CommonCents Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 Simple!!! When she drives the speed limiting because we are heading to a place I want to go!!! Every time we head to my brothers for the game it always gets pushed closed to kick off!!!! The only reason your driving is because I'm about to get drunk!!! Now step on it!!!!
KD in CA Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 No matter how late we are running out the door to get somewhere, she always lags behind to make sure everything is neat and tidy; literally fluffing sofa cushions while I'm waiting in the running car.
Corp000085 Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 No matter how late we are running out the door to get somewhere, she always lags behind to make sure everything is neat and tidy; literally fluffing sofa cushions while I'm waiting in the running car. Similar situation... My wife's MO is to say "we're ready to go" and then I'll run in, put my shoes and coat on, and open the garage door to get to the car. 5 minutes later, she arrives and complains that I left the house too early... Um, you said you were ready. When you're ready, you're ready to leave NOW, not putz around for 5 minutes doing God knows what.
Buffalo Barbarian Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 Similar situation... My wife's MO is to say "we're ready to go" and then I'll run in, put my shoes and coat on, and open the garage door to get to the car. 5 minutes later, she arrives and complains that I left the house too early... Um, you said you were ready. When you're ready, you're ready to leave NOW, not putz around for 5 minutes doing God knows what. I just till she walks out the door then I get up and put my shoes on. She used to nag me the whole time about getting ready and I would say all I have to do is put my shoes on and she would grumble back to the bathroom putting make up and now I have her totally trained . I even have gotten her to listen to SOAD, Slipknot, Godsmack and the like but she just cant get into the heavy stuff but those are good enough, now about that football ...
Just Jack Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 I just till she walks out the door then I get up and put my shoes on. She used to nag me the whole time about getting ready and I would say all I have to do is put my shoes on and she would grumble back to the bathroom putting make up and now I have her totally trained .
Captain Caveman Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 I'm just relieved to see this isn't a sex thread.
Augie Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 My wife is amazing and a very high achiever in all regards. That's great, unless I'm with her. If we head out with 2 things on our to do list, she adds a dozen because "the dry cleaners is right up the road", "well, we need paper towels and Costco is right next to where we're going" and "I just need to pick up some files from the office". The unlisted agenda is always far bigger than what we set out to do. I guess that's how she's so good, and I'm me. You'd think I'd learn.
Gugny Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 I'm just relieved to see this isn't a sex thread. We're only on Page 2 ....
Johnny Hammersticks Posted December 12, 2016 Author Posted December 12, 2016 Breathe? We're not talking about things that make a man want to punt kittens or demand a divorce; like when your wife burns your bagel. We're talking about petty annoyances. Like a pet peeves thread for our women.
OGTEleven Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 My wife is amazing and a very high achiever in all regards. That's great, unless I'm with her. If we head out with 2 things on our to do list, she adds a dozen because "the dry cleaners is right up the road", "well, we need paper towels and Costco is right next to where we're going" and "I just need to pick up some files from the office". The unlisted agenda is always far bigger than what we set out to do. I guess that's how she's so good, and I'm me. You'd think I'd learn. Oh my God. My wife (about whom I have no right to complain) also does this exact trick. She also adds an intra-store mode to the mix. We can be done grocery shopping and headed toward the checkout pushing a cart overflowing with groceries. After getting 65 things from our original list of 20, she'll stop and say we forgot toothpaste (or something else). I say ok and get in line with three people in front of me while she goes for the toothpaste. The next thing I know I am almost done checking out the full cart and she is still nowhere in sight. Sometimes she'll even get there at the absolute last second (I don't know how she does that) but with two tubes, wanting me to make the decision. Whichever one I pick (completely at random because I cannot even care if I try), she extols the virtues of the other one (but that is really a separate story which deserves it's own post).
