OMG...here goes....48 year old about to start dating again

[NoSaint]

No im just trying to get a little better at this.

 

No the girl is not ugly.....but I was hoping more for friendship here because she seemed really good at giving me insight into female species and I dont have anyone else to give me that.

 

Guys can talk about this stuff all day long but we are not females....

You are more clueless than we thought if you think women are giving out better advice about other women

[ExiledInIllinois]

Too funny last two posts above me.

 

LoL... The sharks are circling. Smell blood in the water.

 

The lesbian divorce rate is through the roof for a reason.

 

And I Googled it, before everybody gives me schit:

 

https://consciousgirlfriend.com/lesbians-higher-divorce-rates-everyone-else/

 

"Have you heard about these stats? Although lesbian/gay marriage and even civil unions havent been around very long, early studies suggest that lesbian couples are 50-167% more likely to divorce than heterosexual couples, and nearly twice as likely to divorce as gay men."

 

Like duh!!!!!

[boyst]

Even women don't understand other women.

beware the woman whom has no women friends.

[SlimShady'sSpaceForce]

No im just trying to get a little better at this.

 

No the girl is not ugly.....but I was hoping more for friendship here because she seemed really good at giving me insight into female species and I dont have anyone else to give me that.

 

Guys can talk about this stuff all day long but we are not females....

You couldn't have asked your daughters?

 

 

😆

[mead107]

John, you need to show us pics of each female you are thinking about. Give us the site she is on and we can get a better idea if she is good for you.

[boyst]

Learned something new tonight - scary moment

 

I have this new strategy of trying to figure out women....I pick someone out that i have no intention of doing anything with but dates a lot (who knows...it might end up in a date but not thinking about that right now)

 

and letting them talk me through the process. Some things I actually have learned that I did not know that she was kind enough to let me in on

 

- "Going out for coffee" is not actually a "date"......it is a meet and greet and lets a female decided if they actually want to go out on a date. I have been out on about 5 coffee things and I thought they were dates. Plans to do something with some and some no.

 

- While "getting to know each other" dont give out too much information.....for instance my divorce papework is filed but not completed. She told me to just tell them its finalized....and that it really isnt a woman's business but for some reason it goes into the evaluation.

 

- As permission for any body contact at least the first 2 times you meet (I of course screwed this up on my first "coffee meet and greet" and the girl never wanted to hear from me again)

 

- keep the eyes up during the "meet and greet" yes I am very bad about letting my eyes wonder especially if there are some nice assets

 

- Dont try to hard....if she offers to pay half....LET HER PAY IT. The first meet and greet I had that turned into dinner offered to actually pay for all of it. My new friend says I should have let her do it because she basically acted like a judgemental ass and I paid for the privilage of that.

 

Oh and regarding the woman over which the thread was origianally started.....my new freind says I should just not even bother calling or returning calls....she sounded like she has major issues and would just make me miserable.

1) you need new people. going for coffee is for her to decide? that is just terrible. it is for you to decide, as well. unless you got no scrot. in that case, i get it. but seriously, it is for you to decide just as much as she is; read this and research it. it is the sex ladder theory. unless you completely blow it you will have a chance with every woman you meet and have drinks with regardless if she is truly interested or not. knowing that exact opportunity and how to seize it is ideal but it is simple; keep in touch with the average how was your weekend, etc. if you want to play the game thoroughly, don't message after 6pm ever unless there is an actual stream of conversation equally shared. from friday afternoon at the latest until sunday evening around 5pm don't message her unless there was already plans. sundays offer a great, hey how was your weekend lets grab a drink before the weekend is over or lets grab a drink this week opportunity.

nonetheless, if you play the cards right she will inevitability invite you over and that's when you go no questions asked drop everything and say very little. let her initiate all contact because thats why you're there; when it comes time for contact let her set the pace you just stay right there with her - so much so that you're on her bumper keeping it going. let her decide when to stop but don't make her stop and don't let up.

 

offering a woman information about your divorce is worthless - don't bother. don't give her too much information. speak in platitudes. i've found i am best when i just don't care enough or much because i don't try too hard - having to explain something about yourself is never a good move. if there is anything to discuss flat out say it and move on. if there is ever a time where a woman asks too much or you just feel like you need to reign her in do not apologize just change the subject and she should get it - if not and she brings it up relatively quickly again just tell her that there are somethings you choose to keep private or you'd like to speak about it at another time. of course, wait until the most inopportune time - say a concert of her favorite artist, standing in line to get ice cream and ask ... "so, hey, you were asking about my addiction to meth and that i smoke it erryday..." and she won't have much of a chance.

 

 

asking for permission from a hug? *no scot?!** i have never asked for permission to hug a girl. maybe i can also read if they are willing to have a hug or not. believe it or not the average woman is thinking far more and faster than you are about the entire situation and is it a good hug or bad hug, is he noticing my fat ankles, etc etc. the less you give her to focus on you the more she focus' on herself and that is usually a good thing if you are going for action or simply a shy/insecure dude. let her doubt herself in her own little head. silcence kills women and they crave your attention loads more.

