Chaos Theory and the Buffalo Bills

[BringBackFergy]

Here's a thread that allows us to post theories for certain events involving the Bills. Chaos Theory is quite simple: the littlest things which occur today can have a major impact on events tomorrow.

 

"Lesean McCoy Chaos Theory"

1) Sat. Feb 6th at 7.23am, a 14 yr old migrant worker in Texas is finishing his McDonalds breakfast sandwich and throws the wrapper toward the waste basket in the factory but misses.

2) The supervisor is making the inspection at the work table and slips on the McDonalds wrapper causing him to fall and sustain a deep wound to his scalp.

3) The local rescue squad is called and they arrive to take the supervisor to the hospital for stitches but the driver is hung over so he can't see clear. En route to the hospital, the ambulance driver hits an Asti Spumanti delivery truck causing 85% of the 2016 vintage bubbly to explode or shatter on the highway.

4) The delivery truck driver, being a smartass posts a photo on Twitter which says "Champagne in short supply...get it while you can" and attaches a pic of the Asti and the supervisor holding a hankerchief over his head which looks like he is upset over the loss of bubbly.

5) The photo makes its rounds and is re-tweeted to Captain O''Connor at Philly precinct #23 who had planned to get some Asti Spumanti for his wife Esther to celebrate their 33rd anniversary. Fearing the Asti Spumanti 2016 vintage was in short supply, at roll call he asked his patrolmen to pick up a few bottles for him.

6) Two officers hoping to make good with the Captain finished their shift on Sunday and decided to go out. They were at a bar and decided to order a few extra bottles to take home for Cappy so they could get a promotion. The bottles of Asti arrived at the table but one was grabbed by a third party who said "I'll take one of these cause I know all about the shortage of Asti Spumanti and you ain't gone corner the market on my fave bubbly" A fight ensues and Lesean happens to be there protecting his friends.

 

Chaos theory: 14 year old worker in TX missed the shot to the waste basket. Chaos ensues and it ultimately affects Shady.

[PlayoffsPlease]

Chaos Theory: Doug Whaley was hired by the Buffalo Bill. Chaos ensues and it ultimately affects Shady.

[Gugny]

1) Mead takes his normal 6-hour nap during his 4-hour shift.

2) During said nap, a crane malfunctions and hits a trainee in the head.

3) Because Mead is asleep, the trainee was not wearing a helmet and was knocked out cold.

4) Mead suddenly awakens and sees the young man, lying there unconscious.

5) Quick-thinking as always, Mead nurses the trainee back to consciousness by holding his head up and giving him small sips of wine.

6) When the man comes to, he screams at the top of his lungs, "I HEREBY DECLARE TODAY RED BOXERS DAY!"

7) Overheard by the 30+ hourly employees doing nothing but checking Facebook and other social media outlets, the newly-named "holiday," ends up going viral.

8) In downtown Philly, a group of off duty cops are at an exclusive club, having some beers and talking about their last arrest of the night - a guy named PJ who was caught sodomizing a blowup doll in front of a group of homeless children huddled around a makeshift fire made in some corn-buttering contraption.

9) As they sit and laugh about PJ, one of the cops notices a tweet about National Red Boxers day. Immediately, they all agree to a bet that states that anyone not wearing red boxers will have to buy a bottle of Asti and they make a pact to drink however many bottles that ends up yielding.

10) About 15 minutes later, at the same club, LeSean McCoy wants to celebrate making 3 years' worth of money by playing a half of season of football. He asks the bartender (politely) for a bottle of Asti.

11) The bartender regrettably informed McCoy that the police officers "over there" just bought it all, then offered him a forty of Old E. on the house.

12) McCoy told the bartender that he doesn't drink malt liquor because Billy Dee Williams once turned him down for an autograph and asked if he had any Maddog 20/20. Strike two. They were out.

13) So LeSean approaches the cops and says, "excuse me, sirs, but I would like to buy one of those bottles of bubbly from you; here's a hundy."

14) The cops laugh and one says, "Sorry, bro, these are spoken for. You see, it's National Red Boxer Day and I've got red boxers on, so I'm enjoying my free champagne. How about I buy you an Old E.?"

15) This sets McCoy off and into an immediate rage. He said, "B word, I gots red boxers on and I'm a get my bubbly!"

16) A fight ensues and here we are ... waiting for the news that McCoy has been charged with assault.

 

Chaos Theory: Mead takes a nap. McCoy gets suspended. Bills reach the 17 consecutive year mark for their current playoff drought.

[bobblehead]

No

 

Everyone knows that the paper stock used for McDonald wrappery is void of gloss, therefore the paper is too rough to cause slippage. Perhaps the supervisor of our migrant worker friend should have spilled his coffee on his lap instead. History proves that would be more plausible.

[BringBackFergy]

1) Mead takes his normal 6-hour nap during his 4-hour shift.

2) During said nap, a crane malfunctions and hits a trainee in the head.

3) Because Mead is asleep, the trainee was not wearing a helmet and was knocked out cold.

4) Mead suddenly awakens and sees the young man, lying there unconscious.

