Horrible fan's worst case scenarios

[GunnerBill]

 

See, I don't think these predictions are unfair or bad - you did one, the OP did one, I thought both were well thought-out and plausible but who knows? But there should be nothing wrong with posting these types of predictions.

 

Anyhow it's interesting that you seem to have us losing some games in the secondary, which seems highly plausible to me. I do think that you might be underrating our special teams, which I think win us 2-3 games this year (although you do have Hauschka winning one or two fur us).

 

Thanks. I don't post them intending to stir controversy.... I enjoy it, today is a quiet day at work and generally I try and be realistic. The Bills normally win one most pundits expect them to lose (I correctly called them to beat the Colts week 1 in 2015 and the Cardinals week 3 2016) and lose one that most expect them to win.... Saints at home might be in that category this year for some. There are only a couple of games on the schedule I think we have no realistic shot at winning but the chances are we will not go 14-2. I don't know why people take such umbrage to these things.

 

EDIT: And just to say again I called 12/16 last year correctly.... so maybe I know a little more than some of the critics want to accept?

Edited August 9, 2017 by GunnerBill

[Hapless Bills Fan]

 

Week 1 vs NYJ: bad vs worse. Tyrod throws for 225, runs for 100. Shady breaks off a couple long ones. The Jests turn it over 5x. Expectations in western NY immediately get way out of hand. W 33-9

Week 2 @ Carolina: McDermott returns home, and gets drubbed. LB corps immediately exposed as Cam spreads the field and runs for 90 yds. The Panthers go nuts with screen passes, converting several 3rd and longs. Big day for Carolina TEs -- which will become a theme for the season. L 31-13

Week 3 vs Denver: a grinder of a game. Denver D is stingy against the run-heavy Bills, but the Denver O is inept against a sad Bills defensive unit. Field goals rule the day. Expectations again soar for no good reason. Upset W 15-12 in OT.

Week 4 @ Atlanta: A beatdown, in every facet of the game. L 44-10

Week 5 @ Cincy: it's the game they can never win. Gutsy effort from Shady, but Tyrod limps off in the 3rd quarter, and things unravel quickly as TJ Yates reminds the world why he's not starting. L 24-20

Week 6 BYE

Week 7 vs Tampa, aka the new hotness in the NFL. Winston has people on the Florida gulf coast talking playoffs. Wheels begin to wobble in earnest in WNY. Tyrod is back under center, throwing less and less accurately with each passing Sunday, due in part to a lack of competent receivers. L 33-17

Week 8 vs Oak-Vegas: Tears continue to be shed because the Bills braintrust passed over Khalil Mack, a guy in their backyard from UB, who supplants Von Miller as the most productive LB in football. Another thumping. Tyrod gets injured trying to do too much running, b/c his receivers can't get open. Sal Maiorana gets even more whiny. L 34-9

Week 9 at NYJ: TJ Yates creates QB controversy by playing well against a very bad team. Season sweep of the Jets costs the Bills the #1 pick in the draft, because they can't even be bad effectively. W 24-17

Week 10 vs New Orleans: back and forth affair with Tyrod back in action. Neither defense can stop the other: Saints in the air, Bills on the ground. Last team with the ball wins. Surprise W 34-31

Week 11 @ San Diego: The Chargers can still throw the ball. Screens and tight ends kill the weak middle of the Bills D. Shady is still beautiful to watch though. L 27-20

Week 12 @ Kansas City: once again, the Bills just can't beat these guys. Ugly game. L 19-17

Week 13 vs New England: the Bills play an inspired first quarter, jumping out to a 17-0 lead. CBS sends its #1 team to broadcast the game because Tom Brady! Jim Nantz and Phil Simms openly root for the Pats, exchanging warm hugs as Belichick makes a few simple adjustments that totally confound the Bills' coaching staff. Pats tight ends top 150 receiving yards. Gillislee runs for 180. Tyrod leaves in the 2nd quarter with another knee injury. Jimmy Garoppolo plays the 4th quarter because the Pats have already clinched home field throughout the playoffs, and CBS needs Tom Brady to hold still a while so they can worship him, zooming in on his chin dimple just so. L 44-17

Week 14 vs Indy: Why not try Peterman at QB? Here's why: L 33-10

Week 15 vs Miami: Who made this crazy schedule? Miami in weeks 15 and 17? NE in weeks 13 and 16? This just in: Jay Cutler actually isn't the worst QB in the league. Their D isn't bad, there are some WR weapons on this team, and Jayiii Ajayiiii is very good when healthy. But on this day, everything goes right. Tyrod looks really good, Shady goes off. W 34-13

Week 16 @ New England: Garoppolo, no Brady. Doesn't matter. CBS does live look-ins on this game, just to show Tom Brady wearing a knit cap and cheering for lil Jimmy. L 24-16

Week 17 @ Miami: If no one shows up to watch a football game, does it make a sound? L 31-21

So that's... 5-11.

 

 

Please change your title....and please look up the meaning of "true". I do not think that word means what you think it means.

