Gugny Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Its a good one but can it really compare to this? The hot sauce lube is another classic. I wish I had saved the blowup mattress chronicles, too. And the poetry/song lyrics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 You could talk about the Modified Unified Theorem of Everything. 3.5 microwaved soup chroise more cowbell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jauronimo Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 The hot sauce lube is another classic. I wish I had saved the blowup mattress chronicles, too. And the poetry/song lyrics. My PMs are a goldmine (once you filter through Beerball's daily affirmations of what a bad person I am). Heres another good one. its not just time zone change which in a 1 oclock game does make a difference IMO, changes in elevation and Geographic location slightly alter the gravitational force Rivers is used to dealing with on the West coast Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hapless Bills Fan Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 I was...let's just say "peripherally involved with"...the systems at OPM that were recently hacked. Given the political blood bath going on over this, there is a miniscule chance that I might be called in front of Congress to testify. So I wanted to ask this question of the board: if I have to testify, what TDBisms should I work in to my testimony? "You're an idiot" is a given, of course (particularly given my contempt of Congresscritters). And I'll try to use "retatta." Any other suggestions? [Try to keep it non-political as much as possible, please. Mods, I ask some lenience for any political statements; I'd like suggestions from the wider board, not just PPP.] "don't confuse effort with results" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob's House Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 If you could not only mention, but further explain the "gatorman fallacy" that would be legendary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike in Horseheads Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Just say EJ...bound to unleash anger from both parties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICanSleepWhenI'mDead Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 1. Four pages in, and nobody has suggested that you blame the breach on the hated Patriots****** ? If the Patriot*********** Act comes up, it could be the perfect Segway to transport Belicheat under the bus, and put the Patriots******** long history of cheating into the Congressional record. 2. Blame it on the aliens in the underwater UFO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ricojes Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 You can't teach accuracy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Caveman Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Uncle Sam is cheap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Who ever has leftover retatta? I hope everyone who has ever attempted to make it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Caveman Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 While you're there hopefully you get can get answer about these underwater UFOs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pine Barrens Mafia Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 OH, please be sure to remind everyone that keeping potato salad on a hot car hood is a bad idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 I will tell you how to say something like I post. You will have them so confused (you forget, Congresscritters can't critically think) that they will throw their hands up and let you leave. Just mumble something about a Riddler and a lock if you want the two word method. Four word method? Throw in "Asian carp." Again, remember this is Congress. You've cut your teeth on PPP. You have this licked! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloBud Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Before you are excused tell them that you are going through some large personal issue and you would like their advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Before you are excused tell them that you are going through some large personal issue and you would like their advice. No....good God no!!! Asking you knuckleheads for advice is wrong. Asking Congress for advice is just 100% jacked up dumbass mother!@#$ing stupid!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boyst Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Help with homework? Gravity effected the hack? You can Shirley get Rosen'ed in there. Stojan and retatta as others said Belinda would be too easy. Work in: "Ed gives head" "I don't give a Stojan" "Jerky jerks" "Tracy Lee is a horrible parent" At the end just start muttering the names of the horses who've failed to complete the Triple Crown, starting with Smarty Jones. good throwbacks. Instead of pleading the 5th, just say "belinda."perfect Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Before they start asking questions tell them you just put a Hot Pocket® in the microwave. Then when they ask a sensitive question, say Ding! Gotta go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Just tell them you are a supercilious pedantic anal orifice. Congress will automatically give you a seat in the Senate and Obama will shake your hand. Request Texas, Florida, or Utah. Oh, and don't forget the: "27 8x10 color glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one." Make sure to circle your big bulbous head too... Congress will love you and you will be Sr. Senator from TX/FLA or Utah in no time flat! Before they start asking questions tell them you just put a Hot Pocket® in the microwave. Then when they ask a sensitive question, say Ding! Gotta go! No you've done it! You want him to make Senator from MA! Good going... ;-P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azalin Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Blame the hack on the NSA, and that once you heard about it, you immediately emailed Lois Lerner to let her know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BringBackFergy Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Refer to all the militant female senators as "deers" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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