belief was based on his misunderstanding of the chemical properties of lemon juice as an invisible ink.^[3]

On 8/9/2018 at 2:01 PM, The Real Buffalo Joe said:

Is every single user on there an idiot?

Hi my name's Dunning Kruger

[Augie]

1 hour ago, Misterbluesky said:

bull ****.

 

It’s true, Cripple Creek IS that elderly, blind......never mind, you’ll call BS on me too....

 

 

My parents worked for a developer in WNY who owned tons of commercial, multi-family and single family properties. They instructed a certain unnamed person (who was an uncle to one of you, I’m sure) to tear down a house on Main St in Williamsville. The guy went and razed a house, but it was not the CORRECT house. Oops! 

 

Fortunately, they owned that one too, but it actually had value. 

[Misterbluesky]

13 minutes ago, Augie said:

 

It’s true, Cripple Creek IS that elderly, blind......never mind, you’ll call BS on me too...

God bless you folks that are taking him to the game...I didn't know he was disabled,that's why he blasts out degrading posts,I guess.Thanks for the honesty,Aug.

[Gugny]

18 hours ago, Cripple Creek said:

I know a guy, he’s doing time now, who used the “but it was left out in the open” defense when he stole a $1500 outdoor grill from an elderly blind paraplegic lady. The police were none too happy and the jury did not buy his story.

 

It was only a $400 grill and I never did any time.

 

And I had to spend $50 on a new table top!

[Magnetar]

On ‎8‎/‎9‎/‎2018 at 5:18 PM, ExiledInIllinois said:

My father's brother, younger brother... My Uncle got a new car.  He put mud flaps on himself. This was back in the 1970s.  He comes over to show my father... Got all butt hurt when my father says:

 

"JESUS H. CHRIST!  This is why they make fun of us Polacks!"

 

My Uncle put the mud flaps on the front of the wheel wells. Was he planning on traveling in reverse a lot?

 

Then my father busts into how My Uncle was a Marine & how he was in the Army.

 

??

 

Haha!  Having a lot of Polish uncles, this hits home.

[teef]

On 8/9/2018 at 6:24 PM, Jay_Fixit said:

I’ve been posting with this guy who happens to live in Georgia, for about 10-15 years and he never shuts up about how he used to live in LA.

 

Another poster I’ve known for about the same amount of time...a local dentist, (he’s also short and hairy and claims to be Italian) likes to let you know when he’s at an airport. Yeah, one of those guys.

why do i always have to be hairy?  i mean...i have a fantastic head of hair for a guy my age, but i'm not ape like.  well...my legs are ape like, but that's it.

[Jauronimo]

A great story from Reddit which fits in well here:

 

t's not uncommon as a teacher to have students who are a bit behind the curve in certain aspects, but 99.99999% of the time they are keen on something. They might not understand how to identify a noun or what theme is, but they somehow know how to make a mean plate of nachos. You learn pretty quick to not judge fish for their tree climbing ability, ya know?

I thought this was the rule when I was teaching until I met Kevin. Kevin isn't his real name, but it doesn't matter because he can't spell it anyway. Kevin was a student of mine during my last year of teaching. He came to my classroom with very little to show for his academic past. He had moved a few times and thus was missing a lot of typical test scores that we use to try and ballpark their ability (Don't worry, it was a ballpark.....we didn't make major decisions until we actually had a chance to talk and work with a student for a bit.) I thought "That's fine. I'll just do some one-on-one with Kevin and see what's up" One on One with kevin was like conversing with someone who'd forgotten everything in a freak, if not impossible, amnesia incident. There was no evidence that he had learned anything past the 2nd grade....and now he was in 9th grade. Flabbergasted, I figured we needed to get more serious with this. If he was going to be in my class, I needed to know why and how.

I decided to meet with him, his guidance counselor, his parents, and another teacher to see what was really going on. This is where it all became clear. It was by some incredible fluke that his family hadn't been wiped off the face of the Earth years ago. Odds are his entire heritage was based on blind luck and some type of sick divine intervention that saves his family every time a threat presents itself. Kevin was the genetic pinnacle of this null achievement. Even my instructional lead, a woman who could find a redeeming trait in a Balrog, failed to see any reason this kid or his family should be alive today.

So here's a list of events that made it abundantly clear that god exists and he's laughing uncontrollably:

• Kevin frequently forgot when/where class was. On more than one occasion, I had to retrieve him from other classrooms.

• Kevin ate an entire 24 pack of crayons, puked, and then did it again the next day. This is 9th grade. I have no idea where he got crayons.

• Kevin's dad wrote tuition checks and mailed them to me...his English teacher. This was a public school. When I gave it back to Kevin, voided, to give to his dad with a brief note explaining that this is a public school, Kevin got in trouble for trying to spend it at 711 after school.

• Kevin was removed from the culinary arts program after leaving a cutting board on the gas stove and starting a fire....twice

• Kevin threw his lunch at the School Resource Officer and tried to run away. He ran into a door and insisted it wasn't him.

• Kevin stole my phone during class. I called it. It rang. He denied that it was ringing. (Not that it wasn't his, not that he did it.....no, he denied that the phone was actually ringing). He tried it three times before the end of the year.

• Kevin called the basketball coach a "Mother!@#$ing B word" during gym. Basketball tryouts were that afternoon. Kevin tried out. It didn't go well.

• Kevin's mom could never remember which school he went to. She missed several meetings because she drove to other schools (none of which he ever went to)

• Kevin tazed himself in the neck before a football game

• Kevin kept a bottle of orange koolaide in his backpack for about 4 months. He thought it would turn into alcohol. He drank it during homeroom and threw up.

• Kevin say the N-word a lot. Kevin was white. The highschool was 84% black. Kevin got beat up a lot.

• Kevin stole another student's Iphone....and tried to sell it back to them.

• Kevin didn't understand that his grade was dependent on tests, quizzes, homework, classwork, and participation. Kevin finished his first semester with a 3% average. He tried to bribe me with $11.

• Kevin spit on a girl and said "You should get out of those wet clothes". The girl was the Spanish Student Teacher.

• Kevin didn't know dogs and cats were different animals.

• Kevin tried to download porn onto a computer in the library.....at the circulation desk....while he was logged on.

• Kevin asked a girl to prom (he was in 9th grade and freshmen don't go to prom) by asking for her phone number and then texting her his address

• Kevin got gum in his hair, constantly.

• Kevin regularly tried to cheat on assignments by knocking the pile over, grabbing one before I had picked them all up, and then writing it name on it wherever there was room.

• Kevin had several allergies, but neither his parents nor he could remember what they were. They were very concerned that "the holiday party" (it's high school, we don't have those) would have peanuts. When they finally got a doctor's note....he was allergic to amoxicillin

• Kevin and his parents took a trip to Nassau (how the !@#$ did they even get airline tickets?) and forgot all their luggage at home. I didn't believe him when he told me until I talked to him mom, who told me 1st thing when I saw her at the bi-weekly meeting.

• Kevin's grandfather apparently died in a chainsaw accident. I can only assume God was looking the other way that day.