Crime or Clemency

[The_Dude]

https://www.yahoo.com/news/north-carolina-man-74-admits-160650240.html

 

 

I’d say he’d know his wife’s wishes best. 

[Azalin]

Going strictly on what it says in the article, she was apparently cognizant enough to understand him, to see what he wanted, and to obey his request to come to the garage. That he used a gun sure makes it sound as if she had no idea it was coming.

 

Is that compassion? It doesn't sound much like it to me.

[DC Tom]

33 minutes ago, Azalin said:

Going strictly on what it says in the article, she was apparently cognizant enough to understand him, to see what he wanted, and to obey his request to come to the garage. That he used a gun sure makes it sound as if she had no idea it was coming.

 

Is that compassion? It doesn't sound much like it to me.

 

Having seen people die of Alzheimer's, waste away with dementia, and the like...I get it.  Also, having known someone who was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and threw herself a going-away party, after which she OD'd on morphine (she cleaned up after the party, first)...I get it. 

 

We put far too much effort in to keeping people biologically alive long after any sort of quality of life justifies it.  Going out with dignity and class should be an option.  

 

But putting two in the chest?  Not particularly dignified.  Or classy.  To paraphrase and culturally appropriate Chris Rock, I don't agree with it...but I understand.

[3rdnlng]

21 minutes ago, DC Tom said:

 

Having seen people die of Alzheimer's, waste away with dementia, and the like...I get it.  Also, having known someone who was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and threw herself a going-away party, after which she OD'd on morphine (she cleaned up after the party, first)...I get it. 

 

We put far too much effort in to keeping people biologically alive long after any sort of quality of life justifies it.  Going out with dignity and class should be an option.  

 

But putting two in the chest?  Not particularly dignified.  Or classy.  To paraphrase and culturally appropriate Chris Rock, I don't agree with it...but I understand.

I've dealt with being the decisionmaker for my 33 year old wife's "existence". After a head-on accident she ended up  in the hospital in a coma. Eight days later I was awakened in the middle of the night after they had taken her off the respirator and she eventually couldn't breath on her own. They were hand respirating her and wanted to know if they should continue. After consulting with the neurosurgeon, the chaplain for the hospital and my wife's sister I had to let her go. It was, needless to say the most difficult decision of my life but also the easiest in retrospect. 

 

I'm now dealing with my elderly mother who has dementia but still is functional. She lost her husband (my father) of 73 years 3 months ago. I hang with her every chance I get. She has accepted her "plight" and frequently says something like "you expect me to remember that, that was more than 15 minutes ago", then she laughs. My 33 year old wife's life was over the minute her head hit the windshield. My mother still has "X" amount of time to share her joy and wisdom. BTW, she volunteers to talk and communicate with people in a rest home a couple of days of the week. We just have to remind her what two days of the week it is.

[outsidethebox]

15 minutes ago, 3rdnlng said:

I've dealt with being the decisionmaker for my 33 year old wife's "existence". After a head-on accident she ended up  in the hospital in a coma. Eight days later I was awakened in the middle of the night after they had taken her off the respirator and she eventually couldn't breath on her own. They were hand respirating her and wanted to know if they should continue. After consulting with the neurosurgeon, the chaplain for the hospital and my wife's sister I had to let her go. It was, needless to say the most difficult decision of my life but also the easiest in retrospect. 

 

I'm now dealing with my elderly mother who has dementia but still is functional. She lost her husband (my father) of 73 years 3 months ago. I hang with her every chance I get. She has accepted her "plight" and frequently says something like "you expect me to remember that, that was more than 15 minutes ago", then she laughs. My 33 year old wife's life was over the minute her head hit the windshield. My mother still has "X" amount of time to share her joy and wisdom. BTW, she volunteers to talk and communicate with people in a rest home a couple of days of the week. We just have to remind her what two days of the week it is.

I'm so sorry 3rd.......????

[3rdnlng]

3 minutes ago, westside said:

I'm so sorry 3rd.......????

Appreciate that, but I wasn't posting that for sympathy but for celebrating my mother's condition and attitude. The mentioning of the loss of my wife was just for street cred, but it was true. With all of that said, I don't think the husband who shot his wife was in the right, maybe.

[Azalin]

1 hour ago, DC Tom said:

 

Having seen people die of Alzheimer's, waste away with dementia, and the like...I get it.  Also, having known someone who was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and threw herself a going-away party, after which she OD'd on morphine (she cleaned up after the party, first)...I get it. 

 

We put far too much effort in to keeping people biologically alive long after any sort of quality of life justifies it.  Going out with dignity and class should be an option.  

 

But putting two in the chest?  Not particularly dignified.  Or classy.  To paraphrase and culturally appropriate Chris Rock, I don't agree with it...but I understand.

 

We probably do put too much emphasis on keeping our loved ones biologically alive, but my point was that the guy lured his wife out to the garage where he shot her to death.

 

I've lost a family member to Alzheimer's. It's terrible to watch someone you love waste away to the point where they can't eat, clean themselves, or any of the rest of the dignities we enjoy as individuals. I'm not saying that people should have to suffer any of that, and for the record, I am not opposed to assisted suicide to end a life that has no promise for anything other than suffering.

