Johnny Hammersticks Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 So I coach a varsity lacrosse team here in Vermont. I have a player who is one of my better players, but he is very immature, is a horrible student which makes him ineligible frequently, and he lies all the time to get out of practice. Up until now I have just ignored it. I don’t have the numbers to bench him when he does show, and I don’t think he has the best role models at home. He’s generally a pretty decent kid so I let him slide. If I confronted him he’d probably just quit. Anyway, yesterday (sat) was our final game of the season. I was already low on numbers with a couple kids injured. He texted me a few hours before the bus was supposed to leave and said that his grandfather had emergency surgery, and that he had to drive down alone to NY to be with him in the hospital because his parents couldn’t make it down there right away. I didn’t question him, and just wished him and his grandfather the best. Even though, deep down, I suspected that he was full of crap. I have a Facebook page set up to communicate with my players and parents, and this morning I noticed that he posted a picture of he and his friend trout fishing (caught some nice brookies). I commented on his photo “You’ll have to let me know your secret spot is, Pseudonym Paul. I hope your grandfather is on the mend. You’re a good kid for going down to support him in his time of need.” Either a nice comment or trap set ? I went out and mowed the lawn, and when I came back inside I checked my FB. Sure as hell, the next comment below mine is from his mother. “What the hell is going on, Pseudonymn Paul?!?! What is wrong with Papa? You didn’t go to NY...you had a bonfire with your friends last night in my backyard!!” I kinda feel guilty, but I kinda feel like he had it coming. Jerk move? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
holmz56 Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 You busted him ,fair and square !! I would've done the same thing !! He'd fit in with the Sabres lockeroom !! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 I'm sure 95% of the problem stems from his parents naming him Pseudonym Paul. I thought being named The Poojer was bad. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Jack Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 Totally fair. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boyst Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 You did so with the intent to instigate so it was a jerk move. If you did it whole heartedly it would be different but I support the move 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Hammersticks Posted May 27, 2018 Author Share Posted May 27, 2018 12 minutes ago, holmz56 said: You busted him ,fair and square !! I would've done the same thing !! He'd fit in with the Sabres lockeroom !! I know. I still feel just a little bit bad about it though. 1 minute ago, The Poojer said: I'm sure 95% of the problem stems from his parents naming him Pseudonym Paul. I thought being named The Poojer was bad. ? 3 minutes ago, Boyst62 said: You did so with the intent to instigate so it was a jerk move. If you did it whole heartedly it would be different but I support the move Fair point. Like I said, I don’t feel great about what I did but I couldn’t resist. One thing I failed to mention is that we had to forfeit our final game. My Athletic Director’s rule for lacrosse is that we have to forfeit if our roster drops below 13. He says it’s not safe to play the games with such low numbers. He would have made our 13th player. A lot of disappointed players including 4 seniors who lost their opportunity to play their final game on our home field. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gray Beard Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 You didn’t expect his mother to intercept your message. That partially lets you off the hook. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnC Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 32 minutes ago, Johnny Hammersticks said: So I coach a varsity lacrosse team here in Vermont. I have a player who is one of my better players, but he is very immature, is a horrible student which makes him ineligible frequently, and he lies all the time to get out of practice. Up until now I have just ignored it. I don’t have the numbers to bench him when he does show, and I don’t think he has the best role models at home. He’s generally a pretty decent kid so I let him slide. If I confronted him he’d probably just quit. Anyway, yesterday (sat) was our final game of the season. I was already low on numbers with a couple kids injured. He texted me a few hours before the bus was supposed to leave and said that his grandfather had emergency surgery, and that he had to drive down alone to NY to be with him in the hospital because his parents couldn’t make it down there right away. I didn’t question him, and just wished him and his grandfather the best. Even though, deep down, I suspected that he was full of crap. I have a Facebook page set up to communicate with my players and parents, and this morning I noticed that he posted a picture of he and his friend trout fishing (caught some nice brookies). I commented on his photo “You’ll have to let me know your secret spot is, Pseudonym Paul. I hope your grandfather is on the mend. You’re a good kid for going down to support him in his time of need.” Either a nice comment or trap set ? I went out and mowed the lawn, and when I came back inside I checked my FB. Sure as hell, the next comment below mine is from his mother. “What the hell is going on, Pseudonymn Paul?!?! What is wrong with Papa? You didn’t go to NY...you had a bonfire with your friends last night in my backyard!!” I kinda feel guilty, but I kinda feel like he had it coming. Jerk move? If he wasn't one of your more talented players would you put up with his deceit? The other players on the team know exactly that the manipulating and conniving player is not committed to the team and that you are giving allowances to him that you wouldn't give to the other less talented kids. At this level it isn't about winning and losing. It's about respecting the players that are there doing their best and not tolerating players that don't care about the team. Tell the kid to take a hike and not to come back. