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Posted (edited)

Brandon introduced the new promotion motto for the year. It is : This year is going to be different. When asked by a media member what is going to be different about this year? Brandon responded: the year will be different.

 

Rex was asked at the promotion event what is the best thing about coaching the Bills. He said having a rich guaranteed five year contract. He was also asked if the Bills were going to make any big additions this year. He said yes, his weighty brother. The followup question was what attribute is he going to bring to the table. Rex said 300 sloppy lbs and a gargantuan appetite to the table.

 

Brandon also brought up the point that he is going to do everything in his means to turn it around. When asked of an example of what he was doing he pointed out that he made a formal complaint to Goodell that he doesn't want Spero Dedes and Solomon Wilcots to announce anymore of their games. When asked why he said they were jinxing us!

 

Brandon also announced that their secondary marketing motto for the upcoming season was going to be : Trust us, we will arrive at the destination this year. When Jerry Sullivan stood up and asked what the hell does that mean, he was immediately thrown out of the gathering for asking such an impertinent question.

 

Brandon was asked by a member of the media why the Bills' facilities smelled differently from other franchise facilities. He said it was due to the lingering long term stench of wretched mediocrity.

Edited by JohnC
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Posted

Brandon commented at a press conference that the franchise had made improvements in the offseason. When asked what were they he responded that the the locker room had been freshly pointed and new carpets added, and out of deference to the new coaching addition, Rex's sloppy looking brother, more desserts will be added to the training table. It was also pointed out that because a higher level of conditioning will be required that Dareus will not be allowed to eat the high caloric desserts until he passes a conditioning test.

Posted (edited)

Brandon announces that he wants the team to become the crazy Al Davis Raiders of the East. He announces the slogan for the year is "A Killer Attitude". He then introduces Greg Hardy as a new Bill. The media members don't ask him any questions because they are afraid of the snarling player who is packing a gun. When Brandon was asked if it was appropriate for a player to be openly carrying an automatic gun to an introduction he said it was legal in Texas so he assumed it was legal in NY. The trembling media members one by one discreetly leave the room.

Edited by JohnC
Posted (edited)

"Fear the playoffs"

 

"When it's 4th and Rex's head, punt"

 

"We like to play football"

 

"Did we mention that we have consistent punting?"

 

"Playing not to lose since 1960"

 

I think that punting should have something to do with it.

Edited by Gale Gilbert
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