What are your shortcomings?

[Ridgewaycynic2013]

My inability to see that I have shortcomings.

[Gray Beard]

1 hour ago, Gugny said:

I don't like very many people.  Not that I dislike people ... I just don't like very many.

 

I get pissed off (too pissed off) when I see people doing something stupid.  It could be someone's bad/dangerous driving, or someone leaving their cart in the middle of the aisle whilst looking for the perfect spaghetti sauce.  Inconsiderate/ignorant people bring out the worst in me.

 

I'm painfully shy in social situations where I don't know many people.

 

In my professional life, I often feel intimidated, borderline embarrassed, around peers who hold higher degrees than I do (I have an Associate's).  I once went to a professional gathering in Chicago and knew one person out of 50+.  It seemed like all they were talking about was what schools they graduated from.  I avoided everyone.  I ended up speaking to a receptionist for about an hour before quietly leaving.

I can identify with every statement.  

 

I was thinking about starting a thread about one of my pet peeves, which is trucks passing other trucks on the highway. I am getting better at watching and waiting, but every so often I get worked up over it. There are two issues when this happens: the trucks slowing everybody down, and people passing each other and squeezing in to get to the front of the line.  Why?  That falls into the category of getting pissed off when I see somebody doing something stupid. 

 

I have a Master’s degree, but whenever I go to a symposium or even a work presentation I am surrounded by PhD types.  Talk about arrogance. And my Master’s degree isn’t particularly impressive. I got it through work, and I just had to jump through several hoops that were all laid out for me (and several others). But hey, it’s a Syracuse U degree so that gives me Upstate NY cred!

[Ridgewaycynic2013]

4 minutes ago, Gray Beard said:

But hey, it’s a Syracuse U degree so that gives me Upstate NY cred!

That and the fact Doug Marrone will always be able to find a job for you.

[Johnny Hammersticks]

1 hour ago, Gugny said:

I don't like very many people.  Not that I dislike people ... I just don't like very many.

 

I am very similar.  I am actually quite outgoing, and can “work the room” pretty well at any type of social engagement.  The problem is, I don’t actually like too many people on more than a very superficial level.  It doesn’t stem from feelings of superiority or narcissism or anything like that, I just find most people to be annoying in large doses.  I have lived in Vermont for almost 5 years now, and I probably have 2 or 3 real friends that I would hang with.  

 

This sometimes is problematic for me, as my wife is SUPER outgoing type A personality.  She is probably more popular than the mayor of the town we live in, and has a zillion close friends that she hangs out with regularly.  She’s always trying to “hook me up” with her friends’ husbands/boyfriends after we go on couple dates ?.  

 

She’ll say “You should play golf with Dave some time!  You guys seemed to get along great!”  And my response is usually “Nah, Dave is a nice guy, but I don’t really think I want to be friends with him.”  It is very frustrating for her.

 

 

[Gugny]

2 hours ago, Johnny Hammersticks said:

 

I am very similar.  I am actually quite outgoing, and can “work the room” pretty well at any type of social engagement.  The problem is, I don’t actually like too many people on more than a very superficial level.  It doesn’t stem from feelings of superiority or narcissism or anything like that, I just find most people to be annoying in large doses.  I have lived in Vermont for almost 5 years now, and I probably have 2 or 3 real friends that I would hang with.  

 

This sometimes is problematic for me, as my wife is SUPER outgoing type A personality.  She is probably more popular than the mayor of the town we live in, and has a zillion close friends that she hangs out with regularly.  She’s always trying to “hook me up” with her friends’ husbands/boyfriends after we go on couple dates ?.  

 

She’ll say “You should play golf with Dave some time!  You guys seemed to get along great!”  And my response is usually “Nah, Dave is a nice guy, but I don’t really think I want to be friends with him.”  It is very frustrating for her.

 

 

 

The smaller the circle, the less drama and bull ****.  I learned that at a young age.  Most of my friends are people I became friends with as we were teens.  I rarely meet new people who become actual friends.  I can count ~5 in the past 15 years, or so and less than 10 in the last 25 years.

[Cripple Creek]

TRBJ

[RaoulDuke79]

4 hours ago, Gugny said:

I don't like very many people.  Not that I dislike people ... I just don't like very many.

