DC Tom Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 No, I don't. I'll hazard a guess that it's because I'm not a complete !@#$ing idiot.
WotAGuy Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 Never had that happen, but I hate it when my johnson splashes into the bowl. Gotta reel it in like a garden hose.
Doc Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 So you can relate? I try to be careful, but it usually happens during the night when I am sleepy or sometimes drunk. I forget. No, never done it.
Johnny Hammersticks Posted June 21, 2016 Author Posted June 21, 2016 No, I don't. I'll hazard a guess that it's because I'm not a complete !@#$ing idiot. You make a good point, Tom. Grab your boys before sitting down? Good suggestion.
mead107 Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 Wait till you are Beerballs age, they will hang to your knees
BuffaloBill Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 My theory is that your wife has an evil plot against your boys.
Johnny Hammersticks Posted June 21, 2016 Author Posted June 21, 2016 My theory is that you are too much of a front sitter on the toilet. Need to shift your weight back, like golf. I thought about my technique. Even did a walk through today to ensure that my mechanics were in check. Typically when I sit on my bells, it's off to the side...like under hamstring. My theory is that your wife has an evil plot against your boys. Could be. We're not having any more babies, so maybe she wants to destroy my seed. No, never done it. Micro balls?
/dev/null Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 No, I don't. I'll hazard a guess that it's because I'm not a complete !@#$ing idiot. Or maybe your abrasive personality is just a mechanism to compensate for other deficiencies.
Gugny Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 1. I have never sat on either of my testicles. 2. Johnny - perhaps you need a bigger toilet seat. 3. When urinating after waking up in the middle of the night, I always sit when I pee. 4. We are dealing with the "sliding to the side" toilet seat in our upstairs bathroom. It's because the seat is cheap. My wife bought it at Walmart for under $10.
Saxum Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 Every once in a while, when sitting down on the toilet seat, I will sit right down on and squash one or more of my testicles. My wife came running yesterday when it happened, as she said she though one of the kids was hurting the dog (my pain squeal). Does anyone else have this problem? I don't view myself as having unusually large or long balls, but I think they may be slightly above average. Although it only happens 5 or 6 times per year, I notice it happening more frequently when it is humid outside and things unavoidably stick to my thighs. My friend and colleague just suggested I apply baby powder regularly; especially during the summer when it is hot and humid. Thoughts? Other helpful tips? Heard about this condition. Also known as "Thunder Thighs".
/dev/null Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 1. I have never sat on either of my testicles. But has Johnny Hammersticks ever sat on either of yours?
BUFFALOKIE Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 (edited) Damn. I thought biting my tongue was bad. Tom Brady may have advice on this one. Have you tried standing on the rim and squatting? What does shower boy think? Roids. Steroids is the cure. Edited June 21, 2016 by SAMMY HANDWICH
Johnny Hammersticks Posted June 21, 2016 Author Posted June 21, 2016 4. We are dealing with the "sliding to the side" toilet seat in our upstairs bathroom. It's because the seat is cheap. My wife bought it at Walmart for under $10. Get it fixed man. My buddy Jason got his junk caught in the sliding toilet seat, and subsequently went cross-eyed. Got kicked by a mule when he was 7 and they went back to normal. I don't know... But has Johnny Hammersticks ever sat on either of yours? I'm not willing to rule anything out at this point.
Beerball Posted June 22, 2016 Posted June 22, 2016 I have never in my life sat on a testis, but, I have given your predicament much thought & I think I have a solution. Get yourself a fishing pole that comes in 2-3 sections. Throw out the upper section(s), they are too flimsy to handle your jewels. Attach a spinning real to the bottom (hefty) portion of the sack pole and load it with 100lb test line (don't go with clear line, could be dicey) Next you need to construct a collar/harness that is capable of holding the sack pole comfortably. Go to the store and buy a jock with an extra large sack sack. When you plan to take a sitter slip the harness over your neck and let out enough line so that the sack sack is hanging midway between your navel and your junk. Place your sack into the sack sack & sit with 100% certainty that you will not be crushing one of your boys.
26CornerBlitz Posted June 22, 2016 Posted June 22, 2016 I have never in my life sat on a testis, but, I have given your predicament much thought & I think I have a solution. Get yourself a fishing pole that comes in 2-3 sections. Throw out the upper section(s), they are too flimsy to handle your jewels. Attach a spinning real to the bottom (hefty) portion of the sack pole and load it with 100lb test line (don't go with clear line, could be dicey) Next you need to construct a collar/harness that is capable of holding the sack pole comfortably. Go to the store and buy a jock with an extra large sack sack. When you plan to take a sitter slip the harness over your neck and let out enough line so that the sack sack is hanging midway between your navel and your junk. Place your sack into the sack sack & sit with 100% certainty that you will not be crushing one of your boys. A Rube Goldberg idea at its best.
Just Jack Posted June 22, 2016 Posted June 22, 2016 I have never in my life sat on a testis, but, I have given your predicament much thought & I think I have a solution. Get yourself a fishing pole that comes in 2-3 sections. Throw out the upper section(s), they are too flimsy to handle your jewels. Attach a spinning real to the bottom (hefty) portion of the sack pole and load it with 100lb test line (don't go with clear line, could be dicey) Next you need to construct a collar/harness that is capable of holding the sack pole comfortably. Go to the store and buy a jock with an extra large sack sack. When you plan to take a sitter slip the harness over your neck and let out enough line so that the sack sack is hanging midway between your navel and your junk. Place your sack into the sack sack & sit with 100% certainty that you will not be crushing one of your boys. Or just be a man and hold your sack in your hands as you sit down.
Beerball Posted June 22, 2016 Posted June 22, 2016 Or just be a man and hold your sack in your hands as you sit down. So, it's happened to you too?
Beerball Posted June 22, 2016 Posted June 22, 2016 Have you considered applying for shark tank? The only fly in the ointment is the fishing line acting like a tourniquet if it somehow got wrapped around his willy.
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