 

ok, now i'm convinced this woman is ridiculous. you're taking advice from a 40something year old woman its sounding who is only on the date because she had nothing else better to do on a tuesday. i'm not as suave as some but look wherever you want and you'd be amazed. i get girls to open embarrassingly deep. most women i talk to tell me crazy things! most will say they like to be checked out by the guy and it is those types of cues that they generally know the guy is actually interested and attracted to her.

 

if a woman offers to pay for the meal you must pay for the drinks, that is how it works. you're sitting here saying don't over think it and you're overthinking all of it!

 

and the original woman, why not answer her calls if you're free that night? that is to say, if you have nothign else going on answer the call, see what she's up to and ask if she's up to get drinks. if not, tell her you have other things to do.

[John from Riverside]

1) you need new people. going for coffee is for her to decide? that is just terrible. it is for you to decide, as well. unless you got no scrot. in that case, i get it. but seriously, it is for you to decide just as much as she is; read this and research it. it is the sex ladder theory. unless you completely blow it you will have a chance with every woman you meet and have drinks with regardless if she is truly interested or not. knowing that exact opportunity and how to seize it is ideal but it is simple; keep in touch with the average how was your weekend, etc. if you want to play the game thoroughly, don't message after 6pm ever unless there is an actual stream of conversation equally shared. from friday afternoon at the latest until sunday evening around 5pm don't message her unless there was already plans. sundays offer a great, hey how was your weekend lets grab a drink before the weekend is over or lets grab a drink this week opportunity.

nonetheless, if you play the cards right she will inevitability invite you over and that's when you go no questions asked drop everything and say very little. let her initiate all contact because thats why you're there; when it comes time for contact let her set the pace you just stay right there with her - so much so that you're on her bumper keeping it going. let her decide when to stop but don't make her stop and don't let up.

 

offering a woman information about your divorce is worthless - don't bother. don't give her too much information. speak in platitudes. i've found i am best when i just don't care enough or much because i don't try too hard - having to explain something about yourself is never a good move. if there is anything to discuss flat out say it and move on. if there is ever a time where a woman asks too much or you just feel like you need to reign her in do not apologize just change the subject and she should get it - if not and she brings it up relatively quickly again just tell her that there are somethings you choose to keep private or you'd like to speak about it at another time. of course, wait until the most inopportune time - say a concert of her favorite artist, standing in line to get ice cream and ask ... "so, hey, you were asking about my addiction to meth and that i smoke it erryday..." and she won't have much of a chance.

 

 

asking for permission from a hug? *no scot?!** i have never asked for permission to hug a girl. maybe i can also read if they are willing to have a hug or not. believe it or not the average woman is thinking far more and faster than you are about the entire situation and is it a good hug or bad hug, is he noticing my fat ankles, etc etc. the less you give her to focus on you the more she focus' on herself and that is usually a good thing if you are going for action or simply a shy/insecure dude. let her doubt herself in her own little head. silcence kills women and they crave your attention loads more.

 

ok, now i'm convinced this woman is ridiculous. you're taking advice from a 40something year old woman its sounding who is only on the date because she had nothing else better to do on a tuesday. i'm not as suave as some but look wherever you want and you'd be amazed. i get girls to open embarrassingly deep. most women i talk to tell me crazy things! most will say they like to be checked out by the guy and it is those types of cues that they generally know the guy is actually interested and attracted to her.

 

if a woman offers to pay for the meal you must pay for the drinks, that is how it works. you're sitting here saying don't over think it and you're overthinking all of it!

 

and the original woman, why not answer her calls if you're free that night? that is to say, if you have nothign else going on answer the call, see what she's up to and ask if she's up to get drinks. if not, tell her you have other things to do.

What if we are not drinking alchohol and its like a coffee that turned into a dinner

 

I dont drink or smoke.....there are reasons for that that I dont want to get into (its not me)

[The Poojer]

You just summed me up completely

 

1) you need new people. going for coffee is for her to decide? that is just terrible. it is for you to decide, as well. unless you got no scrot. in that case, i get it. but seriously, it is for you to decide just as much as she is; read this and research it. it is the sex ladder theory. unless you completely blow it you will have a chance with every woman you meet and have drinks with regardless if she is truly interested or not. knowing that exact opportunity and how to seize it is ideal but it is simple; keep in touch with the average how was your weekend, etc. if you want to play the game thoroughly, don't message after 6pm ever unless there is an actual stream of conversation equally shared. from friday afternoon at the latest until sunday evening around 5pm don't message her unless there was already plans. sundays offer a great, hey how was your weekend lets grab a drink before the weekend is over or lets grab a drink this week opportunity.

nonetheless, if you play the cards right she will inevitability invite you over and that's when you go no questions asked drop everything and say very little. let her initiate all contact because thats why you're there; when it comes time for contact let her set the pace you just stay right there with her - so much so that you're on her bumper keeping it going. let her decide when to stop but don't make her stop and don't let up.