 

I get pissed off (too pissed off) when I see people doing something stupid.  It could be someone's bad/dangerous driving, or someone leaving their cart in the middle of the aisle whilst looking for the perfect spaghetti sauce.  Inconsiderate/ignorant people bring out the worst in me.

 

I'm painfully shy in social situations where I don't know many people.

 

In my professional life, I often feel intimidated, borderline embarrassed, around peers who hold higher degrees than I do (I have an Associate's).  I once went to a professional gathering in Chicago and knew one person out of 50+.  It seemed like all they were talking about was what schools they graduated from.  I avoided everyone.  I ended up speaking to a receptionist for about an hour before quietly leaving.

Degrees get you in the door, but what you after that is where the rubber meets the road. I work with a guy who has a mathematics degree from MIT. We bith hold the same position, but when there is an issue 95% of the time my phone is ringing not his. He's a super smart person and a good dude, but there's academia and there's the real world. I much rather have someone in my corner who knows how to operate and make decisions on the fly than someone who has a degree from a prestigious university. Some of the brightest people I've worked with have no degree at all.

[Gugny]

14 minutes ago, RaoulDuke79 said:

Degrees get you in the door, but what you after that is where the rubber meets the road. I work with a guy who has a mathematics degree from MIT. We bith hold the same position, but when there is an issue 95% of the time my phone is ringing not his. He's a super smart person and a good dude, but there's academia and there's the real world. I much rather have someone in my corner who knows how to operate and make decisions on the fly than someone who has a degree from a prestigious university. Some of the brightest people I've worked with have no degree at all.

 

My sister has her EdD and doesn't have a lick of common sense.  She is not pretentious, however, and is a genuinely good person.

 

One of my best employees has his G.E.D., and has done time in prison (drug-related robbery).

 

Five years ago, after being laid off, I did find a number of companies who were requiring a degree or equivalent experience.  Refreshing.  Smart.

 

I remember doing a phone interview for a Target Warehouse Ops Manager position.  She asked if I had a bachelor's degree (my resume said associate's).  I told her no.  She said that she had to end the interview right there and then.

 

Fast forward to about a year ago when I was looking (whilst in my current role), I came across the same position but they'd relaxed the requirements and allowed equivalent experience.  I made it to the 3rd round of interviews before finding out that the hours wouldn't work for me.  So it looks like more companies are realizing that experience means a lot.  For some positions, obviously, a more advanced degree is necessary.  But for many, experience is worth more, in my opinion.

[Augie]

4 hours ago, Johnny Hammersticks said:

 

I am very similar.  I am actually quite outgoing, and can “work the room” pretty well at any type of social engagement.  The problem is, I don’t actually like too many people on more than a very superficial level.  It doesn’t stem from feelings of superiority or narcissism or anything like that, I just find most people to be annoying in large doses.  I have lived in Vermont for almost 5 years now, and I probably have 2 or 3 real friends that I would hang with.  

 

This sometimes is problematic for me, as my wife is SUPER outgoing type A personality.  She is probably more popular than the mayor of the town we live in, and has a zillion close friends that she hangs out with regularly.  She’s always trying to “hook me up” with her friends’ husbands/boyfriends after we go on couple dates ?.  

 

She’ll say “You should play golf with Dave some time!  You guys seemed to get along great!”  And my response is usually “Nah, Dave is a nice guy, but I don’t really think I want to be friends with him.”  It is very frustrating for her.

 

 

 

I’m curious...how did you meet the 2 or 3 close friends. (That is a realistic number - nobody has 20 “close” friends.)  After my youngest graduated from HS we moved immediately to Atlanta. (We were waiting for his graduation.) I soon realized that all my friends were made through my kids, their sports, their schools and my tennis club. Well, the kids are gone and there are no clubs here like that (for less than $100k or so). I got kind of close to a couple guys I worked with, but it’s just not practical as it takes roughly an hour to get to where either of them live. Now I’m not even working.  I found a nearby park with some guys I play some tennis with, but other than tennis we have zero in common. 

