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Posted (edited)

**Breaking News: Famous Uggs model Tom Brady will not be playing in tonights matchup for some reason. We have left several voicemails on Tom's phone but he has not responded for comment for some reason.

 

Tonight's matchup features two undefeated AFC teams, the loathsome New England Patriots* and the Texans of Houston. It should be a defensive struggle as the man who was benched last year in favor of Peyton Manning's corpse takes the field against the Pats 5th string rookie QB. Belichek will sure to be cheating at a very high level tonight as the Pats look to stay unbeaten, but Bill O'Brien knows all about Belichek's dirty tricks as he spent several years in Fawkesboro holding Belichek's coffee.

 

Did you know Fawkesboro was named after notable English patriot Guy Fawkes? He would be spinning in his grave to find out his namesake is now synonymous with treachery and deception. For shame Patriots*.

 

 

More updates to follow*

Edited by Jauronimo
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Posted (edited)

Alan Branch is taking a wait and see approach with the Brisket for now, but if he sucks you can expect him to DWI his way to the Broncos.

 

It turns out interfering with the fair catch is still illegal.

 

Brisket takes the field in place of injured lesbian and breakfast food enthusiast Janeane Garafalo. Hold on to your dicks!

Edited by Jauronimo
Posted

I agree, the Patriots are hated twice over (at lease twice over).

 

But I always kind of like rooting for teams when they run out of QBs. Hope they lose but I'll laugh with glee if their QB makes good plays.

Posted (edited)

O'Brien wisely stops the clock with 22 minutes remaining in the half. All those grueling hours spent at Andy Reid's School for Game Management and Parenting Children Too have clearly paid off.

 

CBS showing off why they lay claim to America's #1 Wednesday, 9-9:30, ethnic mis-match, comedic drama, and announce the reboot of that mildly successful show that some people watched 20 years ago. Kudos!

Edited by Jauronimo
Posted (edited)

Hey a perfect use of TO, Rex concurs with the call O'Brien

 

 

One good thing so far is the Twitter live stream of the game is on point again.

Edited by MAJBobby
Posted

I kinda want to see brisket get hurt just so we can see the Pats bring out Edelman (or whichever WR it is) as their backup and see what he can do, which is most likely end up winning the game with some be calls to help them out

 

Same thing could happen (and with their luck probably will) in Cleveland if their starter goes down and they don't think whitehurst is ready, where Pryor could end up showing off his QB "skills"

Posted

Mass Holes are going undefeated this year if they don't lose tonight. Brace yourselves for, "Brady's Pissed", "Us Against Everbody", blah, blah, blah. It's just as annoying as, "The Patriot Way."

 

Let this end already!

Posted (edited)

A quick whistle may have prevented a Houston turnover. Will the Patriots* ever catch a break???

 

The answer is yes.

Edited by Jauronimo
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