 

offering a woman information about your divorce is worthless - don't bother. don't give her too much information. speak in platitudes. i've found i am best when i just don't care enough or much because i don't try too hard - having to explain something about yourself is never a good move. if there is anything to discuss flat out say it and move on. if there is ever a time where a woman asks too much or you just feel like you need to reign her in do not apologize just change the subject and she should get it - if not and she brings it up relatively quickly again just tell her that there are somethings you choose to keep private or you'd like to speak about it at another time. of course, wait until the most inopportune time - say a concert of her favorite artist, standing in line to get ice cream and ask ... "so, hey, you were asking about my addiction to meth and that i smoke it erryday..." and she won't have much of a chance.

 

 

asking for permission from a hug? *no scot?!** i have never asked for permission to hug a girl. maybe i can also read if they are willing to have a hug or not. believe it or not the average woman is thinking far more and faster than you are about the entire situation and is it a good hug or bad hug, is he noticing my fat ankles, etc etc. the less you give her to focus on you the more she focus' on herself and that is usually a good thing if you are going for action or simply a shy/insecure dude. let her doubt herself in her own little head. silcence kills women and they crave your attention loads more.

 

ok, now i'm convinced this woman is ridiculous. you're taking advice from a 40something year old woman its sounding who is only on the date because she had nothing else better to do on a tuesday. i'm not as suave as some but look wherever you want and you'd be amazed. i get girls to open embarrassingly deep. most women i talk to tell me crazy things! most will say they like to be checked out by the guy and it is those types of cues that they generally know the guy is actually interested and attracted to her.

 

if a woman offers to pay for the meal you must pay for the drinks, that is how it works. you're sitting here saying don't over think it and you're overthinking all of it!

 

and the original woman, why not answer her calls if you're free that night? that is to say, if you have nothign else going on answer the call, see what she's up to and ask if she's up to get drinks. if not, tell her you have other things to do.

[4merper4mer]

What if we are not drinking alchohol and its like a coffee that turned into a dinner

 

I dont drink or smoke.....there are reasons for that that I dont want to get into (its not me)

 

 

If the coffee had cream and sugar then you are paying. Just sugar or just cream it would be considered part of dinner. If it was black she wanted to skip dinner but you should have paid for the motel.

[LeviF]

Even women don't understand other women.

 

This. I've met exactly one woman who had the self-awareness necessary to actually articulate what she (and other women) generally want from a guy. Some of the advice John got from her was good...most of it was awful.

[NoSaint]

 

This. I've met exactly one woman who had the self-awareness necessary to actually articulate what she (and other women) generally want from a guy. Some of the advice John got from her was good...most of it was awful.

And the important lesson is John hanging on it... which is no good. No good at all.

[The Poojer]

my rule of thumb is if i initiate the 'date/meetup', i fully expect to pay the tab, especially first date..after that it all depends on the situation.

 

 

 

 

If the coffee had cream and sugar then you are paying. Just sugar or just cream it would be considered part of dinner. If it was black she wanted to skip dinner but you should have paid for the motel.

[boyst]

 

This. I've met exactly one woman who had the self-awareness necessary to actually articulate what she (and other women) generally want from a guy. Some of the advice John got from her was good...most of it was awful.

yes. Even women shouldn't listen to other women for dating advice

[Rob's House]

 

This. I've met exactly one woman who had the self-awareness necessary to actually articulate what she (and other women) generally want from a guy. Some of the advice John got from her was good...most of it was awful.

The part about asking permission to initiate contact was particularly bad. Sounds like she was telling him how not to get laid so she can have him to herself.

[LeviF]

The part about asking permission to initiate contact was particularly bad. Sounds like she was telling him how not to get laid so she can have him to herself.

 

Yeah I cringed at that one. I don't think I've ever asked for permission for that sort of thing ever. You can tell pretty quickly if they're not into it, then you just laugh it off since it's no big deal. On to the next.

[The Poojer]

i didn't like the part where you have to force yourself to keep your eyes up....if you need to stare at the jubblies that badly you are going to be in trouble.....

[Doc]

Starting at a woman's breasts generally isn't a good idea in any case. At least, noticeably staring at them.

[boyst]

Starting at a woman's breasts generally isn't a good idea in any case. At least, noticeably staring at them.

i realized how ridiculous I am as I hit reply.

 

I have methods to do this.

 

Take a drink and watch the glass when they're across from you to get a view. That's my primary.

 

Also use the head on the shoulder trick to look down

[John from Riverside]

i didn't like the part where you have to force yourself to keep your eyes up....if you need to stare at the jubblies that badly you are going to be in trouble.....

Im working on it

[Just Jack]

Also use the head on the shoulder trick to look down

Done that. She had a bikini top and shorts on, wanted to show me something in a book so I stood behind her and looked over her shoulder