 

I’m comfortable with people, but I suck at names so that slows me down in a lot of situations. We attended a lot of events and I’ll have nice talks with the other 8 people at our table, while my wife disappears and works the other 300 in the room. That’s the routine. She can meet everyone in town, but like me has only a few close friends. Here in Atlanta she has one close friend (who moved up from Sarasota after we did) and I have zero. I visit friends in Florida and Cincinnati a few times a year (I have gotten texts from both of them today), and they come to see me. We are about 15 years younger than the average in our neighborhood and have only a little in common with a few people. 

 

THIS is high on the list of my shortcomings. I get pissed at the people who block the grocery store ailes too, but I need to learn how to make friends. It doesn’t just “happen” like it used to. I’m told 20 minutes away is about the cutoff to make friendships work. 

[RaoulDuke79]

4 hours ago, Johnny Hammersticks said:

 

I am very similar.  I am actually quite outgoing, and can “work the room” pretty well at any type of social engagement.  The problem is, I don’t actually like too many people on more than a very superficial level.  It doesn’t stem from feelings of superiority or narcissism or anything like that, I just find most people to be annoying in large doses.  I have lived in Vermont for almost 5 years now, and I probably have 2 or 3 real friends that I would hang with.  

 

This sometimes is problematic for me, as my wife is SUPER outgoing type A personality.  She is probably more popular than the mayor of the town we live in, and has a zillion close friends that she hangs out with regularly.  She’s always trying to “hook me up” with her friends’ husbands/boyfriends after we go on couple dates ?.  

 

She’ll say “You should play golf with Dave some time!  You guys seemed to get along great!”  And my response is usually “Nah, Dave is a nice guy, but I don’t really think I want to be friends with him.”  It is very frustrating for her.

 

 

I'm right there with ya. I can mix it up in just about any social situation from a raffle at the rod and gun club to professional gatherings with colleagues. With that being said it's not something I enjoy, and as you mentioned maybe 5 or 10% of the people I would consider socializing with if  I wasn't required to. My wife is very reserved. If we're out in a new scene it's completely on me to interact. It's a weird dynamic because I'm pretty much a hick from the sticks who never left home and she's traveled all over the world. 

[Gray Beard]

27 minutes ago, Augie said:

 

I’m curious...how did you meet the 2 or 3 close friends. (That is a realistic number - nobody has 20 “close” friends.)  After my youngest graduated from HS we moved immediately to Atlanta. (We were waiting for his graduation.) I soon realized that all my friends were made through my kids, their sports, their schools and my tennis club. Well, the kids are gone and there are no clubs here like that (for less than $100k or so). I got kind of close to a couple guys I worked with, but it’s just not practical as it takes roughly an hour to get to where either of them live. Now I’m not even working.  I found a nearby park with some guys I play some tennis with, but other than tennis we have zero in common. 

 

I’m comfortable with people, but I suck at names so that slows me down in a lot of situations. We attended a lot of events and I’ll have nice talks with the other 8 people at our table, while my wife disappears and works the other 300 in the room. That’s the routine. She can meet everyone in town, but like me has only a few close friends. Here in Atlanta she has one close friend (who moved up from Sarasota after we did) and I have zero. I visit friends in Florida and Cincinnati a few times a year (I have gotten texts from both of them today), and they come to see me. We are about 15 years younger than the average in our neighborhood and have only a little in common with a few people. 

 

THIS is high on the list of my shortcomings. I get pissed at the people who block the grocery store ailes too, but I need to learn how to make friends. It doesn’t just “happen” like it used to. I’m told 20 minutes away is about the cutoff to make friendships work. 

Based on my age and financial situation, I could retire if I want to.  One of the reasons why I am still working is that I have no significant social life outside of work (thus I spend way too much time on TDB).  I enjoy spending time with my wife, but she isn’t good at sarcasm or puns or current events or any sort of “guy humor” so I am nervous about losing my social interactions at work.  My kids are great, but they have their own lives and I can’t impose myself on them too much.  Even though I am comfortable around and enjoy my coworkers, they aren’t really friends who I would continue to have contact with after I retire.  Everyone says I should do charity work or join a club or something, but that sounds awkward and uncomfortable. 

[Misterbluesky]

2 hours ago, Gugny said:

 

The smaller the circle, the less drama and bull ****.  I learned that at a young age.  Most of my friends are people I became friends with as we were teens.  I rarely meet new people who become actual friends.  I can count ~5 in the past 15 years, or so and less than 10 in the last 25 years.

