4merper4mer Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 (edited) I am loathe to ask questions on here because I know people will poke fun. Heck, I've done it with others myself. But I do know some good can come from these threads, like the time I saved Joe from getting chopped to bits by that redhead and her brother/boyfriend from San Diego. My life is not in danger here as near as I can tell and there is nary a redhead involved but I definitely have an unusual problem and it is nothing like anything I have seen before. I'm hoping some one can help. My house has a lot of rooms and at sometimes a long gap can go by where I don't even go into one. Anyway, one of these remote areas of the property is quite nice and really meant for infrequent events and sometimes just some deep thought when I need to find my way. That's another story. It has recently come to my attention that Sammy, although he hasn't found the specific area, has found the hallway that leads to it. He is such a douche and has the whole thing messed up. It's like he made it his own little hamster man cave. The hallway has heated floors and a carpet that is so nice I can't even think about what I spent on it without getting angry for what he has done. When you walk on it, it is just so soft. It doesn't even feel like carpet. It is more like the comfiest garment imaginable. Anyway, I can't get into everything the stupid hamster has done, but suffice it to say he has a corner set up where he has barbecues in there. That is how I discovered the whole thing. I was nearby and got a heat alert so I decided to check it out myself. I went in quietly and saw Sammy had started a tiny fire in a makeshift pit. He was acting all creepy and talking but I couldn't see who he was with. I didn't want to startle him and never find out what was going on so I stayed at the opposite end of the hall and activated the camera right above Sammy. He was talking to a salamander. He somehow convinced it to walk right into the flame and then he jabbed it with a stick and cooked it like a marshmallow. Then he ate it. It was scary and gross at the same time. I was so mad that I decided to confront him but when I took my first step something happened which is the basic reason for this post. There is a lot of detail but from a high level let's just say that Sammy's time up there has led to an infestation of that expensive and wonderful carpet. I can provide more info if necessary because it seared its way into my brain like a movie on a film. Has anyone ever dealt with a similar situation? How did you fix it? I'm asking about the floor covering fix, not the Sammy fix. That's a whole other story. Edited November 22, 2016 by 4merper4mer
billsfanmiami(oh) Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 Where can I get whatever you're on?
Johnny Hammersticks Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 If I had a nickle for every time this happened to me...
Augie Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 I was on my elevator with two other people when some wasps got in. They were buzzing around so fast I couldn't swat them with a tennis racquet. This seemed to make them mad and soon they were about a foot long! I decided I wanted out, so I woke up.
4merper4mer Posted November 22, 2016 Author Posted November 22, 2016 If I had a nickle for every time this happened to me... Have you solved it? Because although I admit that I could just rip out and replace the carpet, I really want to avoid it. Yes,part of that is because I am cheap, but also it goes back to the client that ended up redecorating that hallway. She was a little wacky but a genius. The carpet is sublime and the walls are this beautiful red color which I think she called "ogre" She couldn't pay me so she designed this hallway instead. I want to keep it. Anyway when I saw what Sammy did to that poor salamander I wanted to go yell at him. I was going to sneak up on him and catch him in the act. I took my shoes and socks off to be quiet and when I took my first step, . The whole thing was infested. It burned into my memory. Memories aren't perfect so I'm sure I have imagined it worse than it is, but it is bad. Really bad. The weird part is that I use the chamber that I access from the end of this very corridor to help me contemplate things and if I could get there I might be able to figure all of this out. But down here, it is just me and my fear and I can't think rationally. Any ideas?
