Do you agree with Frank Martin's quote?

[Johnny Hammersticks]

Jeebus! Some of you sound like you even enjoy smacking your kids around...lol. My son is almost 8 and he got one spanking when he was about 4. One smack on the butt did the trick, and I remember feeling horrible about it at the time. The thing is, he never before and never since needed to be spanked. He's a good kid. I'm a firm believer in not going to the spanking thing too often, and only under extreme circumstances. If you spank too frequently kids become accustomed to it and the consequence loses value, IMO.

 

My 4 year old daughter, on the other hand, has been on the receiving end of 5 or 6 spankings already. She's well mannered and behaves herself for the most part, but she has a little bit of an evil streak to her. She's just like my wife.

[ExiledInIllinois]

Jeebus! Some of you sound like you even enjoy smacking your kids around...lol. My son is almost 8 and he got one spanking when he was about 4. One smack on the butt did the trick, and I remember feeling horrible about it at the time. The thing is, he never before and never since needed to be spanked. He's a good kid. I'm a firm believer in not going to the spanking thing too often, and only under extreme circumstances. If you spank too frequently kids become accustomed to it and the consequence loses value, IMO.

 

My 4 year old daughter, on the other hand, has been on the receiving end of 5 or 6 spankings already. She's well mannered and behaves herself for the most part, but she has a little bit of an evil streak to her. She's just like my wife.

This.

[Gugny]

I spanked my son when he was younger. Had no problem doing it at all. He's not perfect (he's 14 now), but he is respectful to adults. Always.

 

Not lying was the other thing that was driven into him from a young age.

 

The important part of that is that he is comfortable coming to me with anything/everything. And when he screws up, he knows that life is a lot better for him if he tells me, than it is if I find out from someone else. So he - as I call it - "takes his lumps" (figurative, of course) when he errs. And when he tells me, we discuss what can be/will be learned from the experience.

 

It's all about open and honest communication and that's something we've had since he was little.

 

I've taught him to want the best for himself and to treat others well. Also - represent yourself well. Don't be the person people can hear above others; don't be the person everyone else is looking at. Get attention by doing good things, not stupid things.

 

But most of all ... talk about everything with two-way communication.

[Johnny Hammersticks]

I spanked my son when he was younger. Had no problem doing it at all. He's not perfect (he's 14 now), but he is respectful to adults. Always.

 

Not lying was the other thing that was driven into him from a young age.

 

The important part of that is that he is comfortable coming to me with anything/everything. And when he screws up, he knows that life is a lot better for him if he tells me, than it is if I find out from someone else. So he - as I call it - "takes his lumps" (figurative, of course) when he errs. And when he tells me, we discuss what can be/will be learned from the experience.

 

It's all about open and honest communication and that's something we've had since he was little.

 

I've taught him to want the best for himself and to treat others well. Also - represent yourself well. Don't be the person people can hear above others; don't be the person everyone else is looking at. Get attention by doing good things, not stupid things.

 

But most of all ... talk about everything with two-way communication.

Yes. A lot of good stuff here. I like the part about being honest and "you tell me before I hear from someone else." I think I might use that one.

[Jauronimo]

 

it's less about a de facto spanking than it is about the mentality of punitive action with kids IMO.

 

Yes, I've spanked my kids. 99% of the time, I've felt absolutely fine about it, but there was one time where I accidentally swatted one of them a bit harder on his bottom than I meant to--certainly not hard enough to leave a bruise or anything, but it probably stung him a bit (whereas my normal swat is of the "get your attention" nature).

 

But spanking isn't the focus, consequence is the focus. It's to teach my kids (4 year old twins) that actions have consequences, and that every person is a slave to consequence 100% of the time.

 

Where parents get it wrong, IMO, is when they act selfishly with regard to the children. "In spite of my child's unacceptable table decorum, we can't get up and leave the restaurant right now because I really want to eat here" or "I was so looking forward to seeing little Jimmy have fun at the playground today; I'm wiling to overlook his terrible attitude and allow him to go anyway". Parents think that they're doing it for the sake of the child, but the truth is that they're not. The child's youth isn't going to be made or broken based on one activity or incident, so really it's the parent that is satisfying their own desire at that point.

 

I know this because I've caught myself doing it plenty of times already, and each time I have to remind myself that it's not about me. Parenting, IMO, is about raising an upstanding, respectful child that will contribute positively to the world.

 

Just my 1 cent.

Just don't take a picture of the damage and text it to yo baby mama.

[Just Jack]

She's well mannered and behaves herself for the most part, but she has a little bit of an evil streak to her.

Has she asked you to go skydiving yet?

[RaoulDuke79]

Everyone born after generation X is as !@#$.