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Posted

 

Funny story. It failed me miserably. 3rd date with a woman, drinks at her place, everything going well and she asked me to choose a bottle of wine. It took me 10 minutes and googling. She deduced why I was late and she had said that a man to her could choose the right bottle of wine.

 

Most embarrassing is taking 10 minutes to google it. You indisputably suck at the internet.

Posted (edited)

 

Most embarrassing is taking 10 minutes to google it. You indisputably suck at the internet.

INTJ, FML.

 

edit: i did end up choosing one of her favorites. Harris Teeter has a decent selection. Bogle Pinot Noir.

 

I need to reach out and see if i can pull off another chance with her. 5'10 brunette with a masters degree running a non prof.

Edited by Boyst62
Posted

my top 10:

  • Never try to please a woman, (it's can't be done) just focus on not pissing them off.
  • It will never be as good as the first time.
  • The more time you have to do something, the less likely it will get done.
  • It's okay to stop eating when you feel full at a buffet.
  • No matter how reasonable an idea seems to be, there will be people against it.
  • Never give expensive electronics as gifts; it's rarely what they really want.
  • The best time to buy groceries is 3am
  • Take at least one vacation a year with a plan to do absolutely nothing.
  • If it tastes good, don't ask what's in it.
  • Get used to the fact that you're surrounded by idiots
Posted (edited)

Never ask a woman if she is pregnant....never, ever. Learned this the hard way.

Asking a woman if she's pregnant, even if she is, can be taken the wrong way, i would agree with that! Asking a woman when she is do is another no-no as well, I almost did on several occasions, but wasn't sure enough....

there are II types of people in the world

those who understand Roman Numerals and those who do not

also...

 

there are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't...

Edited by ricojes
Posted

Asking a woman if she's pregnant, even if she is, can be taken the wrong way too. so i would agree with that! Asking a woman when she is do is another no-no as well, I almost did on several occasions, but wasn't sure enough....

also...

 

there are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't...

 

There are actually 3.5 types of people in this world: those who agree, those who disagree, those who don't care, and halfwits who think you can roll 3.5 on a die.

Posted

One pearl of wisdom I picked up from the movie Yellowbeard: never trust a woman or a government.

 

What I picked up from Yellowbeard is: stagger, stagger, crawl, crawl, stagger.

Posted

 

  • A man knows how to: tie a Windsor knot, fix a car, throw a baseball, give a toast or a eulogy off-the-cuff, start a fire, cook breakfast, order her dinner, choose a wine, play a song on the guitar, hold a grudge, let go of a grudge, find north, polish a pair of shoes, sharpen a blade, shuffle cards, drive stick, tie a bowline and a clove hitch, approach a strange dog, and be there for her without being "just her friend."

 

I showed this to my girlfriend last night as we ate a fancy dinner at the IHOP. She agreed that I can do the things in bold.

Posted

A friend ten years my senior told me on my 50th birthday "never trust a fart, never waste an erection, and never pass up an opportunity to use the rest room".

Posted

I showed this to my girlfriend last night as we ate a fancy dinner at the IHOP. She agreed that I can do the things in bold.

 

One more:

  • Don't do toasts and eulogies off the cuff.

 

If you're doing toasts and eulogies off the cuff, you were clearly the wrong choice to deliver them.

Posted

Trust your dog's instincts, they generally love anyone, If your dog is wary of someone, that person is probably not a good person (or mistreated your dog when you weren't watching).

I know this is common thinking, but I've encountered dogs of friends for the 1st time that did growl or become mildly aggressive where there was nothing to be alarmed about. Most dogs don't, but there've been a few -with no merit.

 

One more:

  • Don't do toasts and eulogies off the cuff.

 

If you're doing toasts and eulogies off the cuff, you were clearly the wrong choice to deliver them.

Disagree. I'm routinely called on to do both -toasts more often than eulogies. Forming coherent sentences on the fly is under rated.

Posted

 

Disagree. I'm routinely called on to do both -toasts more often than eulogies. Forming coherent sentences on the fly is under rated.

 

If you're called on to make a quick toast spur of the moment, sure. But not preparing for a planned toast (such as at a wedding) or a eulogy is just disrespectful and trashy.

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