Pine Barrens Mafia Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 Well, I'm sure you could always make someone's head roll down the stairs...
thebug Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 I am loathe to ask questions on here because I know people will poke fun. Heck, I've done it with others myself. But I do know some good can come from these threads, like the time I saved Joe from getting chopped to bits by that redhead and her brother/boyfriend from San Diego. My life is not in danger here as near as I can tell and there is nary a redhead involved but I definitely have an unusual problem and it is nothing like anything I have seen before. I'm hoping some one can help. My house has a lot of rooms and at sometimes a long gap can go by where I don't even go into one. Anyway, one of these remote areas of the property is quite nice and really meant for infrequent events and sometimes just some deep thought when I need to find my way. That's another story. It has recently come to my attention that Sammy, although he hasn't found the specific area, has found the hallway that leads to it. He is such a douche and has the whole thing messed up. It's like he made it his own little hamster man cave. The hallway has heated floors and a carpet that is so nice I can't even think about what I spent on it without getting angry for what he has done. When you walk on it, it is just so soft. It doesn't even feel like carpet. It is more like the comfiest garment imaginable. Anyway, I can't get into everything the stupid hamster has done, but suffice it to say he has a corner set up where he has barbecues in there. That is how I discovered the whole thing. I was nearby and got a heat alert so I decided to check it out myself. I went in quietly and saw Sammy had started a tiny fire in a makeshift pit. He was acting all creepy and talking but I couldn't see who he was with. I didn't want to startle him and never find out what was going on so I stayed at the opposite end of the hall and activated the camera right above Sammy. He was talking to a salamander. He somehow convinced it to walk right into the flame and then he jabbed it with a stick and cooked it like a marshmallow. Then he ate it. It was scary and gross at the same time. I was so mad that I decided to confront him but when I took my first step something happened which is the basic reason for this post. There is a lot of detail but from a high level let's just say that Sammy's time up there has led to an infestation of that expensive and wonderful carpet. I can provide more info if necessary because it seared its way into my brain like a movie on a film. Has anyone ever dealt with a similar situation? How did you fix it? I'm asking about the floor covering fix, not the Sammy fix. That's a whole other story. Are you stoned? Cause you sound stoned! I hope you are not driving? I really hope you are not texting and driving, while stoned!
Chef Jim Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 There is a lot of detail but from a high level let's just say that Sammy's time up there has led to an infestation of that expensive and wonderful carpet. I can provide more info if necessary because it seared its way into my brain like a movie on a film. Has anyone ever dealt with a similar situation? How did you fix it? I'm asking about the floor covering fix, not the Sammy fix. That's a whole other story. Yes more details please. Impossible to help with the limited information you've given. And please tell me that it was the damn Geico gecko and not a salamander he skewered and ate. I'm so !@#$ing sick and tired of the green POS.
4merper4mer Posted November 22, 2016 Author Posted November 22, 2016 Yes more details please. Impossible to help with the limited information you've given. And please tell me that it was the damn Geico gecko and not a salamander he skewered and ate. I'm so !@#$ing sick and tired of the green POS. Ok well sorry to inform you that it wasn't that Geico dude but who knows, Sammy may have been practicing for some evil plan. He does crap like that and he haaaaaaaaates British accents. I don't know quite why. Anyway when I stepped onto the carpet to go get Sammy, there were crawly bugs covering about half of it. I don't really hate bugs but there were so many. It creeped be out. I went to get the Googlebot because he has a vacuum attachment but he refused....and not politely. I procrastinated for a while after that and finally worked up the guts to go back there today. Bad news: The bugs have multiplied and they are acting very strange and empowered. The first time I was there they were just regular. I did notice they saw me the first time but didn't think much of it but when they saw me again it's like they got a shot of adrenaline, or life blood. More than before for sure. I was going to leave but I wondered how much they might gain if I came back a third time. I don't want to know but will probably have to find out. Anyway I looked down the hall and the door to the upstairs chamber was open meaning Sammy probably found his way in there. he is a pain. I had to go get him out of there because it was sort of my secret plus it is a dangerous place for a hamster. I went up there after him and never found him but that is another story. I had to use my last disposable suction cup levitators and glide along the wall just to get down the hall. I have some on order but who knows when they'll come in. I thought I had about 100 left but Beerboy must have been making videos for his MeTube channel again. I left through a window and down the side of the building because I didn't want the bugs to see me a third time. They are already screwing things up in that corridor and it is only going to get worse. One statue is broken and I'm convinced there are bugs in there living and climbing. Part of it is shattered now and I noticed ooze coming from the crack. All the bugs seem to be looking up. If they get to the abode above I can't be held responsible for what I do to Sammy. I might end up having to burn the whole friggin place down. Anyway, have you run into this sort of thing before?
