DC Tom Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 I was...let's just say "peripherally involved with"...the systems at OPM that were recently hacked. Given the political blood bath going on over this, there is a miniscule chance that I might be called in front of Congress to testify. So I wanted to ask this question of the board: if I have to testify, what TDBisms should I work in to my testimony? "You're an idiot" is a given, of course (particularly given my contempt of Congresscritters). And I'll try to use "retatta." Any other suggestions? [Try to keep it non-political as much as possible, please. Mods, I ask some lenience for any political statements; I'd like suggestions from the wider board, not just PPP.]
BringBackFergy Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 If they start to grill you hard on the data breach, you can say: I learned one thing from this whole experience and the un-Godly amounts of money we spent on computer systems consultants....don't confuse effort with results.
jr1 Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 use these teen slang terms http://stylecaster.com/the-most-popular-slang-terms-of-2015-animated/
Canadian Bills Fan Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 Ground up and in the freezer you should also be able to slip in "F5" no problem CBF
DrDawkinstein Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 (edited) It would be great if you could sneak any of these onto the record: "Russ Brandon must go" "Ralph is cheap" "Doooooooomed" "Asleep at the wheel" Edited June 17, 2015 by DrDareustein
Canadian Bills Fan Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 "I'm so $#@ing done with this testimony" CBF
4merper4mer Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 It is congress so you had better be serious. Also try to boil it down to the most likely scenario and explain Occum's Shaver to them.
Jauronimo Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 discussion of moats as a means of data security and radiation containment changes in the gravitational constant due to geology the mean expected outcome of rolling a die do your own homework, Sue Exhibit B pixyland.org defer to the authority of El Pegual
4merper4mer Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 If you sense that you're getting in trouble just apologize and tell them that it stems from a self of steam problem.
LB3 Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 The hack may or may not be attributable to the slow eyes of security personnel.
....lybob Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 Argue incessantly that the word hacked is so vaguely defined that not only have the computers in question not been hacked but that no computers have ever been hacked.
Chef Jim Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 Have an idiot-athon. We each pledge a specific amount for every time you use the word idiot. I'm sure we can come up with a good cause.
DC Tom Posted June 17, 2015 Author Posted June 17, 2015 Have an idiot-athon. We each pledge a specific amount for every time you use the word idiot. I'm sure we can come up with a good cause. Point of note: I was planning on alternating "idiot" with "full gatorman." So you may want to combine them for pledge purposes.
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