Royale with Cheese Posted July 19, 2017 Author Posted July 19, 2017 (edited) That reminds me of when I was partying with buddy in South Beach who is a big shot real estate developer. We're at his mansion on Star Island and hitting the slopes pretty hard. When I say slopes, I'm not talking about Holiday Valley or Bristol while you and your buddy give each other ZJ's on the bunny hill. I'm talking about rocketing down K2 or Everest. There is a mountain of bolivian marching powder on the table. Our faces are covered. Turns out my friend owes a bit cash to some unsavory dudes. This I find out as a bunch of men armed with automatic weapons storm the mansion. I watch my friend go down in a hail of bullets. I catch a grazing shot to the arm. I dive for cover behind his desk and take a hot slug to the leg. And that's when I get mad. I grab his fully auto M-16 with grenade launcher and yell "say hello to my midget friend!" and start firing grenades in all directions. Took out a whole Colombian hit squad and wound up boss of the Medellin cartel. But that's another story. Dude...this reminds me of my childhood. A couple of my friends heard about a boy hit by a train and his body was still by the tracks. We went on a long journey to look for him. No lie, we almost got hit by a train. I literally jumped out of the way at the last second. We thought it was a better idea to cross the tracks so we don't have to go around but we definitely were wrong. Later on we started horsing around in a swamp....I got a leach on my balls. You're reading that right...it sucked. We finally got to the area where the body supposedly was. The rumors were right...he was there. I first saw his shoes and the walked closer...I pulled back the branch and looked at the boys face. It was sad. All of a sudden the town bully shows up and wanted to claim the reward and credit. I wasn't going to let that happen. Little did he know that I was carrying a gun. I shot it in the air to get the attention of them. He tried to bluff me by saying I can't shoot them all but guess what? I didn't care about the others, I just wanted Snake (his nickname was Snake). Edited July 19, 2017 by Teeflebees
Nervous Guy Posted July 19, 2017 Posted July 19, 2017 Last time i got truly angry was when I quit smoking. Just about anything made me rage for that first week or so. Was it during football season?
SlimShady'sSpaceForce Posted July 19, 2017 Posted July 19, 2017 Do you mean other than arguing with the wife? I'd say 2012 at work when some "new" people wouldn't listen to the people with 20+ years experience and then went on to screw up on how do design properly. 5 years later they are still dealing with the ignorance of the design. Thank god all of them are gone.
Jauronimo Posted July 19, 2017 Posted July 19, 2017 Trust me...you don't want it. It's mostly commission based. My first salary with them was $32,100. I started off in a start up office in Los Angeles and I had to work a catering job on the weekends just to live. Transferred to Scottsdale after that. They paid me $10,000 more to help turn around that office. I started making commission there but it wasn't worth the time I was putting in. Reminds me of when I was working sales in the tri-state area. It was a total rat race. All commission based. My manager brings in some hot shot from corporate to rally the troops and the guy starts talking all about his new car and giant balls. The mother@#$er comes over to me and takes the coffee right out of my hands. Says coffee is for winners. I lose it. "ABC motherf@#$er!!!" Arm Bar Chump!!! Good thing my manager separated us before I broke that guys arm. Dude...this reminds me of my childhood. A couple of my friends heard about a boy hit by a train and his body was still by the tracks. We went on a long journey to look for him. No lie, we almost got hit by a train. I literally jumped out of the way at the last second. We thought it was a better idea to cross the tracks so we don't have to go around but we definitely were wrong. Later on we started horsing around in a swamp....I got a leach on my balls. You're reading that right...it sucked. We finally got to the area where the body supposedly was. The rumors were right...he was there. I first saw his shoes and the walked closer...I pulled back the branch and looked at the boys face. It was sad. All of a sudden the town bully shows up and wanted to claim the reward and credit. I wasn't going to let that happen. Little did he know that I was carrying a gun. I shot it in the air to get the attention of them. He tried to bluff me by saying I can't shoot them all but guess what? I didn't care about the others, I just wanted Snake (his nickname was Snake). How on earth does battling Colombian cartels remind you of a pointless walk down the train tracks?
