NoSaint Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 The hackers say they outed the AM subscribers because they are opposed to cheating. If you buy that, I have a bridge to sell you. They outed the AM subscribers because they wanted to flex their hacking muscles, because it was fun, and because they knew they'd get a shitload of attention. I don't think for one second that the 23 year old hacker who did this was on a moral mission. If driven by morality it was a pretty big failure in finding a high ground
Rob's House Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 I think those in a supposed "committed monogamous relationship" using the site are pitiful humans. Those who make these kind of sites, are money-grubbing scum---they take advantage of the pitiful. For me, a quick way to judge a business is, when questioned about the practices of the company, somewhere in the answer is "what we do isn't illegal" or something along those lines. The hackers in this case, are law-breaking scum. Self-deluded and self-righteous. Huge financial penalties and a long stretch behind bars is what they deserve. I agree with most of your post, but I think this is an over statement. I know it's just opinion, but I think there are a lot of situations where it's perfectly understandable. The most frequent probably being a guy (or girl, but more often a guy) who's married with kids, has a functional home life, but a sex life that's run dry leaving him with needs that aren't being met. Getting some discreet side action may be better for everyone than getting a divorce and moving out.
boyst Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 this wasn't a hacking, for what its worth. that's the wrong usage of the word hacking.
The Dean Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 I agree with most of your post, but I think this is an over statement. I know it's just opinion, but I think there are a lot of situations where it's perfectly understandable. The most frequent probably being a guy (or girl, but more often a guy) who's married with kids, has a functional home life, but a sex life that's run dry leaving him with needs that aren't being met. Getting some discreet side action may be better for everyone than getting a divorce and moving out. Understood. And yes, it was an over-statement of sorts. But in your example, don't you find the subject in question a bit "pitiful"? I mean, don't you pity someone in that situation? I purposefully didn't use the word "scum" or "loser" because sometimes they are just in a crappy spot. But I think even if the cases you mention, it's best not to hide what's going on. I also know that is more than a bit utopian--but it might help explain why I've never been married.
Clippers of Nfl Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 I agree with most of your post, but I think this is an over statement. I know it's just opinion, but I think there are a lot of situations where it's perfectly understandable. The most frequent probably being a guy (or girl, but more often a guy) who's married with kids, has a functional home life, but a sex life that's run dry leaving him with needs that aren't being met. Getting some discreet side action may be better for everyone than getting a divorce and moving out. Screw that Rob. I dont agree with that. Sex problems can be fixed. 100% of the time.
IDBillzFan Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 This one's bad just because of what happens to all these "outed" people and their families. All this did was expedite the inevitable.
NoSaint Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 All this did was expedite the inevitable. really, having no idea about any of their lives, it seems a pretty rash statement. it certainly brought public judgement, regardless of what was happening in their home/personal lives though.
billsfan89 Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 That's a crazy statement. Not everyone cheats. But it's like getting over the hump (no pun intended). Once you do it, you could stop. I have zero zero zero intentions of cheating again. Like ever. Like not in a million years. I was young and immature. Not a good excuse, but that's all I have. Not everyone cheats but almost every guy has a desire to sleep with other women. A lot of men may not act on that desire but that doesn't mean that desire isn't inherently built into the DNA of men. Monogamy is a fairly recent human invention. Men evolved to spread their seed as much as possible. That's not an excuse for doing something immoral but there needs to be an honesty among men in society that monogamy isn't a natural state for most men and it leads to a lot of unhappiness for both parties. Until men start being honest about our sexual nature we are just going to keep subjecting ourselves to this one size fits all monogamy myth.
Alaska Darin Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 Not everyone cheats but almost every guy has a desire to sleep with other women. A lot of men may not act on that desire but that doesn't mean that desire isn't inherently built into the DNA of men. Monogamy is a fairly recent human invention. Men evolved to spread their seed as much as possible. That's not an excuse for doing something immoral but there needs to be an honesty among men in society that monogamy isn't a natural state for most men and it leads to a lot of unhappiness for both parties. Until men start being honest about our sexual nature we are just going to keep subjecting ourselves to this one size fits all monogamy myth. Monogamy wasn't brought to the human race by men.