 

I am saying that guy shooting his wife to death , especially in a scenario where he had to surprise her to do so, does not sound like a compassionate way to end someone's life, rather a convenient method of getting rid of her before difficult decisions had to be made.

 

 

 

 

[KD in CA]

4 hours ago, DC Tom said:

 

Having seen people die of Alzheimer's, waste away with dementia, and the like...I get it.  Also, having known someone who was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and threw herself a going-away party, after which she OD'd on morphine (she cleaned up after the party, first)...I get it. 

 

We put far too much effort in to keeping people biologically alive long after any sort of quality of life justifies it.  Going out with dignity and class should be an option.  

 

But putting two in the chest?  Not particularly dignified.  Or classy.  To paraphrase and culturally appropriate Chris Rock, I don't agree with it...but I understand.

 

Yup.  Even if this guy's decision making and actions were misguided (which of course they were), it was a direct result of there not being any reasonable and compassionate options.

 

Of course, there won't be any national discussion about the real issue, instead people will volley around what happens to this sad old man until we forget all about it tomorrow.

[3rdnlng]

6 hours ago, Azalin said:

 

We probably do put too much emphasis on keeping our loved ones biologically alive, but my point was that the guy lured his wife out to the garage where he shot her to death.

 

I've lost a family member to Alzheimer's. It's terrible to watch someone you love waste away to the point where they can't eat, clean themselves, or any of the rest of the dignities we enjoy as individuals. I'm not saying that people should have to suffer any of that, and for the record, I am not opposed to assisted suicide to end a life that has no promise for anything other than suffering.

 

I am saying that guy shooting his wife to death , especially in a scenario where he had to surprise her to do so, does not sound like a compassionate way to end someone's life, rather a convenient method of getting rid of her before difficult decisions had to be made.

 

 

 

 

So, the other option for this guy's wife was assisted living? Assisted living is not a cage and certainly allows for dignity in a person's later years. If he chose death over assisted living then he chose poorly.

[row_33]

better be a heck of a display for me not to convict for my jury.

 

 

[ALF]

What religions are against euthanasia?

Buddhism.

Christian.

Roman Catholic.

Hindu.

Islam.

Judaism.

Sikhism.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/ethics/euthanasia/religion/religion.shtml

[Buffalo_Gal]

They put Kevorkian in jail. I'd have given the guy a medal.

Right now we are going through my MIL's long, drawn-out medical issues that have nowhere to lead but death (she isn't recovering and going home). Her kidneys, lungs, and heart are all conspiring to kill her. The hope is she doesn't drown in her own fluids (a horrible way to go).  She's in her late 80s... why she has to suffer like this - no one can give me a rational explanation. 

My father is in a nursing home. They finally came up with his "type" of dementia. That too is going to be horrible for him, my mother, and the rest of the family. We've gone through this before.  My grandmother died from Alzheimer's complications. My aunt, Parkinson's. I could go on and on about the cancers (on both sides), and other slow death diseases etc.  Few in my family (or my husband's family) "go quick".

I've already told Hubby if I am diagnosed with an incurable illness, we are off to Switzerland. I have ZERO desire to endure the indignity and pain of a protracted death.

People are looked down upon for allowing their pets to suffer. Yet we think nothing of doing the same to people.

[row_33]

9 minutes ago, Buffalo_Gal said:

They put Kevorkian in jail. I'd have given the guy a medal.

Right now we are going through my MIL's long, drawn-out medical issues that have nowhere to lead but death (she isn't recovering and going home). Her kidneys, lungs, and heart are all conspiring to kill her. The hope is she doesn't drown in her own fluids (a horrible way to go).  She's in her late 80s... why she has to suffer like this - no one can give me a rational explanation. 

My father is in a nursing home. They finally came up with his "type" of dementia. That too is going to be horrible for him, my mother, and the rest of the family. We've gone through this before.  My grandmother died from Alzheimer's complications. My aunt, Parkinson's. I could go on and on about the cancers (on both sides), and other slow death diseases etc.  Few in my family (or my husband's family) "go quick".

I've already told Hubby if I am diagnosed with an incurable illness, we are off to Switzerland. I have ZERO desire to endure the indignity and pain of a protracted death.

People are looked down upon for allowing their pets to suffer. Yet we think nothing of doing the same to people.

 

 

Kevorkian deliberately killed off women in their 50s and 60s whose only problem was a slight depression and the feeling they were a burden.

 

After being warned repeatedly to not do this.

 

 

 

 

[TakeYouToTasker]

10 hours ago, 3rdnlng said:

I've dealt with being the decisionmaker for my 33 year old wife's "existence". After a head-on accident she ended up  in the hospital in a coma. Eight days later I was awakened in the middle of the night after they had taken her off the respirator and she eventually couldn't breath on her own. They were hand respirating her and wanted to know if they should continue. After consulting with the neurosurgeon, the chaplain for the hospital and my wife's sister I had to let her go. It was, needless to say the most difficult decision of my life but also the easiest in retrospect. 

