Political Joke Thread

[ExiledInIllinois]

Figure I put it here so as not to offend the PC Snowflakes:

 

Backstory: Dale Earnhardt Jr. comes out against PC Trumpster and his presidential rodeo clown act.

 

http://time.com/4955774/nascar-trump-protest-dale-earnhardt-jr/

 

 

So the joke:

 

Why does Jr. (Earnhardt) hate Donald Trump?

 

His father was killed by a wall.

 

 

Too soon?

 

 

Did Jr. just pull a "Dixie Chicks?"

[Tiberius]

All Americans R granted rights 2 peaceful protests
Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable-JFK

- Dale Earnhardt Jr. (@DaleJr) September 25, 2017

 

Did someone say Dixie Chicks?

 

Sunday morning, I heard the preacher say
Thou shall not kill
I don't wanna hear nothing else about killing
And that it's God's will

'Cause our children are watching us
They put their trust in us
They're gonna be like us
So let's learn from our history
And do it differently

I hope for more love, more joy and laughter
I hope we'll have more than we'll ever need
I hope we'll have more 'happy ever after'
I hope we can all live more fearlessly
And we can lose all the pain and misery
I hope, I hope

Oh, Rosie; her man - he gets too rough
That's all she can say: is he's a good man
He don't mean no harm
He was just brought up that way

But our children are watching us
They put their trust in us
They're gonna be like us
It's okay for us to disagree
We…

And for a joke:

 

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

[Koko78]

Aren't jokes generally supposed to be funny?

[Tiberius]

Aren't jokes generally supposed to be funny?

I thought my joke was funny

[grinreaper]

Looks like this thread is a good place for me to advertise my canned laughter business.

[/dev/null]

So the Obamacare bureaucrat said Rectum? It damn near killed him!

[Tiberius]

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me." The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me." The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700." The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?" The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence." "Done!" replies the government official. And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.

[Azalin]

My mother, the congresswoman, is so fat that when she sits around the house of representatives, she really sits around the house of representatives.