IDBillzFan Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 really, having no idea about any of their lives, it seems a pretty rash statement. it certainly brought public judgement, regardless of what was happening in their home/personal lives though. Maybe. But cheating demands two things: self-destructive behavior (whether you want to admit it or not) and deception. Both are difficult to balance and maintain successfully. The more you cheat, the greater the amount of destruction you are preparing to cause and the harder it is to maintain the past deceptions. Then you add people to the mix, and, well...you're pretty much going to get nailed...either by your spouse, or Roger Goodell.
NoSaint Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 (edited) Maybe. But cheating demands two things: self-destructive behavior (whether you want to admit it or not) and deception. Both are difficult to balance and maintain successfully. The more you cheat, the greater the amount of destruction you are preparing to cause and the harder it is to maintain the past deceptions. Then you add people to the mix, and, well...you're pretty much going to get nailed...either by your spouse, or Roger Goodell. Your post may qualify as exhibit a in my argument... It's assumed these men were were serial cheaters. Given the alleged total lack of female profiles, and an assumption that of those few profiles only a small percentage follow through, then issues like open relationships, single people joining, etc...- i would venture there was very little actual cheating going on. Certainly a lot of wandering eyes with various degrees of follow through but I'd venture a lot of long term relationships have thought crimes or bad situations without follow through. It's an interesting situation (both the website, and reactions) Edited August 27, 2015 by NoSaint
Clippers of Nfl Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 Not everyone cheats but almost every guy has a desire to sleep with other women. A lot of men may not act on that desire but that doesn't mean that desire isn't inherently built into the DNA of men. Monogamy is a fairly recent human invention. Men evolved to spread their seed as much as possible. That's not an excuse for doing something immoral but there needs to be an honesty among men in society that monogamy isn't a natural state for most men and it leads to a lot of unhappiness for both parties. Until men start being honest about our sexual nature we are just going to keep subjecting ourselves to this one size fits all monogamy myth. I dont get it. Honest about what? Of course we want to bang practically everything that moves. The desire is there. I think everyone knows that. Just dont act on the desire. At least Im honest. My wife knows. If she croaks. Im waiting a reasonable amount of time (like a few weeks, lol), then Im banging someone or something.
The Dean Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 Not everyone cheats but almost every guy has a desire to sleep with other women. A lot of men may not act on that desire but that doesn't mean that desire isn't inherently built into the DNA of men. Monogamy is a fairly recent human invention. Men evolved to spread their seed as much as possible. That's not an excuse for doing something immoral but there needs to be an honesty among men in society that monogamy isn't a natural state for most men and it leads to a lot of unhappiness for both parties. Until men start being honest about our sexual nature we are just going to keep subjecting ourselves to this one size fits all monogamy myth. Well, let's get rid of the absolute "every" here, and just deal with the typical. I agree most men, and women, have sexual desires that extend to more than one person. So what? We also probably want to grab everything we want and not pay for it---right? Mine Mine Mine!!!!! I like to think you learn things as you age, and one of those things is, you can desire something, but not act on it---and that is fine. Even if your relationship is great, and you really love your partner, you will still be attracted to other people. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with the relationship. We evolve---physical, mentally and emotionally. As people, and as a race. A base response for us is to be suspicious of those not like us---hence racism. (Yes, I realize this is a bit over-simplistic, but go with it.) If we are physical imposing, we understand early we can get our way through physical intimidation and violence. I could go on. But as a society we realize it is better to keep these base instincts in check. We can live very happier, and more productive lives (as a group), without giving into our base instincts. With that said, we have plenty of outlets to indulge most of those instincts without being complete dicks. If you are physically imposing, you can play sports and get your fix. You can join a "men's" group, an Italian organization, Augusta National or the NAACP to get your xenophobic freak on. And nobody is forcing you to get into a monogamous relationship. That's a choice you make. Marriage is one step beyond that--usually. I know married couples who have fairly open sexual relationships. But they aren't lying to each other about them. If you want to know one, exclusively human behavior, I think it's lying. I'm not saying there isn't any other animal that engages in that behavior---but I can't think of one at the moment. OK, I'm ranting---where was I going with this? Dunno... But I just typed all that, so maybe it means something. I need another drink...