Royale with Cheese Posted July 19, 2017 Author Posted July 19, 2017 Reminds me of when I was working sales in the tri-state area. It was a total rat race. All commission based. My manager brings in some hot shot from corporate to rally the troops and the guy starts talking all about his new car and giant balls. The mother@#$er comes over to me and takes the coffee right out of my hands. Says coffee is for winners. I lose it. "ABC motherf@#$er!!!" Arm Bar Chump!!! Good thing my manager separated us before I broke that guys arm. How on earth does battling Colombian cartels remind you of a pointless walk down the train tracks? Cause your story had a gun. So did mine but yours had more. Why would a guy brag about giant balls? Women care more about the bacon and not the eggs.
Johnny Hammersticks Posted July 19, 2017 Posted July 19, 2017 HA! I've been that guy......thousands of times! I was a real estate appraiser many years ago and had to take pix of comparables without getting people fired up at me. No people allowed in the photos so you wait until the walk behind a tree, or take the lawn mower into the back yard. Still, Many, MANY times people wanted to know who the creepy guy parked in front of the house is. Confronted more often than I'd like, but hey, are you going to tell I CAN'T do it? Because I can! Usually you give them a business card and they settle down, but some still say "no!" - to which I'd just chuckle. (You go into the bad neighborhoods only in the morning for real safety reasons - anything before noon and must people weren't up yet...) I don't think I would have had any issues if the guy knocked on the door and asked permission to check the place out. Hell, if he was nice I might have let him in for a tour. My real issue was the way he just split like that. Freaked me out. Were you wearing pants when you stormed out of the house? Yes, but I was also wearing my Jason Voorhees mask and carrying a machete. lol Rolling my eyes... Hopefully your car was in the "ready position" and backed in before you sped off! You did say your children were playing in the driveway. :-/ Actually, it was my wife's car. The kids were in the driveway on the side of my house. We have a little parking area in front for unloading groceries and stuff like that. It was ready to fly.
Pine Barrens Mafia Posted July 19, 2017 Posted July 19, 2017 Was it during football season? HA! I'm smarter than to have attempted that.
Seasons1992 Posted July 19, 2017 Posted July 19, 2017 You should of stopped with the Hulk story. That was pure gold. Shhhh......these are funny. Let him keep going.
Royale with Cheese Posted July 19, 2017 Author Posted July 19, 2017 I remember several years ago I was living in LA. A friend of mine called me in a panic. It was late at night, my wife was in bed and I just wanted to relax in my bathrobe and eat cereal....I didn't want to deal with his drama. I know I know...I was being a bad friend. Any way, he shows up any way! He pulls at 100 mph and knocks over my trash cans. I was LIVID. He tells me his date overdosed and wanted me to save her. What really is messed up is she was married to his boss! Not only that, she couldn't tell the difference between cocaine and heroine. We drag her lifeless body inside. I had a medical kit in a room that I've been meaning to clean and organize....hadn't yet and couldn't find the kit. Didn't help my wife was nagging me. So I give an adrenaline needle to my friend cause I ain't doing the actual procedure. He punches the needle into her heart and she wakes up immediately. I couldn't sleep that night because I was still pissed he put me through that. What was I going to do if she did die? Unfortunately I do hate that was the last time I saw my friend. He was killed by a guy nicknamed Punchy who the authorities never found.
Augie Posted July 19, 2017 Posted July 19, 2017 I remember several years ago I was living in LA. A friend of mine called me in a panic. It was late at night, my wife was in bed and I just wanted to relax in my bathrobe and eat cereal....I didn't want to deal with his drama. I know I know...I was being a bad friend. Any way, he shows up any way! He pulls at 100 mph and knocks over my trash cans. I was LIVID. He tells me his date overdosed and wanted me to save her. What really is messed up is she was married to his boss! Not only that, she couldn't tell the difference between cocaine and heroine. We drag her lifeless body inside. I had a medical kit in a room that I've been meaning to clean and organize....hadn't yet and couldn't find the kit. Didn't help my wife was nagging me. So I give an adrenaline needle to my friend cause I ain't doing the actual procedure. He punches the needle into her heart and she wakes up immediately. I couldn't sleep that night because I was still pissed he put me through that. What was I going to do if she did die? Unfortunately I do hate that was the last time I saw my friend. He was killed by a guy nicknamed Punchy who the authorities never found. I too hate it when that happens! (Did you ever think Punchy might be here on this board? I heard he's a Bills fan.)