I could hang with you because we have a lot in common and we wouldn't have to wear out game faces. Talking Mets baseball,Bills football and our military days would have us in a corner table of a full room of drama,fake ass look at the pictures of my lawn types.Pitcher of beer..two glasses to start.I don't like very many people either but I enjoy a cool hang...I either get the vibe from the get go or I don't.

[Augie]

11 minutes ago, Gray Beard said:

Based on my age and financial situation, I could retire if I want to.  One of the reasons why I am still working is that I have no significant social life outside of work (thus I spend way too much time on TDB).  I enjoy spending time with my wife, but she isn’t good at sarcasm or puns or current events or any sort of “guy humor” so I am nervous about losing my social interactions at work.  My kids are great, but they have their own lives and I can’t impose myself on them too much.  Even though I am comfortable around and enjoy my coworkers, they aren’t really friends who I would continue to have contact with after I retire.  Everyone says I should do charity work or join a club or something, but that sounds awkward and uncomfortable. 

 

That sounds pretty familiar. I took a job at what I soon learned was a sweat shop run by rednecks for a couple years. They put up a deceptive front, but I learned what I was into within days. Regardless, I stayed almost 2 years just to have some comraderie. When they started clamping down and making it MORE miserable (they got testy when their lousy business was suffering a bit), I said I don’t need your crap. I feel for the poor people who had no options, but I walked. 

 

I’m looking at attending a local Rotary meeting (a hokie blast from my past), volunteering at the Humane Society and the upcoming Super Bowl, but Atlanta is such a big place you need people NEAR YOU, not in your city.  Some outsiders think I’ve got it made. I’d give almost anything to go back to my old life in Sarasota, but that will never happen. 

[Gray Beard]

11 minutes ago, Augie said:

 

That sounds pretty familiar. I took a job at what I soon learned was a sweat shop run by rednecks for a couple years. They put up a deceptive front, but I learned what I was into within days. Regardless, I stayed almost 2 years just to have some comraderie. When they started clamping down and making it MORE miserable (they got testy when their lousy business was suffering a bit), I said I don’t need your crap. I feel for the poor people who had no options, but I walked. 

 

I’m looking at attending a local Rotary meeting (a hokie blast from my past), volunteering at the Humane Society and the upcoming Super Bowl, but Atlanta is such a big place you need people NEAR YOU, not in your city.  Some outsiders think I’ve got it made. I’d give almost anything to go back to my old life in Sarasota, but that will never happen. 

I would not voluntarily leave Sarasota for Atlanta. 

I live in upstate NY so things are pretty close together. Small cities all along the Thruway. Utica, Herkimer, Oneida and Syracuse are all easy drives, with Utica being the closest. Old Forge in the summer. There are a lot of clubs, charities, gyms, adult ed, etc.  i used to belong to a hike and ski club. I should try to get back into that stuff, except my knees are old, stiff and sore. it’s just a matter of getting out of my comfort zone and deciding to try something. 

Orchard Park is an easy drive.  Less than four hours. My son goes to Bills games more often than I do. 

[Augie]

6 minutes ago, Gray Beard said:

 

I would not voluntarily leave Sarasota for Atlanta.

I live in upstate NY so things are pretty close together. Small cities all along the Thruway. Utica, Herkimer, Oneida and Syracuse are all easy drives, with Utica being the closest. Old Forge in the summer. There are a lot of clubs, charities, gyms, adult ed, etc.  i used to belong to a hike and ski club. I should try to get back into that stuff, except my knees are old, stiff and sore. it’s just a matter of getting out of my comfort zone and deciding to try something. 

Orchard Park is an easy drive.  Less than four hours. My son goes to Bills games more often than I do. 

 

I came kicking and screaming, but it was for my wife’s work...which is the reason I no longer need to work. The thing is, I used to LOVE my work. It’s one of the things I miss most.  Now the things I try are “jobs”, and I don’t love that as much. Our son is working here now and we moved my 90 year old mother up. No going back at this point! 

[bbb]

9 hours ago, Augie said:

 

I’m curious...how did you meet the 2 or 3 close friends. (That is a realistic number - nobody has 20 “close” friends.) 

 

I guess you're not from South Buffalo and didn't go to Bonas!  X must not be the same! 

[Another Fan]

This thread reminds me of this