30dive Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Please allow me to rant. Yesterday our 10 year old daughter comes home, she’s a little quite, which means that she is thinking about something. No problem, this is normal with her. I take her to swim practice, ask her if everything is OK? She says, like all kids do, “yea daddy”. Later that night my wife calls me in the kitchen to talk with our daughter…..She tells us that a girl in her fourth grade class has been telling her and the other girls in the class at recess how she has performed oral sex!!!!! (We confirmed these recess talks with another family that lives near us, who's daughter went into an even greater discription than our daughter gave us.) Now please let me tell you, my wife and I are not prudes, we believe we are very honest about “worldly” things with our kids and I as a dad have been prepared for the oral sex thing that seems to be persistent in middle school today but not 4th grade. Now my kid is a good kid, she’s smart, athletic, sings in the choir (obviously takes after her mother on all counts) but this has struck a nasty nerve with her and she is really uncomfortable with these recess conversations. Now that may be a good thing, as we believe she will listen to our suggestion (read demand) that she and her other friends not entertain this topic or others like it. I’m confident she will take our advice and change the subject and/or walk away, but peer pressure being what it is……… All I can think is another case of innocence lost. I’m so mad at this other kid, her parents, society, etc. I could just spit. My wife is going to the school today to speak with the teacher, only because we have no other idea on what to do. This just sucks. Thank you for letting me rant. Sorry for pouring my soul out here, but has anyone here ever had to deal with this?
IDBillzFan Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Sorry you're going through this. I can only say I'm glad I only have a son right now.
ofiba Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Be happy your girl is uncomfortable with the talk instead of the one talking about it. Sounds like you did something right.
aussiew Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Sorry about what it is doing to your daughter's innocence. But this could also be a blessing in disguise for the girl who is doing the talking - a FOURTH GRADER? She may well be a victim of child abuse or incest and is using this chat time as a cry for help. Be sure to follow up with the school so someone can dig further into this issue.
Puhonix Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Be happy your girl is uncomfortable with the talk instead of the one talking about it. Sounds like you did something right. 249778[/snapback] Amen, way to go. Its not easy raising children these days.
scribo Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 The other child's parents must be told ASAP. But, tragically, I'm willing to bet the other kid's parents don't even care. Really, really makes me question if I want to have children at all. I'm getting married later this year, and we're still trying to figure out for ourselves if this world is suitable for children anymore. I know this is a very bad way to look at things, but I cannot help it. It must be so terrible to know there is so much you cannot protect your child from.
SouthernMan Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Just heard a similar thing from my sister. She'd told me a little while ago about her 12 year old daughter being interested in some boy. How cute. She, like your daughter, is extremely active in school functions - chorus, band, swim team, and variety of other clubs - including one that promotes abstinence. My sister just told me why they 'broke up' - or rather, stopped talking. The boy tried to go up her shirt and then wanted her to give him a 'blow job'. Of course she was grossed out by this idea and that was the end for those two. Seems a lot of the other girls engage in this sort of sluttery. Some even think it's a safe alternative to going all the way. I hate it too that the innocence is lost so early. I'm sure she was very hurt by all of this. I told my sister that she probably needs to explain to my niece that boys think about sex entirely differently than girls at that age. Boys are naive at that age and don't have any idea about the emotional and romantic attachments to physical sex that most respectable girls have. With boys it's all physical. Anyway, I agree, it's very sad that kids are exposed to so much at such a young age. Anyone who doesn't think the sexual cultural bombardment by Hollywood doesn't have an impact is nuts. It's a constant battle by caring parents to protect their kids from images they're not prepared to fully comprehend.
PTS Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 My girlfriend's brother told us about "blow job parties" that were held by girls in his middle school. It's scary now and days. I didn't know what to do with my thing until high school. Now and days, kids are doing stuff at a ridiculously young age. But who do you blame? I think there is enough blame to go all around.