 

I'm now dealing with my elderly mother who has dementia but still is functional. She lost her husband (my father) of 73 years 3 months ago. I hang with her every chance I get. She has accepted her "plight" and frequently says something like "you expect me to remember that, that was more than 15 minutes ago", then she laughs. My 33 year old wife's life was over the minute her head hit the windshield. My mother still has "X" amount of time to share her joy and wisdom. BTW, she volunteers to talk and communicate with people in a rest home a couple of days of the week. We just have to remind her what two days of the week it is.

 

Thank you for sharing your story.  You'll be in my prayers.

[3rdnlng]

6 minutes ago, TakeYouToTasker said:

 

Thank you for sharing your story.  You'll be in my prayers.

Thank you. I hesitated to share but thought that I had a little insight into the decision making involved in letting a loved one go.  

[Taro T]

3 hours ago, ALF said:

What religions are against euthanasia?

Buddhism.

Christian.

Roman Catholic.

Hindu.

Islam.

Judaism.

Sikhism.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/ethics/euthanasia/religion/religion.shtml

 

Roman Catholics ARE Christians.  Listing them separately is redundant.

11 hours ago, 3rdnlng said:

I've dealt with being the decisionmaker for my 33 year old wife's "existence". After a head-on accident she ended up  in the hospital in a coma. Eight days later I was awakened in the middle of the night after they had taken her off the respirator and she eventually couldn't breath on her own. They were hand respirating her and wanted to know if they should continue. After consulting with the neurosurgeon, the chaplain for the hospital and my wife's sister I had to let her go. It was, needless to say the most difficult decision of my life but also the easiest in retrospect. 

 

I'm now dealing with my elderly mother who has dementia but still is functional. She lost her husband (my father) of 73 years 3 months ago. I hang with her every chance I get. She has accepted her "plight" and frequently says something like "you expect me to remember that, that was more than 15 minutes ago", then she laughs. My 33 year old wife's life was over the minute her head hit the windshield. My mother still has "X" amount of time to share her joy and wisdom. BTW, she volunteers to talk and communicate with people in a rest home a couple of days of the week. We just have to remind her what two days of the week it is.

 

What an awful thing to go through w/ your wife.  You have my condolences.

 

You and your mother will be in my prayers.

[Tiberius]

12 hours ago, 3rdnlng said:

I've dealt with being the decisionmaker for my 33 year old wife's "existence". After a head-on accident she ended up  in the hospital in a coma. Eight days later I was awakened in the middle of the night after they had taken her off the respirator and she eventually couldn't breath on her own. They were hand respirating her and wanted to know if they should continue. After consulting with the neurosurgeon, the chaplain for the hospital and my wife's sister I had to let her go. It was, needless to say the most difficult decision of my life but also the easiest in retrospect. 

 

I'm now dealing with my elderly mother who has dementia but still is functional. She lost her husband (my father) of 73 years 3 months ago. I hang with her every chance I get. She has accepted her "plight" and frequently says something like "you expect me to remember that, that was more than 15 minutes ago", then she laughs. My 33 year old wife's life was over the minute her head hit the windshield. My mother still has "X" amount of time to share her joy and wisdom. BTW, she volunteers to talk and communicate with people in a rest home a couple of days of the week. We just have to remind her what two days of the week it is.

Best of luck dealing with all this. My mom has parkinsons and is hardly able to talk. When Muhammad Ali died of Parkinson's mom told me that's how she would go, eventually unable to breathe. Says she does not want to be revived 

1 hour ago, Buffalo_Gal said:

They put Kevorkian in jail. I'd have given the guy a medal.

Right now we are going through my MIL's long, drawn-out medical issues that have nowhere to lead but death (she isn't recovering and going home). Her kidneys, lungs, and heart are all conspiring to kill her. The hope is she doesn't drown in her own fluids (a horrible way to go).  She's in her late 80s... why she has to suffer like this - no one can give me a rational explanation. 

My father is in a nursing home. They finally came up with his "type" of dementia. That too is going to be horrible for him, my mother, and the rest of the family. We've gone through this before.  My grandmother died from Alzheimer's complications. My aunt, Parkinson's. I could go on and on about the cancers (on both sides), and other slow death diseases etc.  Few in my family (or my husband's family) "go quick".

I've already told Hubby if I am diagnosed with an incurable illness, we are off to Switzerland. I have ZERO desire to endure the indignity and pain of a protracted death.

People are looked down upon for allowing their pets to suffer. Yet we think nothing of doing the same to people.

I consider my self lucky that Mom still has her brain. I would hate to have to deal with her going completely demented. 

[/dev/null]

43 minutes ago, Tiberius said:

 

I consider my self lucky that Mom still has her brain

At least somebody in your house does

 

Admit it, you walked right into that one

 

[3rdnlng]

58 minutes ago, Taro T said:

 

Roman Catholics ARE Christians.  Listing them separately is redundant.

 

What an awful thing to go through w/ your wife.  You have my condolences.

 

You and your mother will be in my prayers.

Thanks Taro.

[PearlHowardman]

3 hours ago, TakeYouToTasker said:

 

Thank you for sharing your story.  You'll be in my prayers.

 

+1