Observer Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 (edited) All this did was expedite the inevitable. Only for some, and the public outing is much different than a private one. Edited August 27, 2015 by Observer
IDBillzFan Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 Only for some, and the public outing is much different than a private one. Gee, if only all the people who signed up to create an account on a website that promotes adultery had an idea that websites could be hacked. Do you have any idea how big of a dumbass you would have to be to think that the best way to cheat on your spouse would be to turn over personal information to a freaking website? If you're that stupid, you deserve to get outed.
The Dean Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 If you're that stupid, you deserve to get outed. I have to disagree with that. Not everyone understands the implications of what they do on the Internet---and I don't think this is an acceptable outcome for that ignorance. Unrelated (but not completely) to that, a couple was on NPR today discussing how the man's email was on the list, but he didn't sign up. As you may already know, AM didn't make you verify your email (send you an email to respond to---unthinkable in any good practice for such a site). They went to AM and did a password reset (then they send you an email) logged in and got the profile for the guy who created the account. Found his Twillter and Facebook accounts. Similar last name, completely different physical description. Claim they actually know who he is and where he lives. They sounded pretty convincing (though I'm sure it could have been the man from the couple who was smart enough to put fake details in his profile). This was an intelligent couple who really know how to work the net. Imagine if the wife wasn't so savvy---how about having to explain to her it wasn't really you who signed up. Good luck with that.
jr1 Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 that site was a total sausage party and a lot of live have been ruined
Observer Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 (edited) Gee, if only all the people who signed up to create an account on a website that promotes adultery had an idea that websites could be hacked. Do you have any idea how big of a dumbass you would have to be to think that the best way to cheat on your spouse would be to turn over personal information to a freaking website? If you're that stupid, you deserve to get outed. I go to porn sites. I'm guessing some hacker could track my IP address, correspond that to some geographic data, and out my viewing preference with my actual name. It's not something I'd want to be public (not that I'm looking at anything all that exciting--but still don't want my neighbor, my mom, and my brother knowing my viewing habits) and I hardly feel like an idiot if someone did that to me. If your medical data got hacked, would you want it to be public? It sounds like most of the accounts were anonymous but the credit card transactions were not. That's where the names are. I dunno: Of course I would feel freaked out to give my personal data to a site like that but I'm sure the site had a lot to say about protecting user's privacy and the like--a lot of people would believe that. You said the disclosure of the affairs was inevitable. Again, it's not. OR if it does get exposed, there's a HUGE difference between spouses working it out and someone getting outed to their coworkers, family, friends, etc. I'm sure we're a week away from a Somolian website posting an entire searchable cross-referenceable database of all the users. It will be up and once up, will be copied and shared and that data will forever be up so that some guy's kid who is 5 today will know in 10 years that her dad had an account at AM. The hackers claim to have photos, emails, and chat logs--so not only can the kids see their dad's account, but also all that stuff. That outcome was not inevitable--it's the direct result of the hackers' work. . Edited August 27, 2015 by Observer
bbb Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 that site was a total sausage party and a lot of live have been ruined What?!? The ads I've seen have smoking hot chicks!
Nervous Guy Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 What?!? The ads I've seen have smoking hot chicks! From the linked article: "Overall, the picture is grim indeed. Out of 5.5 million female accounts, roughly zero percent had ever shown any kind of activity at all, after the day they were created. The men’s accounts tell a story of lively engagement with the site, with over 20 million men hopefully looking at their inboxes, and over 10 million of them initiating chats. The women’s accounts show so little activity that they might as well not be there."
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