Anxiety/Depression

[Bill from NYC]

I've been in a tailspin since I lost my wife three years ago. I've pushed everyone away because it's easier being alone. Though I hate being alone. I'm no doctor but I think I might be suffering from PTSD from watching my wife slip away from me slowly. I can't seem to handle stress anymore. All the things I used to care about before my wife got sick doesn't mean anything to me anymore. I'm just a shell of the man I used to be. I'm not looking for sympathy. I just felt like telling someone.

I strongly urge you to get involved in your church or synagogue. If you want to, start small. My church feeds hungry people. Just bringing food to the food bank will make you feel good.

 

I went back to church a few years ago after having not gone for decades. I made sure to sit on the aisle because I didn't want to talk to anyone on the way out. Not good. Now, I have met and am friendly with a group of nice people.

 

If you think it might help, don't be shy.

[boyst]

Thanks everyone. I wasn't sure by posting this what kind of response I'd get. But it's one of love and acceptance

the world of pain that would lay down upon someone who did not support this thread would have been hellish

[2020 Our Year For Sure]

1 on 1 therapy and medication just made me feel worse. I started meditating early last summer and I'm now healing and growing quite rapidly. When I'd hear people say 'you have to love yourself' it used to make me laugh. It sounded absurd that I could ever stop hating, let alone love myself. But it really is possible!

 

The things that happened in the past are not your fault. You did the best you could with the wisdom and understanding you had at the time. I'm learning to treat myself with the same kindness that I treat others- you deserve satisfaction in your life just as much as any other person alive. We are very often our own worst enemy.

 

One thing about meditation is it requires a certain energy...a certain fire...a certain chutzpah, if you will. People who feel like they're doing okay tend to have trouble breaking through in the beginning stages (the hardest part). People who feel like they simply cannot go on the way things are, have a unique opportunity, because that feeling of futility, that craving for the light, for something different, gives us the energy needed to break through. Use it! I forget who said this but 'a man's strengths and weaknesses are drawn from the same well.' Whether you meditate or not...your experience with depression is an essential part of the beautiful being that you are. It tends to make us kinder, more sensitive, more empathic.

 

American consumerist society doesn't always teach us to value those qualities, so we tend to feel bad about it. But they are quite beautiful if you think about it, no?

 

Boyster is so right. Love is the truth. Love is the way to conquer the hate inside ourselves as well as the hate that others send us. When we meditate, we learn to develop the latent love that's already inside us.

 

Feel free to drop me a PM any time at all, about anytging, my friend.

 

 

Edit: one more thing. People CAN change. Don't you buy into it for one second that "a tiger can't change his stripes." Its possible, though nobody said its going to be easy. In my experience the more worth it the change is, the more difficult. Learning to take joy in the process itself can be heartening.

Edited March 15, 2017 by 2018 Our Year For Sure

[stevestojan]

I would have NEVER tried meditation before a friend recommended 10% Happier by Dan Harris. I can't recommend it enough. Read it, then find a meditation app (Headspace is a great one). You have nothing to lose but a few hours if you somehow hate the book. The book focuses on meditation for anxiety but it absolutely helps for depression too. I understand meditation has a strange reputation and that's why Dan's book is so good - he addresses that head on.

 

Combined with medication, meditation can really help.