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Posted (edited)

 

I have a good P2PP joke, but I can only PM it...

See. Exhibit A.

 

That's actually kinda funny and even I got it without cheating. And... I am a neo-Luddite, simpleton. That's probably why I got it! :-)

Edited by ExiledInIllinois
Posted

A mathematician walks into a bar with a steering wheel coming out of his trousers. He walks up to the bartender and orders a beer.

 

The bartender looks at him and says "I'll get you that beer, but first you gotta tell me what the steering wheel is for."

 

The mathematician thinks for a moment, and says "Visualize me as a pirate," reducing the joke to a previously told form...

That's some funny $&@!

Posted

 

A farmer asks an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician to design a fence that encloses the most area with the least fencing.

The engineer tells him: simple, just build the fence in a circle, it's most efficient.

The physicist tells him: build the fence in a straight line, and assume it's infinite. We can then wrap the fence around a geodesic with a center corresponding to the center of the earth, and fence off half the earth.

The mathematician builds a very small fence around himself and says "I declare myself to be outside the fence."

I like this one!

Posted

A guy finds a genie bottle, rubs it and the genie appears and tells the guy: "I will grant you three wishes. However, I know that you are divorced and you should know that whatever wishes I grant you, your ex-wife will receive the same but two-fold".

 

The guy is so excited about his good fortune he blurts out: I want a beautiful new house on the beach! Poof, he gets his new house but the genie informs him that his ex-wife now has two new beautiful homes on the beach.

 

The guy presses on and asks for a billion dollars. Poof, the money appears but the genie informs him that his ex-wife now has 2 billion dollars.

 

The guy is happy for himself but pissed about his ex wife. With one wish left he thinks long and hard until he makes his third request:

 

I want you to beat me half to death.

Posted

A guy finds a genie bottle, rubs it and the genie appears and tells the guy: "I will grant you three wishes. However, I know that you are divorced and you should know that whatever wishes I grant you, your ex-wife will receive the same but two-fold".

 

The guy is so excited about his good fortune he blurts out: I want a beautiful new house on the beach! Poof, he gets his new house but the genie informs him that his ex-wife now has two new beautiful homes on the beach.

 

The guy presses on and asks for a billion dollars. Poof, the money appears but the genie informs him that his ex-wife now has 2 billion dollars.

 

The guy is happy for himself but pissed about his ex wife. With one wish left he thinks long and hard until he makes his third request:

 

I want you to beat me half to death.

 

Ohhhhh! Harsh!

Posted

A guy finds a genie bottle, rubs it and the genie appears and tells the guy: "I will grant you three wishes. However, I know that you are divorced and you should know that whatever wishes I grant you, your ex-wife will receive the same but two-fold".

 

The guy is so excited about his good fortune he blurts out: I want a beautiful new house on the beach! Poof, he gets his new house but the genie informs him that his ex-wife now has two new beautiful homes on the beach.

 

The guy presses on and asks for a billion dollars. Poof, the money appears but the genie informs him that his ex-wife now has 2 billion dollars.

 

The guy is happy for himself but pissed about his ex wife. With one wish left he thinks long and hard until he makes his third request:

 

I want you to beat me half to death.

 

I thought the end would be him asking for a 10 inch shlong :lol:

Posted

 

I thought the end would be him asking for a 10 inch shlong :lol:

 

What's the over/under on TBD members who had to get a calculator?

  • 5 weeks later...
Posted

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a lisence

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed him a card with the letters

'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

'Can you read this?' the optician asked.

'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'

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