I'm depressed. Somebody make me laugh, I dare you.

[mrags]

 

couldn't remember Verne Troyer's name so googled Midget Actors and half the pictures where of naked men !!! What the Hell is wrong with these idiots, like I want to see that $#!t

youre the one that googled it. Edited August 18, 2016 by mrags

[Cugalabanza]

couldn't remember Verne Troyer's name so googled Midget Actors and half the pictures where of naked men !!! What the Hell is wrong with these idiots, like I want to see that $#!t

Google probably just did that for you based on your preferences and search history.

[frostbitmic]

Two baby seals walk into a club .......

[Pete]

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/hilarious-photos-show-real-meaning-8653467#rlabs=5%20rt$category%20p$4

[GottaRun]

Old man - For our 25th anniversary my wife asked for a trip to Italy. For our 50th I decided to bring her back.

[Pine Barrens Mafia]

I had an appointment with a urologist.

 

He told me I needed to stop masturbating.

 

I asked him why.

 

He told me, "because I'm trying to talk to you."

 

[ChevyVanMiller]

A guy goes into the hospital to have his leg removed. Upon waking from the anesthesia the man looks up to see his doctor standing beside his bed.

 

"I've got good news and bad news," the Doc says, "Which do you want first?"

 

"Uh, you'd better give me the bad news," the guy says.

 

"We made an error and removed the wrong leg. Once we realized our mistake we went back and removed the diseased leg. I'm afraid that both of your legs are gone."

 

The guy looks down and realizes that the doctor isn't fooling, both of his legs are gone.

 

"Oh my God, my legs are gone," the man cries out in horror. "What could possibly be the good news?"

 

"The guy in the next bed wants to buy your shoes."

[RobRyanFan]

A couple were going on a vacation together but the wife had an emergency at work. So they agreed the husband would go as planned and his wife would meet him at the hotel the next day.

When the husband got to his hotel and had checked in, he thought he should send his wife a quick email letting her know he’d got there ok.

As he typed in her email address, he made a typo and his email was sent to an elderly preacher’s wife instead. It just so happened that her husband had sadly died just the day before.

When the grieving old preacher’s wife checked her emails, she read the one from the holiday maker, let out an awful, loud, piercing scream, and fainted on the floor.

At the sound of her falling, her family rushed into the room. They tended to her and then looked at her computer and saw this email on her screen:

Dearest Wife,

Just checked in to my room. Everything is prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. It sure is hot down here.

Edited August 18, 2016 by RobRyanFan

[Shamrock]

What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

 

 

I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face!

 

 

My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class wank him off. I said "son, that's three schools this year"...

 

 

Maybe teaching isn't for you?

[mrags]

A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugging, liberal Democrat and an anti-hunter purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA . There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree.

 

As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.

 

In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a Democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.

 

She sat and waited three hours before the doctor re-appeared.The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"

 

He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a 'recreational area' so close to a Waste Treatment Facility.

 

And I'm sorry, but due to Obama-Care they turned you down.

[Cugalabanza]

A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugging, liberal Democrat...

https://blog.codinghorror.com/content/images/2014/10/stock-footage-grinding-the-axe.jpg

Edited August 19, 2016 by Cugalabanza

[mrags]

https://blog.codinghorror.com/content/images/2014/10/stock-footage-grinding-the-axe.jpg

just read the joke stupid

[Cugalabanza]

just read the joke stupid

I read the joke. It was ok, considering the extremely labored agenda-pushing set-up. 4/10.

[Buffalo Barbarian]

Google probably just did that for you based on your preferences and search history.

 

(Way to delete my comment mods )

 

no I never looked at those things, it was probably because Verne was naked in one of those pics and so the others showed up.

[Chef Jim]

I've not been around much lately but I can't for the life of me figure out why you guys want to cheer this old bugger up.

[mrags]

I've not been around much lately but I can't for the life of me figure out why you guys want to cheer this old bugger up.

the last thing we need is someone offing themselves around here.

[NoSaint]

the problem is, when will everyone else decide to leave and start a new place without me

We're just keeping up the show here so you won't come looking for the real board we use

[mrags]

We're just keeping up the show here so you won't come looking for the real board we use

great. So on the other site, does 26CornerBlitz have 3 times as many posts that consist of nothing but quotes from other people's tweets all day long?

[Chef Jim]

the last thing we need is someone offing themselves around here.

Eh just as long as he remembers to wear the shirt.

[BringBackFergy]

Does BB feel better yet??