[VA Bills Fan]

 

Please change your title....and please look up the meaning of "true". I do not think that word means what you think it means.

There you go boss!

 

See Grice's classic paper "Logic and Conversation" for the general framework employed by my use of the word "true."

 

When you speak with a sarcastic voice you are flouting the maxim of manner ("avoid obscurity of expression"). When you flout a conversational maxim, and you are assumed to be a cooperative conversation partner, it is assumed that you are trying to communicate something other than the literal meaning of your words in an indirect way.

 

Of course, this is the wrong inference, but unless people knew this habit of yours they couldn't help but making it.

In such a case you are taking advantage of the fact that the meaning that you cause people to falsely believe is deniable, so you are being deceptive. If on the other hand you are with your friends who know this habit of yours, and they are not deceived, then it is just that your circle has a rather ornate and perhaps exclusive way of calculating conversational implicatures.

[eball]

There you go boss!

 

See Grice's classic paper "Logic and Conversation" for the general framework employed by my use of the word "true."

 

When you speak with a sarcastic voice you are flouting the maxim of manner ("avoid obscurity of expression"). When you flout a conversational maxim, and you are assumed to be a cooperative conversation partner, it is assumed that you are trying to communicate something other than the literal meaning of your words in an indirect way.

 

Of course, this is the wrong inference, but unless people knew this habit of yours they couldn't help but making it.

In such a case you are taking advantage of the fact that the meaning that you cause people to falsely believe is deniable, so you are being deceptive. If on the other hand you are with your friends who know this habit of yours, and they are not deceived, then it is just that your circle has a rather ornate and perhaps exclusive way of calculating conversational implicatures.

 

Or, it's just a dumb, sad sack post no one really wanted or needed to see.

[DirtDart]

I love the giddy glass half full optimism from the board early in the pre-season. Makes it more fun to read the board when it all comes crashing down.

 

Or, it's just a dumb, sad sack post no one really wanted or needed to see.

I found it quite entertaining.

[DaBillsFanSince1973]

title change now seems appropriate yet there are those who may feel offended as they may not be horrible, but they too seem to only see 4-5 wins.

 

 

 

 

 

I love the giddy glass half full optimism from the board early in the pre-season. Makes it more fun to read the board when it all comes crashing down.

 

 

so that's fun to you? pathetic take, really pathetic...

[r00tabaga]

Silly.

[Maury Ballstein]

Some of you that claim to be "Bills Fans" need to go. Straight negative all year around. This team has the talent and it appears we have the FO now based off player feedback. We're gonna be competitive for a playoff spot this year.

 

[Gunsgoodtime]

And says he's a "fan"

 

The Saints, Chargers, Chiefs and Bengals games are more winnable than you give credit for. The Dolphins are just a notch above the Jets too. Did you actually see the Saints and Chargers play last year? What exactly are you worried about with them?

If you want to go back to last year we got sweeped by the Dolphins and Jets, what's thar say about the Bills?

[Hapless Bills Fan]

Now THAT'S a title change!

[Augie]

If you want to go back to last year we got sweeped by the Dolphins and Jets, what's thar say about the Bills?

They were coached by Rex and Rob, who were poor in the advanced mathematical field of "counting".

 

Now THAT'S a title change!

I'll give him props for that! Edited August 9, 2017 by Augie

[Hapless Bills Fan]

There you go boss!

 

See Grice's classic paper "Logic and Conversation" for the general framework employed by my use of the word "true."

 

When you speak with a sarcastic voice you are flouting the maxim of manner ("avoid obscurity of expression"). When you flout a conversational maxim, and you are assumed to be a cooperative conversation partner, it is assumed that you are trying to communicate something other than the literal meaning of your words in an indirect way.

 

Of course, this is the wrong inference, but unless people knew this habit of yours they couldn't help but making it.

In such a case you are taking advantage of the fact that the meaning that you cause people to falsely believe is deniable, so you are being deceptive. If on the other hand you are with your friends who know this habit of yours, and they are not deceived, then it is just that your circle has a rather ornate and perhaps exclusive way of calculating conversational implicatures.

 

I don't mind prediction threads, and I don't mind academic discussion, but I do mind inaccurate titling backed by rationalization.

[teef]

 

You're right, good call -- I'll be coming home for Bucs and Pats so hopefully my doom and gloom will be proven wrong.

good work. those are two tough games to come home for, but fans tend to be pretty pumped up for the pats...at least for the first half.

[flopagamo]

This has been some thread. Funny part: *I* am the original author of the OP's predictions.

 

At the outset of each season, my brother and I exchange predictions (with oddly specific details thrown in here and there), game by game. Each year, his predictions are wildly optimistic. ("10-and-6! Playoffs baby! This is the year!")... and each year, I refute his wild optimism with a harsh dose of bitter cynicism.

