Royale with Cheese Posted July 6, 2017 Author Posted July 6, 2017 Yard work puts you in the mood, eh? Geezus. Well I was trimming bushes and put a diamond shape in one of my shrubs....
SlimShady'sSpaceForce Posted July 6, 2017 Posted July 6, 2017 Asking a co-worker when she was due...... She wasn't pregnant
TheElectricCompany Posted July 6, 2017 Posted July 6, 2017 Working catering in college, had a Freudian slip. I had set up an ice cream bar in the gym, and this hottie I had seen in a few classes came up and asked if she could go ahead and serve herself. My response? "Yes, go ahead and touch yourself".
Johnny Hammersticks Posted July 6, 2017 Posted July 6, 2017 When I was in my early 20's a few of us were drinking really hard at a graduation party. We were pretty smashed up and probably should have called it a night, but we decided to walk over to a restaurant where another friend was tending bar. There happened to be a large wedding reception going on in one of the banquet rooms. Our bartender friend poured us all these giant shots of Jager in rocks glasses. Like triple shots and it was room temperature. Immediately after I gulped down the shot I felt the need to vomit. I ran out the back and out the door just in time to barf all over the place right in front of the wedding party which was making their way from the limo into the reception. There was puke everywhere, and some even splattered on the shoes of groom and bride who were in front. I ran away and passed out at a school playground that was a few blocks down the street. Thankfully no one who witnessed the incident knew who I was. Absolutely mortifying, and I'm probably very lucky I didn't get my $&@ kicked.
RaoulDuke79 Posted July 6, 2017 Posted July 6, 2017 Reminds me of Seinfeld....My mother caught me. You know... I was alone...and I went inside for a few minutes.. Nobody was there - they're supposed to be working. My mother had a Glamour magazine, I started leafing through it...
KermitMcDermott Posted July 6, 2017 Posted July 6, 2017 Asking a co-worker when she was due...... She wasn't pregnant Bahahaha, totally did this before.
4merper4mer Posted July 6, 2017 Posted July 6, 2017 I thought of this thread because of what happened to me this weekend. It's the most embarrassing, although funny, moment in my life. I was outside doing yard work and had the radio streaming through my Bose. This thing can get pretty loud on max volume which I had it on. My wife and son are at the park so I had the house to myself. I finish the yard work and go inside to relax a little bit. I felt the urge and since I don't get a lot of time to myself now...I took advantage of it. I get my cell, start watching some adult entertainment. For some reason, I'm not getting volume. So I mess with it for a few minutes, still no volume so I just carried on without it. After I complete my objective, I can hear a noise coming from my front yard. I walk closer to my front door and that's when it hit me. I never disconnected the bluetooth from my cell phone. I wasn't hearing anything because the videos audio was going through the Bose and it was on full volume....for all my neighbors to hear. My neighbors across the street and to my right were outside as well doing yard work....they absolutely heard what I was watching. Son of a *****...... Well, bye. Once your wife talks to your neighbors your internet will be gone. When you get to wifey internet restriction land tell Ed and Sage we said hello.
Royale with Cheese Posted July 6, 2017 Author Posted July 6, 2017 Well, bye. Once your wife talks to your neighbors your internet will be gone. When you get to wifey internet restriction land tell Ed and Sage we said hello. I told my wife already and she laughed for 10 minutes. She doesn't care that I watch it.
KermitMcDermott Posted July 6, 2017 Posted July 6, 2017 Any wife that doesn't think their husband watches internet porn is in denial.
4merper4mer Posted July 6, 2017 Posted July 6, 2017 I told my wife already and she laughed for 10 minutes. She doesn't care that I watch it. Good for you. Glad you're still on the board. At least it was a hot stepmom and not some video of Andrew Luck.
BUFFALOKIE Posted July 7, 2017 Posted July 7, 2017 (edited) Really? Two JO confession threads? This place has gone downhill. Mods? Come on! You shut down duplicate threads all the time, but you let this ride? SMH Edited July 7, 2017 by BUFFALOKIE
Johnny Hammersticks Posted July 7, 2017 Posted July 7, 2017 Really? Two JO confession threads? This place has gone downhill. Mods? Come on! You shut down duplicate threads all the time, but you let this ride? SMH Sounds like you need to JO more frequently.