Chef Jim Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 Yes I have. But quick what color is the carpet?
4merper4mer Posted November 22, 2016 Author Posted November 22, 2016 (edited) Yes I have. But quick what color is the carpet? It's like a natural thing. White/off white. But it picks up the red ogre from the walls and sort of glows. It makes it look golden. The bugs were clinging to it which also made it look a little different this time. Does that matter? Edit: I also remembered that the manufacturer of the levitating suction cups...which are a secret product so keep it on the down low btw....calls them stickles. Their marketing guy evidently sucks. Edited November 22, 2016 by 4merper4mer
Augie Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 (edited) Yup. Did Sammy have any women with him? They were in the front room......with Shady. Edited November 22, 2016 by Augie
4merper4mer Posted November 22, 2016 Author Posted November 22, 2016 (edited) Yup. Did Sammy have any women with him? Hard to say because the hallway gets a little T shaped at the end. I thought I heard some giggling coming from back there but I was too preoccupied with the bugs to be sure and its not like I can see around corners. When I can back with the stickles Sammy was gone and so was anyone else who may have been here. All that was left of the Salamander were some burnt parts. What does this have to do with solving the problem? I'd use an exterminator but that might ruin the carpet. Geez. Edited November 22, 2016 by 4merper4mer
Chef Jim Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 (edited) I'm not trying to solve the problem. I'm just trying to figure if this is something I've heard before. If it's anything like that I'm out. I don't want to have anything to do with it. Not a goddamn thing. Edited November 22, 2016 by Chef Jim
DC Tom Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 Hard to say because the hallway gets a little T shaped at the end. I thought I heard some giggling coming from back there but I was too preoccupied with the bugs to be sure and its not like I can see around corners. When I can back with the stickles Sammy was gone and so was anyone else who may have been here. All that was left of the Salamander were some burnt parts. What does this have to do with solving the problem? I'd use an exterminator but that might ruin the carpet. Geez. How does something get "a little T-shaped?" It's either T-shaped, or it isn't.
4merper4mer Posted November 22, 2016 Author Posted November 22, 2016 (edited) I'm not trying to solve the problem. I'm just trying to figure if this is something I've heard before. If it's anything like that I'm out. I don't want to have anything to do with it. Not a goddamn thing. Can you at least tell me what happened? How does something get "a little T-shaped?" It's either T-shaped, or it isn't. It's not a full "T". In other words, the parts at the top do not extend that far when compared to the narrow part. It is more like an upper case i. Anyway there may have been some inexperienced girls giggling while Sammy was roasting a salamander. I don't think the exact dimensions of the corridor are all that critical. Can you help or not? Edited November 22, 2016 by 4merper4mer
Chef Jim Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 Can you at least tell me what happened? I can't tell you. I don't remember. It was a time when I used to do a lot of drugs. It all made sense then but now that I'm sober it really is kind of scary. I'd rather not revisit that time in my life. I wish you luck.
4merper4mer Posted November 22, 2016 Author Posted November 22, 2016 I can't tell you. I don't remember. It was a time when I used to do a lot of drugs. It all made sense then but now that I'm sober it really is kind of scary. I'd rather not revisit that time in my life. I wish you luck. OK Thanks. I might have to go in tonight. I don't know what happens with these crawly things when I'm not there. I don't want to let the situation get more out of control. I don't have any more sticklers and can't find Beerboy. I might have to walk through that hallway. And that door Sammy went through is heavy and wooden. It shut automatically after a while and is definitely shut by now. I have the key but opening it takes a while and I don't want to let bugs in. I'll have to go through it like the eye of a needle. Once I'm up there I can think. I'll have to make some decisions but I'm confident I can get things back to normal. It's a tricky place up there and can be confusing but there is a problem to be solved. I've got to go in to get out of it. Wish me luck. I put in a wireless and a wireful up there recently so I should be able to send reports but there will be some down time while I think.
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