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Posted

Pop quiz hot shot. After 3 days of constipation you finally get some relief. Unfortunately when this happens you do not have home court advantage, you are at work. You make a mad dash for the handicap stall because you know you are going to need the extra room. After 5 minutes of child birth like pain you drop something that looks like it came out of Andre the giant. You know there is no way in hell that thing is going to flush. You probably only have minutes if not seconds before somebody else walks in and identifies you by your shoes. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?!?!

Posted

My name is Travis and I really want to be a starting running back next year but I am unwilling to co-operate with efforts to trade me. Should I accept my role as a back-up for one more year and then explore free-agency the next season?

Posted
My name is Travis and I really want to be a starting running back next year but I am unwilling to co-operate with efforts to trade me.  Should I accept my role as a back-up for one more year and then explore free-agency the next season?

269718[/snapback]

11 story jump, 10 story building. :o

Posted
What's the difference between an anthropologist and a geologist?

269689[/snapback]

The anthropologist is the one who skipped his 4pm Earth Science lecture to watch the Simpson's reruns.

Posted

Hey AD, first time caller here.

 

I just got this email from a girl who is an ex-co worker. I always liked her, but she seemed to be interested in only being friends. haven't seen her in a year. We had lunch a week ago. I suggested we meet at the park for brown bag lunch soon.

 

this is her reply:

 

Kiwanis park? nice lake there, do you want me to bring you a PB&J?

 

here is my dilema. I can hardly hold back from snappy come backs, no matter how raunchy or off base. I feel the urge to reply "sure, but hold the P"

 

so should I test the waters or risk scaring her off?

 

hurry, she's waiting for my reply.

Posted
Pop quiz hot shot. After 3 days of constipation you finally get some relief. Unfortunately when this happens you do not have home court advantage, you are at work. You make a mad dash for the handicap stall because you know you are going to need the extra room. After 5 minutes of child birth like pain you drop something that looks like it came out of Andre the giant. You know there is no way in hell that thing is going to flush. You probably only have minutes if not seconds before somebody else walks in and identifies you by your shoes. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?!?!

269716[/snapback]

 

Wow, you can surf the Net on the terlet at work? Cool.

Posted
Hey AD, first time caller here.

 

I just got this email from a girl who is an ex-co worker. I always liked her, but she seemed to be interested in only being friends. haven't seen her in a year. We had lunch a week ago. I suggested we meet at the park for brown bag lunch soon.

 

this is her reply:

here is my dilema. I can hardly hold back from snappy come backs, no matter how raunchy or off base. I feel the urge to reply "sure, but hold the P"

 

so should I test the waters or risk scaring her off?

 

hurry, she's waiting for my reply.

269728[/snapback]

 

I'd do it just for the sheer obnoxiousness of it all!!

 

:o

Posted

How can some posters have the grammar level of a 1st grader, yet insist they know everything about every player in the NFL ? Is there a Daycare Scouting Organization I'm not aware of ?

Posted
My name is Michael Jackson.  I blew off court this morning, and now the Judge is pi$$ed.  What should I do?

269661[/snapback]

 

I'd moonwalk into court and serenade the judge with a little PYT.

Posted
How can some posters have the grammer level of a 1st grader, yet insist they know everything about every player in the NFL ? Is there a Daycare Scouting Organization I'm not aware of ?

269739[/snapback]

 

Not everyone is as multi-talented as you, Mark. So grammar is required, spelling is optional, check.

Posted
Being gentler and kinder sucks. Any suggestions on how to appear gentler and kinder without having to make the effort?

269749[/snapback]

 

Yes. Replace your avatar with a photo of Grandma Moses.

Posted
should i spend 50 dollars at the bar tonight or 60? (fyi its cheap drinks tonight at my campus bar)

269706[/snapback]

All depends on the quality of ladies and the likelihood of scoring from same. Just remember, a 2 at 10 isn't a 10 at 2.

Posted
Who will be our next American Idol?

 

Second question: How soon before your head explodes after reading this question?  :o

269708[/snapback]

1. An unnamed US service member. His name won't be important because he doesn't desire the worship of the masses anyway.

 

2. It's my show, baby.

Posted
Being gentler and kinder sucks. Any suggestions on how to appear gentler and kinder without having to make the effort?

269749[/snapback]

 

 

 

TBD's Ignore Feature: The Internet's No-nonsense sh-- Filter. :o

Posted
....When you shoot cats,do you export the carcasses to chinese restaurants,or do you just make hand warmers out of the fur??

269711[/snapback]

If there is something left to "export", you're not doing it right.

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