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Posted

Dear Mr. Bon Jersey,

 

In a parallel universe somewhere, you purchased the Buffalo Bills franchise. So far in that universe you have done everything the same way as Mr. Pegula. You retained Doug Whaley, hired Rex Ryan and saw identical results on the field including Thursday night's game.

 

In that universe I, along with every other Bills fan on the planet, think you are doing these things in an effort to sabotage the franchise and have them move to your favorite glamour town full of idiot Canadians and hoity toity douche bags....Toronto. I apologize for feeling this way in that parallel universe because as this universe demonstrates, things can go horribly wrong even when intentions are good. To blame you for bad intentions and purposely ruining the team this way in your ownership universe is unfair. I'm sorry.

 

To be clear, I am still fully aware that you and your buddy Bob Kraft are duplicitous pieces of crap and would have moved the Bills to Toronto in one way or another. My apology is limited to blaming you for the current on field debacle. The rest of your involvement with the Bills, your "music", your personality and your hair remain things I find abhorrent. I am so glad Mr. Pegula bought the Bills instead of you. The only drawback to you missing out is that it has freed time for you to make more albums. That sucks for the ears of anyone who listens but my ears are fine so no big deal.

 

Please go shrivel up and die somewhere but do so knowing that the parallel universe me is wrong in thinking the terrible product you've put on the field is a conspiracy.

Posted (edited)

Dear Mr. Bon Jersey,

 

In a parallel universe somewhere, you purchased the Buffalo Bills franchise. So far in that universe you have done everything the same way as Mr. Pegula. You retained Doug Whaley, hired Rex Ryan and saw identical results on the field including Thursday night's game.

 

In that universe I, along with every other Bills fan on the planet, think you are doing these things in an effort to sabotage the franchise and have them move to your favorite glamour town full of idiot Canadians and hoity toity douche bags....Toronto. I apologize for feeling this way in that parallel universe because as this universe demonstrates, things can go horribly wrong even when intentions are good. To blame you for bad intentions and purposely ruining the team this way in your ownership universe is unfair. I'm sorry.

 

To be clear, I am still fully aware that you and your buddy Bob Kraft are duplicitous pieces of crap and would have moved the Bills to Toronto in one way or another. My apology is limited to blaming you for the current on field debacle. The rest of your involvement with the Bills, your "music", your personality and your hair remain things I find abhorrent. I am so glad Mr. Pegula bought the Bills instead of you. The only drawback to you missing out is that it has freed time for you to make more albums. That sucks for the ears of anyone who listens but my ears are fine so no big deal.

 

Please go shrivel up and die somewhere but do so knowing that the parallel universe me is wrong in thinking the terrible product you've put on the field is a conspiracy.

Thank you! I concur wholeheartedly with every word. This is easily the best, most incisive piece written about the Bills this year. Not only is it excellent sports commentary, but it has far-reaching implications in the fields of music criticism and astrophysics. Bravo!

Edited by Cugalabanza
Posted

On the plus side JBJ would help put Bills fans out of their misery.

At least when the Bills go down with JBJ, it will be in a blaze of glory.

 

And we know that JBJ will be there for us.

 

And if we had to fire someone like Roman, maybe it was just time to take our bad medicine?

Posted

At least when the Bills go down with JBJ, it will be in a blaze of glory.

 

And we know that JBJ will be there for us.

 

And if we had to fire someone like Roman, maybe it was just time to take our bad medicine?

On second thought, having to listen to Bon Jovi songs is miserable enough.

Posted

Thank you! I concur wholeheartedly with every word. This is easily the best, most incisive piece written about the Bills this year. Not only is it excellent sports commentary, but it has far-reaching implications in the fields of music criticism and astrophysics. Bravo!

 

Dear Coolzabanga,

 

I appreciate the kind words but felt compelled to use strikethrough to correct one portion of your post.

Posted

Dear Coolzabanga,

 

I appreciate the kind words but felt compelled to use strikethrough to correct one portion of your post.

You are correct to do so. A copy of the album "Slippery When Wet" will be donated to Kevin Kolb in your name.

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