5) Quick-thinking as always, Mead nurses the trainee back to consciousness by holding his head up and giving him small sips of wine.

6) When the man comes to, he screams at the top of his lungs, "I HEREBY DECLARE TODAY RED BOXERS DAY!"

7) Overheard by the 30+ hourly employees doing nothing but checking Facebook and other social media outlets, the newly-named "holiday," ends up going viral.

8) In downtown Philly, a group of off duty cops are at an exclusive club, having some beers and talking about their last arrest of the night - a guy named PJ who was caught sodomizing a blowup doll in front of a group of homeless children huddled around a makeshift fire made in some corn-buttering contraption.

9) As they sit and laugh about PJ, one of the cops notices a tweet about National Red Boxers day. Immediately, they all agree to a bet that states that anyone not wearing red boxers will have to buy a bottle of Asti and they make a pact to drink however many bottles that ends up yielding.

10) About 15 minutes later, at the same club, LeSean McCoy wants to celebrate making 3 years' worth of money by playing a half of season of football. He asks the bartender (politely) for a bottle of Asti.

11) The bartender regrettably informed McCoy that the police officers "over there" just bought it all, then offered him a forty of Old E. on the house.

12) McCoy told the bartender that he doesn't drink malt liquor because Billy Dee Williams once turned him down for an autograph and asked if he had any Maddog 20/20. Strike two. They were out.

13) So LeSean approaches the cops and says, "excuse me, sirs, but I would like to buy one of those bottles of bubbly from you; here's a hundy."

14) The cops laugh and one says, "Sorry, bro, these are spoken for. You see, it's National Red Boxer Day and I've got red boxers on, so I'm enjoying my free champagne. How about I buy you an Old E.?"

15) This sets McCoy off and into an immediate rage. He said, "B word, I gots red boxers on and I'm a get my bubbly!"

16) A fight ensues and here we are ... waiting for the news that McCoy has been charged with assault.

 

Chaos Theory: Mead takes a nap. McCoy gets suspended. Bills reach the 17 consecutive year mark for their current playoff drought.

This

[sodbuster]

No

 

Everyone knows that the paper stock used for McDonald wrappery is void of gloss, therefore the paper is too rough to cause slippage. Perhaps the supervisor of our migrant worker friend should have spilled his coffee on his lap instead. History proves that would be more plausible.

yeah, but it's McDonald's, so the paper is incredibly greasy.

[Nanker]

Gravity waves discovered today.

Understanding that, weighs heavily on DC Tom who calls no one an idiot.

Chaos ensues.

[Beerball]

1) Mead takes his normal 6-hour nap during his 4-hour shift.

2) During said nap, a crane malfunctions and hits a trainee in the head.

3) Because Mead is asleep, the trainee was not wearing a helmet and was knocked out cold.

4) Mead suddenly awakens and sees the young man, lying there unconscious.

5) Quick-thinking as always, Mead nurses the trainee back to consciousness by holding his head up and giving him small sips of wine.

6) When the man comes to, he screams at the top of his lungs, "I HEREBY DECLARE TODAY RED BOXERS DAY!"

7) Overheard by the 30+ hourly employees doing nothing but checking Facebook and other social media outlets, the newly-named "holiday," ends up going viral.

8) In downtown Philly, a group of off duty cops are at an exclusive club, having some beers and talking about their last arrest of the night - a guy named PJ who was caught sodomizing a blowup doll in front of a group of homeless children huddled around a makeshift fire made in some corn-buttering contraption.

9) As they sit and laugh about PJ, one of the cops notices a tweet about National Red Boxers day. Immediately, they all agree to a bet that states that anyone not wearing red boxers will have to buy a bottle of Asti and they make a pact to drink however many bottles that ends up yielding.

10) About 15 minutes later, at the same club, LeSean McCoy wants to celebrate making 3 years' worth of money by playing a half of season of football. He asks the bartender (politely) for a bottle of Asti.

11) The bartender regrettably informed McCoy that the police officers "over there" just bought it all, then offered him a forty of Old E. on the house.

12) McCoy told the bartender that he doesn't drink malt liquor because Billy Dee Williams once turned him down for an autograph and asked if he had any Maddog 20/20. Strike two. They were out.

13) So LeSean approaches the cops and says, "excuse me, sirs, but I would like to buy one of those bottles of bubbly from you; here's a hundy."

14) The cops laugh and one says, "Sorry, bro, these are spoken for. You see, it's National Red Boxer Day and I've got red boxers on, so I'm enjoying my free champagne. How about I buy you an Old E.?"

15) This sets McCoy off and into an immediate rage. He said, "B word, I gots red boxers on and I'm a get my bubbly!"

16) A fight ensues and here we are ... waiting for the news that McCoy has been charged with assault.

 

Chaos Theory: Mead takes a nap. McCoy gets suspended. Bills reach the 17 consecutive year mark for their current playoff drought.

What, exactly, is a makeshift fire?

[Gugny]

What, exactly, is a makeshift fire?

