HappyDays Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 This has been some thread. Funny part: *I* am the original author of the OP's predictions. At the outset of each season, my brother and I exchange predictions (with oddly specific details thrown in here and there), game by game. Each year, his predictions are wildly optimistic. ("10-and-6! Playoffs baby! This is the year!")... and each year, I refute his wild optimism with a harsh dose of bitter cynicism. This year, I decided on a preemptive strike, hitting him with my grumpy take before he got his out. My knucklehead brother -- the OP -- was so entertained that he decided to share my outlook on four decades of Bills fandom with this community as if the predictions were his own... going so far as to defend its contents against the many slings and arrows... which is funny because he's actually the one of us who suffers from AEO - Annual Excessive Optimism. BTW, apologies for forgetting the Chargers' move to LA. I *don't* apologize for making fun of Jim Nantz and Phil Simms though. Like many in this forum, I've been a Bills fan for as long as I can remember. 70's Dolphin hate... We're talkin proud, Ground Chuck, Joe Cribbs... through the darkest of Dark Ages, aka the Kay Stephenson and Hank Bullough years... the glory years of Bruuuuce/Kelly/Thurman/Reed/Tasker/Levy/Bennett/Talley/Lofton, all those unheralded studs like Phil Hansen, and the best GM in the business, Bill Polian... and of course, the last two decades of mediocrity, peppered with glimmers of hope from guys like Doug Flutie, Eric Moulds, and Drew Bledsoe. I have college age kids who were not alive for the last Bills playoff win. My youngest son is asking if he can root for another team (answer: no! But I love that he asks for permission). I've gotten to the point where emotional investment is getting more challenging with each passing year. I've contemplated writing to the FO to say "I'm sick of this crap. I'm done. Call me when you're good again" but I stop short of that because (a) that would certify me as an old crank and (b) I don't buy stamps anymore. I'll keep pulling for the Bills. And I'll hang onto my cynicism until the boys on the field and in the front office convince me otherwise. Maybe this is the year!
Albwan Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 I'm just confounded at the complete and utter futility of this organization. It seems to me that its got to be harder to just be consistently terrible, than to luck out at least once every 10-15 years and make the playoffs. Seriously I'm not trolling, I just don't get it. We all loved the 90's Bills, heck that's why I became a fan ... but WOW talk about having the proverbial rug pulled out from under you for decades....
bisonbrigade Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 Worst case scenarios would be any record between 6-10 to 9-7. Anything below 6-10 would mean a chance to draft a possible franchise QB which would be great. Anything 10-6 or better would mean a playoff spot. Anything in between means the same stuff different year.
teef Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 I'm just confounded at the complete and utter futility of this organization. It seems to me that its got to be harder to just be consistently terrible, than to luck out at least once every 10-15 years and make the playoffs. Seriously I'm not trolling, I just don't get it. We all loved the 90's Bills, heck that's why I became a fan ... but WOW talk about having the proverbial rug pulled out from under you for decades.... what do you want from us?
DC Tom Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 I love people who think they can predict a regular season OT win in the preseason.
Albwan Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 what do you want from us? Not a single thing, I never even realized anyone read what I posted, I'm just practicing typing skills.
teef Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 Not a single thing, I never even realized anyone read what I posted, I'm just practicing typing skills. i'm buying you a beer.
Captain Murica Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 i'm buying you a beer. Screw that, buy him a male stripper.
teef Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 Screw that, buy him a male stripper. maybe the male stripper could bring him beers. another poster, likei've and i have discussed getting male prostitutes and bringing them to the game. not to have sex with them or anything, but rather so we can get really drunk and make them run around while we throw full beer cans at them.
Gunsgoodtime Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 Sorry guys, I know this is off topic, but it's better than creating a thread. Can a mod pm me please? I have a question. Thanks in advance We are always a 10 win/playoff team around this time of year! At least in the minds of most posters here. I will be happy with simple improvement. Greater discipline, elimination of stupid penalties, maybe some growth from Tyrod, much improved D play, must better in-game management from the coating staff... If those things happen it will be a successful, interim season. I have to agree with this statement.
stinky finger Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 And says he's a "fan" The Saints, Chargers, Chiefs and Bengals games are more winnable than you give credit for. The Dolphins are just a notch above the Jets too. Did you actually see the Saints and Chargers play last year? What exactly are you worried about with them? What do you think the Bengals, Chargers, Chiefs, saints are thinking when they see mighty Buffalo on their schedule? I find people who proclaim to be fans in their screen name are often the most negative. Betting the the ranch 11-5 or 5-11?
Beast Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 So, the Bills are going to go from ranking 11th overall in points to what would 26th based off where last years teams finished. Seems legit. Especially when the Bills returned the vast majority of that offense. Actually, I lied. Your predictions suck.
Big Gun Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 What do you think the Bengals, Chargers, Chiefs, saints are thinking when they see mighty Buffalo on their schedule? Oh without a doubt, W.
DirtDart Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 (edited) title change now seems appropriate yet there are those who may feel offended as they may not be horrible, but they too seem to only see 4-5 wins. so that's fun to you? pathetic take, really pathetic... Why is my take pathetic? Because it doesn't match that of the majority? Edited August 10, 2017 by DirtDart
PromoTheRobot Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 If you want to go back to last year we got sweeped by the Dolphins and Jets, what's thar say about the Bills? Sh**ty coaching.
