BringBackFergy Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 You'll be sitting on your own testicles in no time. Welcome to the club!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4merper4mer Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Getting hitched in 32 days. Any wedding day advice? Marriage advice? Well wishes or warnings? Have at it. Tell Ed and Sage we all say hello. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unbillievable Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 1) Accept that it will be your responsibility to take care of everything; money, chores; retirement; etc. Do everything for both you and her...but agree when she tells everyone you guys share the workload 50/50. 2)Nothing you do will make her happy. Just concentrate on making yourself happy without her finding out. Remember, her mission is to make you as miserable as she is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gomper Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Everyone should try marriage once. Kidding l. Good luck and don't sweat the small things. You're together for a good reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drinkTHEkoolaid Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Best advice, don't sweat the small things, don't hold grudges, always treat her with respect Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pine Barrens Mafia Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 1) Accept that it will be your responsibility to take care of everything; money, chores; retirement; etc. Do everything for both you and her...but agree when she tells everyone you guys share the workload 50/50. 2)Nothing you do will make her happy. Just concentrate on making yourself happy without her finding out. Remember, her mission is to make you as miserable as she is. Nailed it. Marriage is nothing more than legalized highway robbery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeviF Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 2)Nothing you do will make her happy. Excellent post. She is responsible for her own happiness. My advice is don't. But barring that, best wishes for you and the future Mrs. Wooderson. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wooderson Posted June 29, 2016 Author Share Posted June 29, 2016 I don't really have marriage advice, but here's what works for Mrs. Bandit and I: it's not a 50/50 deal; literally everything is my responsibility. That goes for both of us...if something isn't going well, then it's my responsibility to address it, not hers. She feels the same way, thankfully. As to the wedding, well, I ran weddings for 6+ years, and here's the advice I always gave: once you get to the day of, just relax. All the work is done, and it's time to enjoy yourselves. We've been to about 16 weddings together since we started dating so we feel like we've learned a lot from other ones we've been to. What to do, what not to do. Relaxation sounds great. I even keep forgetting about our honeymoon because we've been just working non-stop. Good advice. Don't do it man. Run. Take all your money, liquidate all your assets, and disappear to Venezuela. The thought had crossed my mind...although I sweat like a pig. Just buy a house and give it to her. It's quicker and less painful. The house we live in is already in her name, so I'm all set! Keep 3 bank accounts: 80% - Family money, long term savings, etc. 10% - Her discretionary - shoes, purses, spa 10% - your discretionary - golf, bills tickets, guys' nights out on Aero Dr.... I like that...more like 20% for my discretionary fund haha Add a 4th bank account a family member holds for money you skim off and deposits for you. if it works out someday you have a bunch of money you can surprise her with for that dream vacation. If not it's not counted in the 50/50 split since she doesn't know about it and its not in your name. Danger of that is family memeber runs off with the cash LOL. Good luck. I like that idea! I kind of have something going on now that she knows about but doesn't know how much. I guess I should hide it before it becomes OURS. Haha My wife and I used to play ceremony music for weddings on the side. It was actually kind of interesting to see dozens of weddings and to see how people do things differently. I have tons of good stories too. My advice re the wedding day itself is for you and your bride not to stress it. I wouldn't even do more than a talk-through 5 minute rehearsal. The people that over plan every detail and stress about it always have things that go wrong. I'm not much to stress about things, but she definitely is. Our ceremony is very short, no more than 15-20 mins tops so our rehearsal will also be short. We're getting married on a golf green at Holiday Valley so not very formal in that regard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Don't do it man. Run. Take all your money, liquidate all your assets, and disappear to Venezuela. go sit on a testes. Congrats Wooderson! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guffalo Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Her paycheck remains "Her" paycheck, your paycheck becomes "our" paycheck. Get used to it, Have fun and relax on the wedding day, enjoy the people that come to the ceremony, it was a blur for me, but if you have time to do all the pics, do the meet and greets with everyone and then try to connect with the people that you rarely see. I didn't get a chance to see the out of towners and a few years later they were no longer around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canadian Bills Fan Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Keep the bathroom a private place. I refuse to let my wife pee in front of me. I dont get why she even wants to pee while Im brushing my teeth. Just wait the 30 seconds until Im done or you go pee first and then I will brush my teeth. CBF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wooderson Posted June 29, 2016 Author Share Posted June 29, 2016 Tell Ed and Sage we all say hello. Is that where Sage went? I was wondering about him a while back. Too many lentils I guess... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talley56 Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Never been married and I don't plan on it so all I can give you is the well wishes. Wish you the best and congrats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WotAGuy Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Make sure your girlfriends all know that once you're married, there's no more over-nighters. It's all nooners from now on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canadian Bills Fan Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Set the bar low. The more you do in the begining of the marriage, the more likely you will be stuck doing that for the rest of your life. If I could go back in time, I would make it seem that I couldnt even toast bread let alone be a great cook. Oh, get used to the fact that she only needs to have sex when SHE wants to now. CBF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unbillievable Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Her paycheck remains "Her" paycheck, your paycheck becomes "our" paycheck. Get used to it, Have fun and relax on the wedding day, enjoy the people that come to the ceremony, it was a blur for me, but if you have time to do all the pics, do the meet and greets with everyone and then try to connect with the people that you rarely see. I didn't get a chance to see the out of towners and a few years later they were no longer around. Everything she buys is for "us" and doesn't count towards any budget previously set. Any man who doesn't hide money from his wife is a fool. It's her job to hide her spending habits. It's your job to hide how much you actually make. It's not about expecting a divorce, but being prepared. I know so many married men who do this just so they can sleep at night. Women will stretch your salary to the very last cent, leaving no room for emergencies. ...and guess who's fault it is when there is nothing to spare when the water heater bursts? I actually talked to a coworker who's wife calculated how much overtime he needed to work so they can talk a cruise every year (instead of every other -like they discussed before marriage). Guess how much more time she needed to work? zero. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canadian Bills Fan Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Words of wisdom here. Thank you sir CBF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unbillievable Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 Keep the bathroom a private place. I refuse to let my wife pee in front of me. I dont get why she even wants to pee while Im brushing my teeth. Just wait the 30 seconds until Im done or you go pee first and then I will brush my teeth. CBF You can thank women's magazines for this. Somehow, some woman got it into her head that being able to pee in front of your spouse is a sign of intimacy... and she managed to convince the coven. It's on the barometer between passing gas and watching her give birth. She can then brag about how close you guys are to her girlfriends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Miner Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 Come up with a plane for the possible need to dispose of the in-laws bodies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canadian Bills Fan Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 Come up with a plane for the possible need to dispose of the in-laws bodies. I agree, but first he would need to come up with a plan to get the plane CBF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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