 

This year, I decided on a preemptive strike, hitting him with my grumpy take before he got his out. My knucklehead brother -- the OP -- was so entertained that he decided to share my outlook on four decades of Bills fandom with this community as if the predictions were his own... going so far as to defend its contents against the many slings and arrows... which is funny because he's actually the one of us who suffers from AEO - Annual Excessive Optimism.

 

BTW, apologies for forgetting the Chargers' move to LA. I *don't* apologize for making fun of Jim Nantz and Phil Simms though.

 

Like many in this forum, I've been a Bills fan for as long as I can remember. 70's Dolphin hate... We're talkin proud, Ground Chuck, Joe Cribbs... through the darkest of Dark Ages, aka the Kay Stephenson and Hank Bullough years... the glory years of Bruuuuce/Kelly/Thurman/Reed/Tasker/Levy/Bennett/Talley/Lofton, all those unheralded studs like Phil Hansen, and the best GM in the business, Bill Polian... and of course, the last two decades of mediocrity, peppered with glimmers of hope from guys like Doug Flutie, Eric Moulds, and Drew Bledsoe.

 

I have college age kids who were not alive for the last Bills playoff win. My youngest son is asking if he can root for another team (answer: no! But I love that he asks for permission). I've gotten to the point where emotional investment is getting more challenging with each passing year. I've contemplated writing to the FO to say "I'm sick of this crap. I'm done. Call me when you're good again" but I stop short of that because (a) that would certify me as an old crank and (b) I don't buy stamps anymore.

 

I'll keep pulling for the Bills. And I'll hang onto my cynicism until the boys on the field and in the front office convince me otherwise. Maybe this is the year!

[VA Bills Fan]

This has been some thread. Funny part: *I* am the original author of the OP's predictions.

 

At the outset of each season, my brother and I exchange predictions (with oddly specific details thrown in here and there), game by game. Each year, his predictions are wildly optimistic. ("10-and-6! Playoffs baby! This is the year!")... and each year, I refute his wild optimism with a harsh dose of bitter cynicism.

 

This year, I decided on a preemptive strike, hitting him with my grumpy take before he got his out. My knucklehead brother -- the OP -- was so entertained that he decided to share my outlook on four decades of Bills fandom with this community as if the predictions were his own... going so far as to defend its contents against the many slings and arrows... which is funny because he's actually the one of us who suffers from AEO - Annual Excessive Optimism.

 

BTW, apologies for forgetting the Chargers' move to LA. I *don't* apologize for making fun of Jim Nantz and Phil Simms though.

 

Like many in this forum, I've been a Bills fan for as long as I can remember. 70's Dolphin hate... We're talkin proud, Ground Chuck, Joe Cribbs... through the darkest of Dark Ages, aka the Kay Stephenson and Hank Bullough years... the glory years of Bruuuuce/Kelly/Thurman/Reed/Tasker/Levy/Bennett/Talley/Lofton, all those unheralded studs like Phil Hansen, and the best GM in the business, Bill Polian... and of course, the last two decades of mediocrity, peppered with glimmers of hope from guys like Doug Flutie, Eric Moulds, and Drew Bledsoe.

 

I have college age kids who were not alive for the last Bills playoff win. My youngest son is asking if he can root for another team (answer: no! But I love that he asks for permission). I've gotten to the point where emotional investment is getting more challenging with each passing year. I've contemplated writing to the FO to say "I'm sick of this crap. I'm done. Call me when you're good again" but I stop short of that because (a) that would certify me as an old crank and (b) I don't buy stamps anymore.

 

I'll keep pulling for the Bills. And I'll hang onto my cynicism until the boys on the field and in the front office convince me otherwise. Maybe this is the year!

 

SCANDAL at TBD!!!

[Coach Tuesday]

PLOT TWIST

[Andrew Son]

I've contemplated writing to the FO to say "I'm sick of this crap. I'm done.

Try starting a thread on this instead. I'm done threads usually go over well

[T-Bomb]

Wow, the overly optimistic Bills fans sure whine a lot. How can you get so damn upset over a 5-11 prediction when the past nearly two decades has been just that? I don't get it.

 

You guys get fooled season after season...

Edited August 9, 2017 by T-Bomb

[Andrew Son]

Wow, the overly optimistic Bills fans sure whine a lot. How can you get so damn upset over a 5-11 prediction when the past nearly two decades has been just that? I don't get it.

 

You guys get fooled season after season...

I think the uproar was more over the thread title, than the prediction itself

[teef]

Wow, the overly optimistic Bills fans sure whine a lot. How can you get so damn upset over a 5-11 prediction when the past nearly two decades has been just that? I don't get it.

 

You guys get fooled season after season...

when was the last time a 5-11 season actually happened, and do you think this is a 5-11 team? i'm going to guess this team is an 8-8 team, with no playoffs, and i still think his prediction is off. does that make my overly optimistic? there's a few on the boards who feel that unless someone feels the bills are completely terrible, they're drinking the "kool aid". don't be that guy.

I think the uproar was more over the thread title, than the prediction itself

of course it was.

Edited August 9, 2017 by teef