Steve O Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 I'm just relieved to see this isn't a sex thread. I fully expected it to be, and am disappointed it isn't.
plenzmd1 Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 No matter how late we are running out the door to get somewhere, she always lags behind to make sure everything is neat and tidy; literally fluffing sofa cushions while I'm waiting in the running car. Ha...kids and i call what my wife does "the walk" ...no matter where we are or where we are leaving, she has to walk the area and search for forgotten things etc! Also, my wife is very courteous, and will never take the last piece of pizza, the last wing, the last beer etc. All fine and good,except when it come to things like cereal, grapes, cookies..etc. I used to look in the pantry, see a big box of Honey Nut cheerios, think all set!. Till the next morning you go to pour a bowl , and you get like 12 cheerios from the bottom of the bag. Learned my lesson after about 10 years of that, and now do a weekly cleanup of fridge and pantry of all the stuff that has about a 1/2 serving left!
Johnny Hammersticks Posted December 12, 2016 Author Posted December 12, 2016 My wife keeps buying all that MacKenzie-Childs stuff. The checkered pattern. We have a chair that no one sits on, all the platters and serving bowls, picture frames, a wall clock, a coffee canister, a dog water/food bowl and a mat to go underneath. I'm only naming half the s$$t. I don't care about the money, and I couldn't care less about the way my house is decorated. I just think it's getting to be a bit much. The checkers are everywhere.
GOBILLS78 Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 She's always begging me to send her nudes.
thebandit27 Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 (edited) Mrs. Bandit has one speed when it comes to getting ready to go anywhere--and that speed is sssssssssllllllllllllllllooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. It doesn't matter (a) where we're going, (b) when we're leaving, or © how long she's known about the event in question, she simply has no sense of when to start getting ready, how long it will take her, what she wants to wear, what she wants to bring, etc. It's painful at times. Edited December 12, 2016 by thebandit27
USMCBillsFan Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 I'm not married anymore but have been with my gf for over 3 years and living together for almost 3. She will be late for her own funeral. No matter what happens she's always late. I'll be sitting there telling her we need to leave in an hour. She'll wait until 5 minutes before we have to leave to start getting around. After 25 years of structure in the Marines it drives me batsh*t crazy! She's never been on time for anything, no matter how important. Mrs. Bandit has one speed when it comes to getting ready to go anywhere--and that speed is sssssssssllllllllllllllllooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. It doesn't matter (a) where we're going, (b) when we're leaving, or © how long she's known about the event in question, she simply has no sense of when to start getting ready, how long it will take her, what she wants to wear, what she wants to bring, etc. It's painful at times. Haha! Amen! We have the exact same problem!
thebandit27 Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 I'm not married anymore but have been with my gf for over 3 years and living together for almost 3. She will be late for her own funeral. No matter what happens she's always late. I'll be sitting there telling her we need to leave in an hour. She'll wait until 5 minutes before we have to leave to start getting around. After 25 years of structure in the Marines it drives me batsh*t crazy! She's never been on time for anything, no matter how important. Haha! Amen! We have the exact same problem! If that's the worst thing you can say about a lady, then she's a keeper!
DDD Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 This thread is not about bashing women. We all (well I'm assuming most of us) love our wives dearly, and appreciate them very much. My wife is absolutely amazing. Loves me still despite me being an immature 17 year old trapped in a 38 year old's body. She is also the best Mother I could ever ask for to my 2 beautiful children. I am very happy and a lucky man. That said, my wife has certain "quirks" that drive me absolutely bonkers. Here's an example... Today we were all playing games in the play room. My daughter was playing with her dolls, giving them a spa treatment, and my son and I were playing Jenga. One of the "logs" from the Jenga game was missing, but it didn't affect the game. We were just fine. My wife's brain malfunctions when she learns about missing game pieces. I could see her eye twitch. It happens. When you have a 7 year old and a 3 year old...inevitable game pieces go missing. My wife couldn't handle it. She was so irritated about the missing Jenga piece that she spent 2 hours tearing apart the house looking for it. She then stormed up to the play room, having not found the piece, and scolded all of us for not being more careful with our belongings. We all just looked at each other, pretended to be sorry, and went back to playing. My wife stomps down the stairs, puts on her shoes and coat, and walks out the door. I hear her car backing out of the driveway. She comes back 20 minutes later with a new Jenga game. She just could not go on about her day knowing that there was an incomplete Jenga game in our home. That's just one example. I have plenty more. This is the place to share/vent about these things. I suppose girlfriend/fiancé stories belong here as well. Let's hear those stories.... Um, that's what I do when I find a piece of a game is missing.
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