DirtDart Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 Wow, the overly optimistic Bills fans sure whine a lot. How can you get so damn upset over a 5-11 prediction when the past nearly two decades has been just that? I don't get it. You guys get fooled season after season... Thankfully...
Hapless Bills Fan Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 Worst case scenarios would be any record between 6-10 to 9-7. Anything below 6-10 would mean a chance to draft a possible franchise QB which would be great. Anything 10-6 or better would mean a playoff spot. Anything in between means the same stuff different year. Some truth to this
BaaadThingsMan Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 Week 1 vs NYJ: bad vs worse. Tyrod throws for 225, runs for 100. Shady breaks off a couple long ones. The Jests turn it over 5x. Expectations in western NY immediately get way out of hand. W 33-9 Week 2 @ Carolina: McDermott returns home, and gets drubbed. LB corps immediately exposed as Cam spreads the field and runs for 90 yds. The Panthers go nuts with screen passes, converting several 3rd and longs. Big day for Carolina TEs -- which will become a theme for the season. L 31-13 Week 3 vs Denver: a grinder of a game. Denver D is stingy against the run-heavy Bills, but the Denver O is inept against a sad Bills defensive unit. Field goals rule the day. Expectations again soar for no good reason. Upset W 15-12 in OT. Week 4 @ Atlanta: A beatdown, in every facet of the game. L 44-10 Week 5 @ Cincy: it's the game they can never win. Gutsy effort from Shady, but Tyrod limps off in the 3rd quarter, and things unravel quickly as TJ Yates reminds the world why he's not starting. L 24-20 Week 6 BYE Week 7 vs Tampa, aka the new hotness in the NFL. Winston has people on the Florida gulf coast talking playoffs. Wheels begin to wobble in earnest in WNY. Tyrod is back under center, throwing less and less accurately with each passing Sunday, due in part to a lack of competent receivers. L 33-17 Week 8 vs Oak-Vegas: Tears continue to be shed because the Bills braintrust passed over Khalil Mack, a guy in their backyard from UB, who supplants Von Miller as the most productive LB in football. Another thumping. Tyrod gets injured trying to do too much running, b/c his receivers can't get open. Sal Maiorana gets even more whiny. L 34-9 Week 9 at NYJ: TJ Yates creates QB controversy by playing well against a very bad team. Season sweep of the Jets costs the Bills the #1 pick in the draft, because they can't even be bad effectively. W 24-17 Week 10 vs New Orleans: back and forth affair with Tyrod back in action. Neither defense can stop the other: Saints in the air, Bills on the ground. Last team with the ball wins. Surprise W 34-31 Week 11 @ San Diego: The Chargers can still throw the ball. Screens and tight ends kill the weak middle of the Bills D. Shady is still beautiful to watch though. L 27-20 Week 12 @ Kansas City: once again, the Bills just can't beat these guys. Ugly game. L 19-17 Week 13 vs New England: the Bills play an inspired first quarter, jumping out to a 17-0 lead. CBS sends its #1 team to broadcast the game because Tom Brady! Jim Nantz and Phil Simms openly root for the Pats, exchanging warm hugs as Belichick makes a few simple adjustments that totally confound the Bills' coaching staff. Pats tight ends top 150 receiving yards. Gillislee runs for 180. Tyrod leaves in the 2nd quarter with another knee injury. Jimmy Garoppolo plays the 4th quarter because the Pats have already clinched home field throughout the playoffs, and CBS needs Tom Brady to hold still a while so they can worship him, zooming in on his chin dimple just so. L 44-17 Week 14 vs Indy: Why not try Peterman at QB? Here's why: L 33-10 Week 15 vs Miami: Who made this crazy schedule? Miami in weeks 15 and 17? NE in weeks 13 and 16? This just in: Jay Cutler actually isn't the worst QB in the league. Their D isn't bad, there are some WR weapons on this team, and Jayiii Ajayiiii is very good when healthy. But on this day, everything goes right. Tyrod looks really good, Shady goes off. W 34-13 Week 16 @ New England: Garoppolo, no Brady. Doesn't matter. CBS does live look-ins on this game, just to show Tom Brady wearing a knit cap and cheering for lil Jimmy. L 24-16 Week 17 @ Miami: If no one shows up to watch a football game, does it make a sound? L 31-21 So that's... 5-11. Nah
Jay_Fixit Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 maybe the male stripper could bring him beers. another poster, likei've and i have discussed getting male prostitutes and bringing them to the game. not to have sex with them or anything, but rather so we can get really drunk and make them run around while we throw full beer cans at them. I bet likeI've doesn't even know which arm he throws with.
T-Bomb Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 (edited) when was the last time a 5-11 season actually happened, and do you think this is a 5-11 team? i'm going to guess this team is an 8-8 team, with no playoffs, and i still think his prediction is off. does that make my overly optimistic? there's a few on the boards who feel that unless someone feels the bills are completely terrible, they're drinking the "kool aid". don't be that guy. IMO, 5-11 is the same as 8-8, you suck either way... 8-8 is actually worse, you don't make the playoff's AND your draft pick sucks. Edited August 10, 2017 by T-Bomb
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