RaoulDuke79 Posted July 7, 2017 Posted July 7, 2017 (edited) I never ask anyone this. I saw this one former co-worker who was clearly 8 months pregnant, and didn't say a word. I didn't care if it seemed rude too to not acknowledge it or offer congrats. Can't risk it, unless the woman brings it up first. This is true. A friend of mine asked one of the bartenders at a place we frequent when she was due a month or so after she had the baby. It's just best not to approach the subject at all. Edited July 7, 2017 by RaoulDuke79
Royale with Cheese Posted July 7, 2017 Author Posted July 7, 2017 Really? Two JO confession threads? This place has gone downhill. Mods? Come on! You shut down duplicate threads all the time, but you let this ride? SMH That's because I'm the best.
Augie Posted July 7, 2017 Posted July 7, 2017 I never ask anyone this. I saw this one former co-worker who was clearly 8 months pregnant, and didn't say a word. I didn't care if it seemed rude too to not acknowledge it or offer congrats. Can't risk it, unless the woman brings it up first. The one exception is if you can actually see the baby's head crowning. Even then, I am all about the weather.
Royale with Cheese Posted July 7, 2017 Author Posted July 7, 2017 The one exception is if you can actually see the baby's head crowning. Even then, I am all about the weather. Hot, muggy and humid.
ExiledInIllinois Posted July 7, 2017 Posted July 7, 2017 (edited) When I was in my early 20's a few of us were drinking really hard at a graduation party. We were pretty smashed up and probably should have called it a night, but we decided to walk over to a restaurant where another friend was tending bar. There happened to be a large wedding reception going on in one of the banquet rooms. Our bartender friend poured us all these giant shots of Jager in rocks glasses. Like triple shots and it was room temperature. Immediately after I gulped down the shot I felt the need to vomit. I ran out the back and out the door just in time to barf all over the place right in front of the wedding party which was making their way from the limo into the reception. There was puke everywhere, and some even splattered on the shoes of groom and bride who were in front. I ran away and passed out at a school playground that was a few blocks down the street. Thankfully no one who witnessed the incident knew who I was. Absolutely mortifying, and I'm probably very lucky I didn't get my $&@ kicked. It happens to the best of us. Your story is a little bit of a different twist, but I can't get this damn song out of head. Hey Dude... The Greeks don't want no freaks! And if you're wondering why I said this: "...And half an hour later you were barfin' all over your girlfriend's shoes..." Edited July 7, 2017 by ExiledInIllinois
BringBackFergy Posted July 7, 2017 Posted July 7, 2017 Was working at my first job in downtown Buffalo. Wore a suit every day, tried to look all professional etc. Had a busy day and walked from my office to the Main Place Mall this one time in the summer but suddenly had the urge to take a dump. Went up to the food court and located the head and took precaution by spreading toilet paper on the seat (I don't use little pieces either...I take 3 or 4 feet and wrap it around the seat in perfect layering technique like a sweet roll). Anyway, I finish my business and go to the pizza line...order my two slices to go and get the box. I walk through the food court during lunch hour, down the stairs and toward the exit of the mall. In the old Main Place there was a portion of the first level that had mirrors along the wall. I wanted to check how "cool" I looked in the mirror as I was about to walk outside and saw something that caught my eye....there I was, a 6ft dark haired guy, in a ironed button down, pressed suit pants, sharp looking red/gold tie, and a four foot piece of toilet paper hanging out the back of my pants dragging on the ground.
boyst Posted July 7, 2017 Posted July 7, 2017 i've forgot the names of girls i was going to meet for a date a bunch of times and had no way to know. a few times forgot entire bits of information about them because i couldn't remember it or call them the wrong name
ExiledInIllinois Posted July 7, 2017 Posted July 7, 2017 I can just hear my parents: What the hell is wrong w/you people? Raised in a barn? No standards? Attention to detail? Oh, and for the one's actually raised in a barn, like Boyst, this doesn't apply to you, carry on & turn that schit down... You'll go blind & end up in jail with no soap on a rope. If that doesn't scare you to change your ways, nothing will! :-) :-P
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