 

synonyms: temporary, provisional, interim, stopgap, make-do, standby, rough and ready, improvised, ad hoc, extempore, jury-rigged, jerry-built, thrown together, cobbled together

[Beerball]

synonyms:

 

temporary, provisional, interim, stopgap, make-do, standby, rough and ready, improvised, ad hoc, extempore, jury-rigged, jerry-built, thrown together, cobbled together

the next time I need a synonym I know just the guy to go to. Now, if you'll forgive me...WHAT THE !@#$, EXACTLY, IS A MAKESHIFT FIRE?

[Gugny]

the next time I need a synonym I know just the guy to go to. Now, if you'll forgive me...WHAT THE !@#$, EXACTLY, IS A MAKESHIFT FIRE?

 

In this story, the makeshift fire is a fire that's been cobbled together using a corn buttering contraption.

[Beerball]

 

In this story, the makeshift fire is a fire that's been cobbled together using a corn buttering contraption.

that sounds like a very makeshift response.

[Gugny]

that sounds like a very makeshift response.

 

Yeah? Well the Jerk Store called ....

[BringBackFergy]

 

Yeah? Well the Jerk Store called ....

Chaos theory involving how Beerball forgot to brush his teeth this morning. Any takers? Gugny?

[Gugny]

Chaos theory involving how Beerball forgot to brush his teeth this morning. Any takers? Gugny?

 

I don't have time to give this thought. But I do know that it involves JBoyst62, lavender and homemade GHB.

[Beerball]

Chaos theory involving how Beerball forgot to brush his teeth this morning. Any takers? Gugny?

I brushed it this morning Mr. Laaa Dee Daaa.

[BuffaloBill]

I brushed it this morning Mr. Laaa Dee Daaa.

The use of the phrase Lana Dee Daaa is a sign of severe sexual frustration underpinned by several mental illnesses. The least significant of these illnesses would be schizophrenia. However to the point of the thread:

 

Recent discussions among the mod community about assorted displays of feminine wares led to nowhere.

In response, the Columbus, Ohio faction of TBD attempted to relieve themselves of angry thoughts by meditating in the nude while chanting utterances only those in the 518 area code can translate

Speaking of the 518 boys, having picked up on these chants telepathically they became highly aroused in their weekly lunch session usually held at a hotel that is accommodating to their after lunch "team building"

At this weeks session the team building got out of sorts when one of the wine loving members of the 518 boys realized that his member was not functioning properly

This led a sympathetic 518 boy to immediately leave for Florida in search of viagara to bring home to his brother

While traveling down I-95 this 518 boy entered the city limits of Philadelphia for the first time. He found himself in a very thirsty state.

Therefore, he contacted the only known member of the board who lives in Philly and asked him where his thirst could be quenched

The Philly board member became quite confused by this request because he was daydreaming about one of the scarier women from a wouldya thread

In his state of horniness he therefore directed his 518 brother to a bar where he could obtain bottles of Champaign, to be consumed as road sodas on the way to Florida

Had this 518 brother not bought out most of the Champaign stock there would have been plenty available later for Shady and friends to share,

 

This is why posters from Columbus, Ohio are the root cause of this mess.

[BringBackFergy]

The use of the phrase Lana Dee Daaa is a sign of severe sexual frustration underpinned by several mental illnesses. The least significant of these illnesses would be schizophrenia. However to the point of the thread:

 

Recent discussions among the mod community about assorted displays of feminine wares led to nowhere.

In response, the Columbus, Ohio faction of TBD attempted to relieve themselves of angry thoughts by meditating in the nude while chanting utterances only those in the 518 area code can translate

Speaking of the 518 boys, having picked up on these chants telepathically they became highly aroused in their weekly lunch session usually held at a hotel that is accommodating to their after lunch "team building"

At this weeks session the team building got out of sorts when one of the wine loving members of the 518 boys realized that his member was not functioning properly

This led a sympathetic 518 boy to immediately leave for Florida in search of viagara to bring home to his brother

While traveling down I-95 this 518 boy entered the city limits of Philadelphia for the first time. He found himself in a very thirsty state.

Therefore, he contacted the only known member of the board who lives in Philly and asked him where his thirst could be quenched

The Philly board member became quite confused by this request because he was daydreaming about one of the scarier women from a wouldya thread

In his state of horniness he therefore directed his 518 brother to a bar where he could obtain bottles of Champaign, to be consumed as road sodas on the way to Florida

Had this 518 brother not bought out most of the Champaign stock there would have been plenty available later for Shady and friends to share,

 

This is why posters from Columbus, Ohio are the root cause of this mess.

Again. Well done. So little migrant workers who can't make a basket, Ohio authority figures and guys in red boxers caused this mess? I buy it.

[BuffaloBill]

Again. Well done. So little migrant workers who can't make a basket, Ohio authority figures and guys in red boxers caused this mess? I buy it.

You will buy anything if it is cheap....this is most especially true of drugs, booze and hookers....

[mead107]

I wake up from nap find that roger hired off duty police officers to keep eyes on Tyrod. Off duty police officers follow wrong guy. Rodger is mad and wants money back from officers he hired. Had paid them to get Tyrod suspended so his love , EJ could start next season.