DC Tom Posted September 23, 2017 Posted September 23, 2017 I have a good networking joke about UDP, but some of you probably wouldn't get it. I have a good P2PP joke, but I can only PM it...
ExiledInIllinois Posted September 23, 2017 Posted September 23, 2017 (edited) I have a good P2PP joke, but I can only PM it... See. Exhibit A. That's actually kinda funny and even I got it without cheating. And... I am a neo-Luddite, simpleton. That's probably why I got it! :-) Edited September 23, 2017 by ExiledInIllinois
ExiledInIllinois Posted September 23, 2017 Posted September 23, 2017 What was the worst thing ever said of "Leave it to Beaver?" ..."Gee Ward, weren't you a little hard on the Beaver last night." Did I just post this? LoL...
Kevbeau Posted September 23, 2017 Posted September 23, 2017 A mathematician walks into a bar with a steering wheel coming out of his trousers. He walks up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender looks at him and says "I'll get you that beer, but first you gotta tell me what the steering wheel is for." The mathematician thinks for a moment, and says "Visualize me as a pirate," reducing the joke to a previously told form... That's some funny $&@!
BUFFALOKIE Posted September 23, 2017 Posted September 23, 2017 A farmer asks an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician to design a fence that encloses the most area with the least fencing. The engineer tells him: simple, just build the fence in a circle, it's most efficient. The physicist tells him: build the fence in a straight line, and assume it's infinite. We can then wrap the fence around a geodesic with a center corresponding to the center of the earth, and fence off half the earth. The mathematician builds a very small fence around himself and says "I declare myself to be outside the fence." I like this one!
SinceThe70s Posted September 29, 2017 Posted September 29, 2017 A guy finds a genie bottle, rubs it and the genie appears and tells the guy: "I will grant you three wishes. However, I know that you are divorced and you should know that whatever wishes I grant you, your ex-wife will receive the same but two-fold". The guy is so excited about his good fortune he blurts out: I want a beautiful new house on the beach! Poof, he gets his new house but the genie informs him that his ex-wife now has two new beautiful homes on the beach. The guy presses on and asks for a billion dollars. Poof, the money appears but the genie informs him that his ex-wife now has 2 billion dollars. The guy is happy for himself but pissed about his ex wife. With one wish left he thinks long and hard until he makes his third request: I want you to beat me half to death.
Fan in San Diego Posted September 29, 2017 Posted September 29, 2017 A guy finds a genie bottle, rubs it and the genie appears and tells the guy: "I will grant you three wishes. However, I know that you are divorced and you should know that whatever wishes I grant you, your ex-wife will receive the same but two-fold". The guy is so excited about his good fortune he blurts out: I want a beautiful new house on the beach! Poof, he gets his new house but the genie informs him that his ex-wife now has two new beautiful homes on the beach. The guy presses on and asks for a billion dollars. Poof, the money appears but the genie informs him that his ex-wife now has 2 billion dollars. The guy is happy for himself but pissed about his ex wife. With one wish left he thinks long and hard until he makes his third request: I want you to beat me half to death. Ohhhhh! Harsh!
LeviF Posted September 29, 2017 Posted September 29, 2017 A guy finds a genie bottle, rubs it and the genie appears and tells the guy: "I will grant you three wishes. However, I know that you are divorced and you should know that whatever wishes I grant you, your ex-wife will receive the same but two-fold". The guy is so excited about his good fortune he blurts out: I want a beautiful new house on the beach! Poof, he gets his new house but the genie informs him that his ex-wife now has two new beautiful homes on the beach. The guy presses on and asks for a billion dollars. Poof, the money appears but the genie informs him that his ex-wife now has 2 billion dollars. The guy is happy for himself but pissed about his ex wife. With one wish left he thinks long and hard until he makes his third request: I want you to beat me half to death. I thought the end would be him asking for a 10 inch shlong
Gugny Posted September 29, 2017 Posted September 29, 2017 I thought the end would be him asking for a 10 inch shlong What's the over/under on TBD members who had to get a calculator?
LeviF Posted September 29, 2017 Posted September 29, 2017 What's the over/under on TBD members who had to get a calculator? Boyst.5
ChevyVanMiller Posted September 29, 2017 Posted September 29, 2017 Q: What do you call a scarecrow that is great at his job?A: He is outstanding in his field.
BadLandsMeanie Posted October 29, 2017 Posted October 29, 2017 A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a lisence First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' 'Can you read this?' the optician asked. 'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'
SlimShady'sSpaceForce Posted October 31, 2017 Posted October 31, 2017 Savior Peterman said he was a Bills Fan
GoBills808 Posted October 31, 2017 Posted October 31, 2017 My girlfriend left me the other day, told me I was ignorant and misogynistic. I said, 'B word, I don't even know what that means'.
Bob Lamb Posted November 2, 2017 Posted November 2, 2017 The Past, Present & Future walk into a bar. Things got tense.
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