IDBillzFan Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Really, really makes me question if I want to have children at all. I'm getting married later this year, and we're still trying to figure out for ourselves if this world is suitable for children anymore. 249790[/snapback] For what it's worth, I spent the last 41 years convinced I didn't want to bring children into this world, and I've spent the last 12 weeks with my newborn son kicking myself in the ass for not doing this sooner. The world won't get better on its own. It's up to us to make it better. The people in this world who would and could raise the best, most productive children should not be scared off by the butt-reaming morons who have children but ignore personal accountability. Like I said, for what it's worth...
30dive Posted February 23, 2005 Author Posted February 23, 2005 Thanks all I'm feeling a wee bit better.......For some strange reason I knew I would.
scribo Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 For what it's worth, I spent the last 41 years convinced I didn't want to bring children into this world, and I've spent the last 12 weeks with my newborn son kicking myself in the ass for not doing this sooner. The world won't get better on its own. It's up to us to make it better. The people in this world who would and could raise the best, most productive children should not be scared off by the butt-reaming morons who have children but ignore personal accountability. Like I said, for what it's worth... 249805[/snapback] Thanks, LA. I apprecaite the insight.
CoachChuckDickerson Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 My wife teaches 4th grade. We live in an upper middle class / middle class neighborhood. You would not believe the number of parents who just don't give a crap nowadays. School is a daycare for them. Nothing more. If something bad happens it is the teachers fault. Some parents couldn't be more clueless if the tried. I applaud you for the relationship you have with your kids. Giving a sh-t is half the battle.
LabattBlue Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Considering I just posted a couple of weeks ago about letting my 10 year old daughter go out without parental supervision, this is the last thing I needed to here. Do any parents actually raise children anymore or do they just bring them into the world and turn them loose. http://www.stadiumwall.com/index.php?showtopic=17511
Fezmid Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 For what it's worth, I spent the last 41 years convinced I didn't want to bring children into this world, and I've spent the last 12 weeks with my newborn son kicking myself in the ass for not doing this sooner. The world won't get better on its own. It's up to us to make it better. The people in this world who would and could raise the best, most productive children should not be scared off by the butt-reaming morons who have children but ignore personal accountability. Like I said, for what it's worth... 249805[/snapback] Also for what it's worth, parents (and potential parents) have been saying the same thing for a VERY long time. Watch some old episodes of All in the Family and the characters say "I don't think we should bring kids into this world, it's all messed up!" People have been saying that for a long time, and the problems are always different for each generation but there's always problems. Always has been, always will be. CW
Alaska Darin Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Sorry you're going through this. I can only say I'm glad I only have a son right now. 249769[/snapback] Yeah, you only have to worry about one penis. Guys with daughters have to worry about all of them.
IDBillzFan Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Yeah, you only have to worry about one penis. 249870[/snapback] Yes. One unusually large and tremendous penis.
plenzmd1 Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Thanks all I'm feeling a wee bit better.......For some strange reason I knew I would. 249812[/snapback] Scary dude, especially because I live in Richmond as well. My daughter is in Kindegarten and amazes me what she is already is learning, not from a bad standpoint, but just academically. Really wild how far advanced kids are today from where we wereboth in and out of school. It kills me that I have to block almost all of the channels the kids want to watch such as Nickleodean and Cartoon Network cause of the stuff on the shows aimed at kids. PBS Kids and boomerrang is about it for my little knuckleheads, and boy am I popular in my house
BillsFanNC Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Sorry you're going through this. I can only say I'm glad I only have a son right now. 249769[/snapback] I thought the same thing as I read this. However, having a son will bring it's own set of problems, namely preventing him from being on the receiving end of this scenario at 11 or 12 years old. This new dad thing is awesome, but reading the accounts from some of the more experienced parents here sure can be scary.
Alaska Darin Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Scary dude, especially because I live in Richmond as well. My daughter is in Kindegarten and amazes me what she is already is learning, not from a bad standpoint, but just academically. Really wild how far advanced kids are today from where we wereboth in and out of school. It kills me that I have to block almost all of the channels the kids want to watch such as Nickleodean and Cartoon Network cause of the stuff on the shows aimed at kids. PBS Kids and boomerrang is about it for my little knuckleheads, and boy am I popular in my house 249877[/snapback] If you're not popular with your kids, you're probably doing a good job parenting. Soldier on.
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