Augie Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 I got at least one text or phone call from Michael about the Buffalo Bills probably 360 days a year. He had a Buffalo Bills tattoo on his arm. He had a closet full of Bills gear. I’m wearing one of his game day Bills shirts. He got text alerts any time there was Bills news that he would immediately pass on to me. He had a Bruce Smith jersey on his casket. He waited 18 years to see them back in the playoffs, but came up just short. I’m watching the Bills/Jags game with my younger son, but it’s just not the same without our phones blowing up.... 1
DC Tom Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 14 minutes ago, Augie said: I got at least one text or phone call from Michael about the Buffalo Bills probably 360 days a year. He had a Buffalo Bills tattoo on his arm. He had a closet full of Bills gear. I’m wearing one of his game day Bills shirts. He got text alerts any time there was Bills news that he would immediately pass on to me. He had a Bruce Smith jersey on his casket. He waited 18 years to see them back in the playoffs, but came up just short. I’m watching the Bills/Jags game with my younger son, but it’s just not the same without our phones blowing up.... Post your numbers, we'll be happy to blow up your phone... 1
Augie Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 2 minutes ago, DC Tom said: Post your numbers, we'll be happy to blow up your phone... Haha! But we actually liked HIM! 4
DC Tom Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 3 minutes ago, Augie said: Haha! But we actually liked HIM! Glad you still have your sense of humor. That's important. 3 1
YoloinOhio Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 I just saw this. I have no words, but a lot of prayers. 1
NoSaint Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 You are one of my favs here aug. and it’s because you are very genuine, thoughtful and clearly caring guy. i hate hearing that this came to be, but so glad you were able to spend time with him and see him doing well and happy the last few years. Sending all my best your way. 3
boyst Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 I didn't see this with the weekend rush to Jacksonville and being busy. This real upset me. I met him in Atlanta with you just a few months ago. He was so happy, polite and fun. So young and seemed like such a nice guy. I still have his number on my phone as "Augies son." This really upset me when Plenz mentioned it. I am sorry for your lost and feel honored to have met him and share that game with you two. Go Bills!
The Poojer Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 Can't even imagine what the family is going through and what they have gone through. Thoughts are with you. Stay strong and I hope this helps at least one person or family that is going through the same thing.
Guffalo Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 Augie, so sorry for your loss, prayers to you and your family.
row_33 Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 so sorry to read about this Augie, a lifelong friend lost his 31 year old son to this as well in the fall, find strength in an inner circle that will be there for you.
shrader Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 I never have any clue what to say when I read stuff like this. Best wishes to you and your family with everything you're going to go through in the upcoming days/weeks/years.
Augie Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 9 hours ago, Boyst62 said: I didn't see this with the weekend rush to Jacksonville and being busy. This real upset me. I met him in Atlanta with you just a few months ago. He was so happy, polite and fun. So young and seemed like such a nice guy. I still have his number on my phone as "Augies son." This really upset me when Plenz mentioned it. I am sorry for your lost and feel honored to have met him and share that game with you two. Go Bills! You were texting with the younger son Alex. Michael was a much bigger version, but very similar. Michael’s 4 year old son saw Alex a few days ago, after Michael had passed, and he was momentarily stunned thinking it might be Dada. It broke my heart....again. 1
Royale with Cheese Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 Augie....I'm so sorry to hear this. On 1/6/2018 at 10:59 PM, Augie said: Thank you to everyone for your kind words and prayers. Obviously, this has been the most difficult period in my life. If we had gotten word in the middle of the night years ago that he had died, I would have been just as devastated, but less shocked. He has thrived in the past few years. This just goes to show the evil nature of addiction. Thinking you are doing better is a trap. I asked @Plenz to put out a post because I have a couple major points I want to share. (Thank you Paul! I was incapable at the time, and barely limping along now.) The first point is we need to learn to be open and talk about addiction. It’s everywhere! It is all around us, but people don’t like to talk about it. They feel a sense of shame, and want to sweep it under the rug so they don’t have to face the “stigma”. I can’t count the number of people who have reached out and said “thank you for being open about it”. We are NOT ashamed, in fact we are proud of how many families we have helped! Because we are open, we’ve had MANY families we barely know come to us seeking advice, or just someone to talk to who would not judge them. If it helps ONE person, it is worth it. Which leads to the second point I want to share. DO NOT JUDGE! You have NO idea what these individuals and families have been dealing with. We have gotten a flood of calls and messages from people who said “you know what, I’m hooked on coke and painkillers”. Or “I’ve been in recovery for 7 years, but I still struggle every day”. But these people only speak of it privately. There’s usually a story behind it. One guy is gay and single and lonely because everywhere he goes people are couples. His parents no longer approve of him. One young lady has never met her mother, who was raped when she was 12 by her brother’s 15 year old friend. THAT was how she was conceived. Her mother will promise to meet her in person, but has been a no-show countless times. The stories go on and on. Not that that is the only reason people get there, but YOU DON’T KNOW. It’s not an excuse, but it may be an explanation. Our son was abused at a young age in ways we were completely unaware of for many, many years. How we learned is too painful to share at this point. So, again, I thank all of you for your support. Michael was a great kid and a great person. I will love him forever! We tried to do a quiet little service in Nashville, but word got out. The funeral home had to bring in additional chairs four times, until they actually ran out of space and it was SRO with people out in other rooms. At the luncheon that followed the luncheon room overflowed and they had to open a ballroom! People loved this kid! You would have too! Michael worked as an admissions counselor at a mental health and addiction facility. My favorite guests were the people who said “I had to be here, he saved my life!” My message to them, and anyone else battling addiction is take care of yourself first. My son died because he tried to take care of everyone else, and forgot to take care of himself. Again, thank you for your thoughts and prayers. (Sorry it’s so long...only Nervous Guy usually gets subjected to that, but he’s a good sport! God bless Danny! ) I think addiction is the most powerful thing in the world. It consumes so many lives, ruins so many lives and they just can't stop. I'm just so sorry Augie.