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Hammersticks Posted May 27, 2018 Author Share Posted May 27, 2018 1 minute ago, Gray Beard said: You didn’t expect his mother to intercept your message. That partially lets you off the hook. To be quite honest, I thought if he were telling the truth it would just be a nice gesture on my end. If he were lying, however, I fully expected that he would be called out by someone. Just now, JohnC said: If he wasn't one of your more talented players would you put up with his deceit? The other players on the team know exactly that the manipulating and conniving player is not committed to the team and that you are giving allowances to him that you wouldn't give to the other less talented kids. At this level it isn't about winning and losing. It's about respecting the players that are there doing their best and not tolerating players that don't care about the team. Tell the kid to take a hike and not to come back. My program is in shambles. No feeder program, and no support from the town rec program. I take what I can get. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnC Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 5 minutes ago, Johnny Hammersticks said: To be quite honest, I thought if he were telling the truth it would just be a nice gesture on my end. If he were lying, however, I fully expected that he would be called out by someone. My program is in shambles. No feeder program, and no support from the town rec program. I take what I can get. If your program is in shambles with him then wouldn't it be better to have the program in shambles without him? Less aggravation. When it gets to the point that you have to go on Facebook to trap him then you are being sucked into his world of foolishness. Losing with dignity is better than losing with indignity. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Hammersticks Posted May 27, 2018 Author Share Posted May 27, 2018 2 minutes ago, JohnC said: If your program is in shambles with him then wouldn't it be better to have the program in shambles without him? Less aggravation. When it gets to the point that you have to go on Facebook to trap him then you are being sucked into his world of foolishness. Losing with dignity is better than losing with indignity. I don’t suspect that he will be back next year ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnC Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 Just now, Johnny Hammersticks said: I don’t suspect that he will be back next year ? You must be relieved. ? As in most endeavors success is predicated on desire as it is on talent. I get the impression that there isn't much you can do to motivate this kid and change his attitude. It is an internal force. I'm sure he is a good kid but he is what he is and is what he will be, at least from a personality standpoint. I salute you for working with the kids. You may not be aware how influential you are with the kids, but you are. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob's House Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 I don't think it was a jerk move at all. In fact, I think it was pretty slick. The kid sounds like a self-absorbed dick who doesn't care how his actions affect others. You did him a favor by calling him out. Hopefully he learned a lesson. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LB3 Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 (edited) Great move. That kid needs to learn, never tell a lie that can be verified...or don't lie...yeah....that's what i meant. Edited May 27, 2018 by LBSeeBallLBGetBall 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo_Gal Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 Not a jerk move at all. He has an obligation to his teammates if he signs up to participate in a sport. If he doesn't wish to participate, he should quit. If anything, the "jerk move" was his... going fishing and disappointing his teammates who had to forfeit due to his selfishness is a total "jerk move". He's lucky you didn't call his parents to check on the grandfather and offer your best wishes on a full recovery. (I would have.) 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
May Day 10 Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 I think you thought him a good lesson. He is the jerk. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhoTom Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 (edited) The jerk move was on the player, not you. He let his teammates down, lied to his coach, and then was stupid/arrogant enough to post it on social media. He needed to be called out and you did it. That's good coaching. Edited May 28, 2018 by WhoTom 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Hammersticks Posted May 28, 2018 Author Share Posted May 28, 2018 21 minutes ago, WhoTom said: The jerk move was on the player, not you. He let his teammates down, lied to his coach, and then was stupid/arrogant enough to post it on social media. He needed to be called out and you did it. That's good coaching. I know! The balls on that kid! He’s not a very good liar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeF Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 You are Brandon Beane and Sean McDermott riding your roster of Marcell Dareus ? Not a jerk -- just a reducing your "pain in the ass" cap.. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YoloinOhio Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 No. It’s a coach move. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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