WhoTom Posted June 16, 2018 Posted June 16, 2018 Many of us inherited our fanhood from our fathers. If your father also gave you a goofy sense of humor, share a "Dad joke" with us. Here's one from my childhood - an actual exchange between a waitress and my Dad. Waitress: "Would you like your pizza cut into twelve pieces or sixteen pieces?" Dad: "Twelve, please. We're not hungry enough to eat sixteen."
Johnny Hammersticks Posted June 16, 2018 Posted June 16, 2018 I believe there was a meeting at school when I shared this Dad joke with my kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Vanallstein. Q: How come momma jack-o-lantern can’t have any babies? A: Because daddy jack-o-lantern has a hall-o-weenie. 1 2
Roundybout Posted June 16, 2018 Posted June 16, 2018 I want that mirror so clean you can see yourself in it!
Buffalo716 Posted June 16, 2018 Posted June 16, 2018 Dad-“ I’ve been happily married to your mother for 26 years... I haven’t lived with her for 25
ExiledInIllinois Posted June 16, 2018 Posted June 16, 2018 (edited) "You think the rain will hurt the rhubarb? Not if it's in cans!" "If the hound didn't stop to take a sh*t, it would have got the fox." I guess not really jokes... But words of wisdom... How do You think I got so cray cray... ? Oh... "Whether or not, we'll have weather." Edited June 16, 2018 by ExiledInIllinois
Ridgewaycynic2013 Posted June 16, 2018 Posted June 16, 2018 Q. What's the most confusing day of the year in Wullerton, Saskatchewan? A. Father's Day. This is only funny if you live in Dog River, Saskatchewan. Try substituting 'Lancaster' and 'Cheektowaga' as the two hypothetical locations. Creative individuals might even tinker this to insult one's in-laws.
WhoTom Posted June 16, 2018 Author Posted June 16, 2018 34 minutes ago, Buffalo716 said: Dad-“ I’ve been happily married to your mother for 26 years... I haven’t lived with her for 25 Variation: We've been happily married for 20 years. 20 out of 30 ain't bad, huh?
Ridgewaycynic2013 Posted June 16, 2018 Posted June 16, 2018 Police operator: 911, what's your emergency? Woman: My husband is staggering around the front yard with a bullet wound. Police operator: What are you doing for it? Woman: Reloading. 2
Augie Posted June 16, 2018 Posted June 16, 2018 When I stub my toe or close a door on my hand. OK, technically not jokes, but I’m a dad and it gets a serious laugh out of my kids every time.
LeGOATski Posted June 16, 2018 Posted June 16, 2018 Rick and Coral memes are your one-stop shop for great dad jokes. 1
Augie Posted June 16, 2018 Posted June 16, 2018 1 hour ago, Buffalo_Gal said: Who doesn’t need one of those?!?! We need a big wheels version for the beach. Big Wheels for Big Boys! I claim patent rights on the Big Wheels version! But you can stop by for a cold one. ?
Gray Beard Posted June 16, 2018 Posted June 16, 2018 3 hours ago, Augie said: When I stub my toe or close a door on my hand. OK, technically not jokes, but I’m a dad and it gets a serious laugh out of my kids every time. In my family, if someone says “ow,” someone else will say, “are you really hurt, or are you trying to make me feel good?” 1
Cripple Creek Posted June 16, 2018 Posted June 16, 2018 2 hours ago, Virgil said: Child: Dad, I'm hungry! Dad: Hi Hungry, I'm Dad I used to use that one all the time.
snafu Posted June 16, 2018 Posted June 16, 2018 Any one of my kids: "dad, can you make me a sandwich?" Me: "poof! You're a sandwich." 2
SlimShady'sSpaceForce Posted June 16, 2018 Posted June 16, 2018 I told my daughter that I was so dyslexic that I couldn’t spell DAD backwards. 1
Kirby Jackson Posted June 17, 2018 Posted June 17, 2018 Q. Why does Jared from Subway like twenty eight year-olds? A. Because there is twenty of them.
Jon in Pasadena Posted June 17, 2018 Posted June 17, 2018 Q. Why did little Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she has no arms. Knock-knock... Who's there? ...not Sally!
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