Misterbluesky Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 I'm new here but this news still hits home.Augie,stay strong brother...I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Dante Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 I'm so sorry for your loss. Unimaginable emotions to endure. I have a niece I would not be surprised if we got a call someday. The collateral damage addiction causes is something I never really considered before until recently. All the best to you and your family.
Augie Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 (edited) 4 hours ago, Dante said: I'm so sorry for your loss. Unimaginable emotions to endure. I have a niece I would not be surprised if we got a call someday. The collateral damage addiction causes is something I never really considered before until recently. All the best to you and your family. The first time we took Michael to rehab (for a month at $1,000/day - the first of many) we went to Hazledon in Minneapolis. There was a parents & family weekend where they did a presentation using a hanging mobile like you would find over a baby’s crib. I won’t do this justice, but when one part gets out of whack, it affects everything else. They put a small weight on one hanging part of the mobile and everything else tipped. This is what happens to the family dynamics. Our son did everything possible to drive a wedge between me and my wife. It worked for a while, until we figured it out (with help). If we are focused on our differences, he can skate by as we are not focused on him and his behavior. Then the troubled child gets so much attention the healthy child gets less attention. Our relationships with our parents change because we are trying to avoid greater anguish if they know just how bad the situation is. We go to work in a fog after a sleepless night and sit through the sales meeting asking ourselves “I wonder if he’s alive?” No one else in the room knows how you are hurting. I was playing tennis with a close friend one day, and I had to leave in the middle of a set as a wave of grief came over me. I didn’t have to explain it, he just asked “what has Michael done now?” I was too choked up to talk, and he understood. It goes on and on. The collateral damage is devastating. But despite all that I love him with all my heart. I miss him desperately. That wasn’t him, that was the addiction. There is a difference. I hope people can make that distinction. When he was able to just be himself, he was my favorite person on the planet. These last few years of seeing him blossom have been a gift from God. The extremes made it a rough ride, but now he’s at peace. Edited January 9, 2018 by Augie 4
Gordio Posted January 9, 2018 Posted January 9, 2018 14 hours ago, Augie said: The first time we took Michael to rehab (for a month at $1,000/day - the first of many) we went to Hazledon in Minneapolis. There was a parents & family weekend where they did a presentation using a hanging mobile like you would find over a baby’s crib. I won’t do this justice, but when one part gets out of whack, it affects everything else. They put a small weight on one hanging part of the mobile and everything else tipped. This is what happens to the family dynamics. Our son did everything possible to drive a wedge between me and my wife. It worked for a while, until we figured it out (with help). If we are focused on our differences, he can skate by as we are not focused on him and his behavior. Then the troubled child gets so much attention the healthy child gets less attention. Our relationships with our parents change because we are trying to avoid greater anguish if they know just how bad the situation is. We go to work in a fog after a sleepless night and sit through the sales meeting asking ourselves “I wonder if he’s alive?” No one else in the room knows how you are hurting. I was playing tennis with a close friend one day, and I had to leave in the middle of a set as a wave of grief came over me. I didn’t have to explain it, he just asked “what has Michael done now?” I was too choked up to talk, and he understood. It goes on and on. The collateral damage is devastating. But despite all that I love him with all my heart. I miss him desperately. That wasn’t him, that was the addiction. There is a difference. I hope people can make that distinction. When he was able to just be himself, he was my favorite person on the planet. These last few years of seeing him blossom have been a gift from God. The extremes made it a rough ride, but now he’s at peace. That sounds absolutely horrible. I hope I never have to go thru something like that with my kids. It is heartbreaking that good people/good parents like yourself & your wife have to go thru something like that. You guys didn't deserve that. My condolences. RIP Michael.
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