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Posted

OK, there is actually a point to the obscure Bill Murray movie quote reference in my thread title. Every now and then mankind advances because somebody thinks outside the box and revolutionizes the way we do things. Case in point: the Fosbury Flop. Mocked and laughed at until the guy started winning high jump competitions with his totally unorthodox approach to the sport. Or in Bill Murray's case, his spectacular idea to advance the culinary science of making tuna fish sandwiches by feeding the mayonnaise to the fish, thus totally eliminating the need to spread the stuff on the sandwich bread.

 

Sammy Watkins can't stay healthy, but we have his brother on the practice squad. Big deal, so what, who gives a s**t.

 

Well that's exactly what the other high jumpers said when that Fosbury fella came along and shook things up.

 

Don't anybody tell the Pats************************** this, but to get Sammy on the field, we can use his brother Jaylen for spare parts. Last I checked, human cloning was considered unethical, but transplants have been OK ever since that South African guy (not the one with blades for legs who shot his girlfriend to death in the bathroom - - the one with real legs who did the first heart transplant) started detaching body parts from one guy and hooking them up to somebody else.

 

Other teams can't make this revolutionary leap 'cause you can't just use anybody for spare parts. If people aren't related, there's a high risk that the donor's parts will get rejected when we graft them on to Sammy. But 'cause Jaylen is Sammy's brother, there's DNA overlap, so Sammy's brain won't reject the assimilation of Jaylen's calf.

 

And for all you inside the box thinkers that are gonna say this will never work, Jaylen's got 2 healthy calves to start with. If we was askin' Jaylen to donate a kidney to save Sammy's life, nobody would bat an eye, 'cause Jaylen's walkin' around with a spare. So how is it any different if Jaylen donates one of his 2 calves to save Sammy's football life? Sammy's football life is just about in hospice care. Pretty soon he's gonna be the next Percy Harvin.

 

C'mon people, there's guys getting' face transplants these days - shirley we can get Jaylen to contribute one measly calf muscle to the team effort. It's not like the Bills aren't already payin' Jaylen for basically doin' nothin' anyways.

 

We got 2 Watkins brothers sitting' on the bench, and they got 3 healthy calves between them. Well not literally between them, but connecting their knees to their feet. With one calf muscle or two, Jaylen's still gonna be ridin' the pine. So why not get Sammy back on the field?

 

Too bad Jaylen don't have an extra brain. But maybe someday medical ethnicianology will advance to the point where the authorities will let Sammy grow his own spare.

 

Wouldn't that be a hoot!

Posted

This is the exact kind of "outside the box" thinking that Championships are made of (Bellicheat has Jamie Collins high jump the center on a field goal, the ineligible receiver play, etc.) Grafting new limbs on star athletes will occur in the next 20 years mark my word. Want to thank the OP for introducing this subject. When LeBron's 3 meter arms are no longer use to him, why not re-attach them to a guy like Sammy. He won't even have to jump for a ball. I can see Sports Science have a few episodes on this subject.

Posted

Hode it, hode it, that's a Michael Keaton line from Night shift, not Bill Murray. One of my favorite movie lines

 

Thank you!

 

And Night Shift an obscure movie?? Hardly! That's one of the best movies of the 80s.

Posted

Reading the title of the thread I thought you were going somewhere COMPLETELY different, and I was all like ewww, why didnt the mods close this thread down. But anywho, thanks for taking my mind out of the gutter, if only briefly.

Posted

it still is pretty obscure, heck, i'd consider Johnny Dangerously obscure. With both movies, there are large pockets of people that can probably recite most of the lines from them(me included), but I wouldn't call either one of them really mainstream movies.

 

 

 

Thank you!

 

And Night Shift an obscure movie?? Hardly! That's one of the best movies of the 80s.

Posted

Hode it, hode it, that's a Michael Keaton line from Night shift, not Bill Murray. One of my favorite movie lines

 

 

 

Thank you!

 

And Night Shift an obscure movie?? Hardly! That's one of the best movies of the 80s.

 

My apologies to Michael Keaton. I think his character in Night Shift was named "Bill," and somehow that became Bill Murray in my head. Maybe when medical ethnicianology advances far enough my brother Darryl can grow me a spare.

 

BTW, would someone please explain to me why a bye-week thread that is clearly Bills-related got moved from the main board to Off-The-Wall? Given the Bills performance in their loss to the Jags, it's not like we couldn't use a little comic relief around here.

Posted

2 of them, thank you very much :censored:

 

Your brother has two brains?!?! That is so cool for two reasons.

 

1. It's a great Halloween story

2. He can give you one and still be able to function.

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