mead107 Posted July 19, 2017 Posted July 19, 2017 (edited) Never get over the top mad. Just get even Edited July 19, 2017 by mead107
Deranged Rhino Posted July 19, 2017 Posted July 19, 2017 Yes, but I was also wearing my Jason Voorhees mask and carrying a machete. lol
Jauronimo Posted July 19, 2017 Posted July 19, 2017 I remember several years ago I was living in LA. A friend of mine called me in a panic. It was late at night, my wife was in bed and I just wanted to relax in my bathrobe and eat cereal....I didn't want to deal with his drama. I know I know...I was being a bad friend. Any way, he shows up any way! He pulls at 100 mph and knocks over my trash cans. I was LIVID. He tells me his date overdosed and wanted me to save her. What really is messed up is she was married to his boss! Not only that, she couldn't tell the difference between cocaine and heroine. We drag her lifeless body inside. I had a medical kit in a room that I've been meaning to clean and organize....hadn't yet and couldn't find the kit. Didn't help my wife was nagging me. So I give an adrenaline needle to my friend cause I ain't doing the actual procedure. He punches the needle into her heart and she wakes up immediately. I couldn't sleep that night because I was still pissed he put me through that. What was I going to do if she did die? Unfortunately I do hate that was the last time I saw my friend. He was killed by a guy nicknamed Punchy who the authorities never found. I'm calling BS on this one too. This sounds exactly like something from one of those Tarantino films. Kill Phil and the Ingenius Eightf.
Augie Posted July 19, 2017 Posted July 19, 2017 Nobody dies, or even almost dies, but a few years ago..... eh, why bother?
Royale with Cheese Posted July 19, 2017 Author Posted July 19, 2017 I'm calling BS on this one too. This sounds exactly like something from one of those Tarantino films. Kill Phil and the Ingenius Eightf. Kill Phil Dunphy or Phil Donahue?
Sweats Posted July 19, 2017 Posted July 19, 2017 I get mad at work all the time...........like, i'm talking screaming, throwing things at the wall mad. I work with a bunch of douche-nozzles. End of story.
Jauronimo Posted July 19, 2017 Posted July 19, 2017 I get mad at work all the time...........like, i'm talking screaming, throwing things at the wall mad. I work with a bunch of douche-nozzles. End of story. This also sounds made up. Sorry bro, just not buying it.
Fan in San Diego Posted July 19, 2017 Posted July 19, 2017 I remember several years ago I was living in LA. A friend of mine called me in a panic. It was late at night, my wife was in bed and I just wanted to relax in my bathrobe and eat cereal....I didn't want to deal with his drama. I know I know...I was being a bad friend. Any way, he shows up any way! He pulls at 100 mph and knocks over my trash cans. I was LIVID. He tells me his date overdosed and wanted me to save her. What really is messed up is she was married to his boss! Not only that, she couldn't tell the difference between cocaine and heroine. We drag her lifeless body inside. I had a medical kit in a room that I've been meaning to clean and organize....hadn't yet and couldn't find the kit. Didn't help my wife was nagging me. So I give an adrenaline needle to my friend cause I ain't doing the actual procedure. He punches the needle into her heart and she wakes up immediately. I couldn't sleep that night because I was still pissed he put me through that. What was I going to do if she did die? Unfortunately I do hate that was the last time I saw my friend. He was killed by a guy nicknamed Punchy who the authorities never found. Watch Pulp Fiction much?
Sweats Posted July 19, 2017 Posted July 19, 2017 This also sounds made up. Sorry bro, just not buying it. It sounds made up that i work with a bunch of douche-nozzles?...............you have no idea what i have to deal with at work every day, bro.
Royale with Cheese Posted July 19, 2017 Author Posted July 19, 2017 (edited) Watch Pulp Fiction much?What's Pulp Fiction? It sounds made up that i work with a bunch of douche-nozzles?...............you have no idea what i have to deal with at work every day, bro. I didn't know you guys were related. Edited July 19, 2017 by Teeflebees
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